Pantene Markets New Shampoo As Best For Masturbating Boyfriend In Shower

CINCINNATI—In an attempt to capture a wider share of the marketplace, the Procter & Gamble corporation launched a campaign Monday to rebrand its popular Pro-V line of shampoos as the leading hair-care product for women with dry, brittle hair who also wish to manually bring their boyfriends to climax while showering.



The affordable shampoo promises salon-quality looks and a frictionless orgasm. "In addition to providing women with a luxuriant head of shiny, healthy hair, our new Pantene Pro-V2 line is ideal for vigorously working that special someone's member without the soreness and discomfort caused by other shampoos," spokeswoman Karen Radcliffe said. "With 20 percent more of the moisture-rich ingredients found in the original Pro-V formula, your hair will always look great, and his penis will never get dried out or chafed."



*The Onion





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