Jest Jokes...

Two antarcticans were walking in the woods when they came upon some tracks.

The first said, "You know, those look like deer tracks." The other said, "No, silly, those are moose tracks."

They were still arguing about it when a train hit them.



Quick Wit:

A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street.

"But officer." the man began, "I can explain,".

"Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back..."

"But officer, I just wanted to say...."

"And I said to keep quiet! You're going to jail!"

A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Lucky for you that the chief is at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back."

"Don't count on it," answered the fellow in the cell. "I'm the groom."



Have you heard that a company has come out with a new cell phone made just for senior citizens?

It not only has bigger numbers, rotary dial and the best feature; it has less memory.



A Rabbit walks into the bar, goes up to the bartender and says, "I want a cup of coffee.” The bartender says, "We don’t serve coffee here"

So the Rabbit leaves, but when he leaves he sees two friends entering the bar so he joins them. His friends ask for a beer and sandwich but the rabbit says "I wanna cup of coffee"

The bartender says, "We don’t serve coffee here"

So the rabbit leaves again, but he sees two more friends so he joins them in the bar. His friends order a beer and a sandwich but the Rabbit still says, "I want a cup of coffee"

"Look,” says the bartender "we don’t serve coffee here. Now leave or I will nail your ears to the bar!"

So the rabbit leaves, but he yet again sees two more friends and enters the bar.

But this time the rabbit says, "Do you have a hammer?"

"No" replies the bartender

Do you have any nails?"

"No"

"Then I want a cup of coffee"



“Your wife will hit the ceiling when you get home tonight,” said the barfly to his drinking buddy. “Yeah,” said his buddy. “She’s a lousy shot!”



Little Peter was taking his new puppy for a walk when a policeman stopped him.

“Has your dog got a license?” The policeman asked. “Oh, no,” answered Peter.

“He’s not old enough to drive.” (--eesh! The Wizard)