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Saturday, October 31, 2009

Samhain*


Samhain

And the fires
Shall burn
And the wheel of life
Shall turn
And the dead will come home, on Samhain

And then
The night sky
On a lunar light
midnight
And the dead will come home, on Samhain

Little children
Dress like beasts
In the lamp-lit
Dark streets
And the dead come alive, on Samhain

Come away
From this island earth
Come back to
The moment of your birth
And the dead come alive, on Samhain

Ever since
The dawn of time
This day has been for them
Lay your minds on the line
And await the dead, on Samhain

When the wall
Grows thin
Allows the dead
To come in
So await the dead, on Samhain

I will see you, come Samhain

------------------
Glen Whitman, Gather.com

*Pronounced: SOW-in (as in "cow"), (or sometimes sew-WIN)
For more pagan pronunciations, click here.
**Read about Samhain

Daily Savings Time Ends - Sunday November 1st!


Trick or Treat, Animal style!


Don't know what happened to 1 and 2...the rest - in no particular order...

Halloween For Pets
Halloween For Pets
Halloween For Pets
Halloween For Pets
Halloween For Pets
Halloween For Pets
Halloween For Pets
Halloween For Pets
Halloween For Pets
Halloween For Pets
Halloween For Pets
Halloween For Pets
Halloween For Pets
Halloween For Pets
Halloween For Pets
Halloween For Pets
Halloween For Pets
Halloween For Pets
Halloween For Pets
Halloween For Pets
Halloween For Pets
Halloween For Pets
Halloween For Pets
Halloween For Pets
Halloween For Pets
Halloween For Pets
Halloween For Pets

Friday, October 30, 2009

Mike The Headless Chicken

And now for something completely different...


"The baby will talk when he talks, relax. It ain't like he knows the cure for cancer and he just ain't spitting it out."

http://twitter.com/shitmydadsays


*Thanks, Dave

The Magic Gopher


Magic Gopher - Click here

Click Above.

If you can't figure it out, The Wizard has the answer! Email me by clicking on my picture at the top of 'OZ' and I will send you the trick.

Bowling For Cats

Bowling for cats!

Bowling for cats! Click here to play
Click above to play - The Wizard scored 117 cats. Record your score! Put your scores in the comments!!

The Mule and the Farmer's Wife


The Farmer's Wife


An old farmer had a wife who nagged him unmercifully.

From morning till night (and sometimes later), she was always complaining about something. The only time he got any relief was when he was out plowing with his old mule. He tried to plow a lot.

One day, when he was out plowing, his wife brought him lunch in the field. He drove the old mule into the shade, sat down on a stump, and began to eat his lunch. Immediately, his wife began haranguing him again. Complain, nag, nag; it just went on and on.

All of a sudden, the old mule lashed out with both hind feet; caught her smack in the back of the head. Killed her dead on the spot.

At the funeral several days later, the minister noticed something rather odd. When a woman mourner would approach the old farmer, he would listen for a minute, then nod his head in agreement; but when a man mourner approached him, he would listen for a minute, then shake his head in disagreement. This was so consistent, the minister decided to ask the old farmer about it.

So after the funeral, the minister spoke to the old farmer, and asked him why he nodded his head and agreed with the women, but always shook his head and disagreed with all the men.

The old farmer said: "Well, the women would come up and say something about how nice my wife looked, or how pretty her dress was, so I'd nod my head in agreement."

"And what about the men?" the minister asked.

"They wanted to know if the mule was for sale."


Happy Halloween!


Happy Halloween



Happy Halloween

Happy Halloween



Happy Halloween



Thursday, October 29, 2009

Halloweenies


Halloweenies
Halloweenies
Halloweenies
Halloweenies
Halloweenies
Halloweenies
Halloweenies

Halloween Humour


Happy Halloween


An old couple who hadn't celebrated Halloween in a long time decided to dress up and go out.

The old woman went into her bedroom, stripped naked and tied a lemon between her legs.

When she came out, the old man cried,"You can't go out like that!"

She said, "I can go anyway I like and so can you!"

Whereupon he retired to the bedroom and came out stark raving naked with a potato tied to his tallywhacker.

The old woman says, "You're going out like that?" and he replies, "Yep, if you can go as a sour-puss, I can go as a dick-tator.


The Blair Thumb



The Phantom Hag - A Halloween Tale

The Phantom Hag - A Halloween Story

Click above to read the story. (PDF)

OUTLIVE Homophobia


OUTLIVE HOMOPHOBIA. Click here for details

OUTLIVE HOMOPHOBIA. Click here for The Rainbow Health Coalition Website.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

The story of my life


Story of my life

*Thanks, Gary

Now we know why........


A long time ago, the British and French were at war.

During one battle, the French captured an English major.

They took the major to their headquarters and a French general began to question him.
The French general asked: 'Why do you English officers all wear red coats? Don't you know the red material makes you easy targets for us to shoot?'

In his debonair English way, the major informed the general that the reason English officers wear red coats is so that if they are shot, the blood won't show, and the men they are leading won't panic.


And that is why from that day to now, all French army officers wear brown pants.

*Thanks, Gary

TROY - The Latest Strip


--Wizard's Note: I have updated all the TROY posts to reflect Michael Derry's new domain. Links are no longer broken--


This a gay-themed comic

Click Above Then choose 'Current Strip'

Click Above Then choose 'Current Strip'.



Troy #240 “Catching Up With” is out in the magazines and up online. Another six months has passed. Like sands through the hourglass... Find out how everyone’s lives have changed.

And Michael's book “Troy: From 1 to 200 The First Ten Years” is now available on LULU.com. What a great book for the beach or just relaxing by the pool, huh?


Best Halloween Costume Ever!


Headless Horseman Dog Halloween Costume!
*Thanks, Calvin

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Jest Jokes...


Haeeya!

Three handsome male dogs are walking down the street when they see a beautiful, enticing, female Poodle. The three male dogs fall all over themselves in an effort to be the one to reach her first, but end up arriving in front of her at the same time.

The males are speechless before her beauty, slobbering on themselves and hoping for just a glance from her in return. Aware of her charms and her obvious effect on the three suitors, she decides to be kind and tells them “The first one who can use the words “liver” and “cheese” together in an imaginative, intelligent sentence can go out with me.” The sturdy, muscular black Lab speaks up quickly and says “I love liver and cheese.”

“Oh, how childish,” said the Poodle. “That shows no imagination or intelligence whatsoever.” She turned to the tall, shiny Golden Retriever and said “How well can you do?” “Ummmm...I HATE liver and cheese,” blurts the Golden Retriever. “My, my,” said the Poodle. “I guess it’s hopeless. That’s just a “Liver alone. Cheese mine.”

HYUK!

The photographer for a national magazine was assigned to get photos of a great forest fire. Smoke at the scene was too thick to get any good shots, so he frantically called his home office to hire a plane. "It will be waiting for you at the airport!" he was assured by his editor. As soon as he got to the small, rural airport, sure enough, a plane was warming up near the runway.

He jumped in with his equipment and yelled, "Let's go! Let's go!" The pilot swung the plane into the wind and soon they were in the air. "Fly over the north side of the fire," said the photographer, "and make three or four low level passes." "Why?" asked the pilot. "Because I'm going to take pictures! I'm a photographer, and photographers take pictures!" said the photographer with great exasperation. After a long pause the pilot said, "You mean you're not the instructor?"

HYUK!

Anytime you see a young man open a car door for his girlfriend, either the car is new or the girlfriend is.

HYUK!

Three old ladies sit in a diner, discussing their health. One lady says, "You know, I'm getting really forgetful. This morning, I was standing at the top of the stairs, and I couldn't remember whether I had just come up or was about to go down."

The second lady says, "You think that's bad? The other day, I was sitting on the edge of my bed, and I couldn't remember whether I was going to sleep or had just woken up!"

The third lady smiles smugly. "Well, my memory is just as good as it's always been, knock on wood," she says as she raps on the table. Then with a startled look on her face, she asks, "Who's there?"

HYUK!

Three friends -- two straight guys and a gay guy -- and their significant others were on a cruise. A tidal wave came up and swamped the ship; they all drowned, and next thing you know, they're standing before St. Peter.

First came one of the straight guys and his wife. St. Peter shook his head sadly. "I can't let you in. You loved money too much. You loved it so much, you even married a woman named Penny."

Then came the second straight guy. "Sorry, can't let you in, either. You loved food too much. You loved to eat so much, you even married a woman named Candy!"

The gay guy turned to his boyfriend and whispered nervously, "It doesn't look good, Dick."


Woo! HOO!!