At an entrance:
Woman: Did you open the door for me because I am a lady?
Man: No, I did because I am a gentleman.
Q. What do you call a ginger bread man with one leg?
A. Limp biscuit
Two women, who are dog owners, are arguing which dog is smarter.
First woman: My dog is so smart. Every morning he waits for the paperboy to come around and then he takes a newspaper and brings it to me.
Second woman: I know.
First one: How?
Second one: My dog told me.
A three-year-old had been told several times to get ready for bed. The last time his mom told him, she was every insistent. His response was, "Yes, Sir!" Since he was talking to his mother (and she is a woman), it was not expected of him to call her "Sir".
"You would say, 'yes sir,' to a man, I am a lady, and you would say 'Yes Ma'am,' to a lady," Mom said. To quiz him on is lesson; she then asked him, "What would you say to Daddy?"
"Yes Sir!" was the reply
"Then what would you say to Mama?"
"Yes, Ma'am!" he proudly answered.
"Good boy! Now what would you say to Grandma?"
He lit up and said, "Can I have a cookie?"
There are three types of sex in a marriage. The first one is Kitchen Sex. This is when you are newlyweds, and you're still having fun, so you do it anywhere, anytime - but mostly the kitchen.
The second type is Bedroom Sex. This is when you have settled down a bit and probably have kids, so you can't do it anywhere except the bedroom.
The third type of sex is Hallway Sex. This is when you pass each other in the hall and say, ''Screw you.''
But there's also a fourth kind called Courtroom Sex. This is when you are getting a divorce and you try to screw each other in public.
Little Johnny walks into his dad's bedroom and sees him sliding on a condom. His father tries to hide it by bending over, as if to look under the bed.
Little Johnny asks curiously, "What are you doing, Dad?"
His father quickly replies, "I thought I saw a mouse go underneath the bed."
Little Johnny replies, "What are you gonna do -- screw him?"
Woman: Did you open the door for me because I am a lady?
Man: No, I did because I am a gentleman.
Q. What do you call a ginger bread man with one leg?
A. Limp biscuit
Two women, who are dog owners, are arguing which dog is smarter.
First woman: My dog is so smart. Every morning he waits for the paperboy to come around and then he takes a newspaper and brings it to me.
Second woman: I know.
First one: How?
Second one: My dog told me.
A three-year-old had been told several times to get ready for bed. The last time his mom told him, she was every insistent. His response was, "Yes, Sir!" Since he was talking to his mother (and she is a woman), it was not expected of him to call her "Sir".
"You would say, 'yes sir,' to a man, I am a lady, and you would say 'Yes Ma'am,' to a lady," Mom said. To quiz him on is lesson; she then asked him, "What would you say to Daddy?"
"Yes Sir!" was the reply
"Then what would you say to Mama?"
"Yes, Ma'am!" he proudly answered.
"Good boy! Now what would you say to Grandma?"
He lit up and said, "Can I have a cookie?"
There are three types of sex in a marriage. The first one is Kitchen Sex. This is when you are newlyweds, and you're still having fun, so you do it anywhere, anytime - but mostly the kitchen.
The second type is Bedroom Sex. This is when you have settled down a bit and probably have kids, so you can't do it anywhere except the bedroom.
The third type of sex is Hallway Sex. This is when you pass each other in the hall and say, ''Screw you.''
But there's also a fourth kind called Courtroom Sex. This is when you are getting a divorce and you try to screw each other in public.
Little Johnny walks into his dad's bedroom and sees him sliding on a condom. His father tries to hide it by bending over, as if to look under the bed.
Little Johnny asks curiously, "What are you doing, Dad?"
His father quickly replies, "I thought I saw a mouse go underneath the bed."
Little Johnny replies, "What are you gonna do -- screw him?"
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