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Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Shopping in Detroit...


Click here for the movie

Click above

Freaky!!


AMAZINGLY ACCURATE! Whatever you do, don't cheat!


CHINESE HOROSCOPE:

THE YEAR OF THE IRON DRAGON, WISHING YOU PROSPERITY AND GOOD FORTUNE IN THE

CHINESE NEW YEAR

FOLLOW THE INSTRUCTIONS - DO NOT CHEAT TAKE 3 MINUTES TRY THIS - IT WILL FREAK YOU OUT.

1st. Get PEN and PAPER

2nd. WHEN CHOOSING NAMES, MAKE SURE THEY ARE REAL PEOPLE THAT YOU ACTUALLY KNOW

3rd. GO WITH YOUR FIRST INSTINCTS !!!!! Very important for good results.

4th. SCROLL DOWN

ONE LINE AT THE TIME. DON`T READ AHEAD, otherwise YOU WILL RUIN THE FUN.

1. On a blank sheet of paper, WRITE NUMBERS 1 through 11 in a COLUMN on the LEFT.

2. BESIDE the NUMBERS 1 & 2,

WRITE DOWN ANY 2 NUMBERS YOU WANT.

DO YOU HAVE A FAVORITE NUMBER?


3. BESIDE the NUMBERS 3 & 7,

WRITE DOWN THE NAMES OF TWO MEMBERS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX.


CAUTION: DO NOT LOOK AHEAD or IT WILL NOT TURN OUT RIGHT

4. WRITE ANYONE'S NAME (like FRIENDS or FAMILY...) next to 4, 5, & 6.

5. WRITE down FOUR SONG TITLES in 8, 9, 10, & 11

6. Finally, MAKE A WISH



ARE YOU READY? HERE IS THE KEY TO THE GAME


1. THE NUMBER of PEOPLE YOU MUST TELL ABOUT THIS GAME is found in SPACE 2

2. THE PERSON IN SPACE 3 IS THE ONE YOU LOVE

3. THE PERSON YOU LIKE but your relationship CANNOT WORK is in SPACE 7

4. YOU CARE MOST about the PERSON you put in SPACE 4

5. THE PERSON YOU NAME IN NUMBER 5 IS THE ONE WHO KNOWS YOU VERY WELL.

6. THE PERSON YOU NAMED IN 6 IS THE YOUR LUCKY STAR

7. THE SONG IN 8 IS THE SONG THAT MATCHES WITH THE PERSON IN NUMBER 3

8. THE TITLE IN 9 IS THE SONG FOR THE PERSON IN 7

9. THE 10TH SPACE IS THE SONG THAT TELLS YOU MOST ABOUT YOUR MIND

10. AND 11 IS THE SONG TELLING HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT LIFE

11. NUMBER 1 IS YOUR LUCKY NUMBER


I went to a party

I went to a party,
And remembered what you said.
You told me not to drink, Mom
So I had a sprite instead.


I felt proud of myself,
The way you said I would,
That I didn't drink and drive,
Though some friends said I should.



I made a healthy choice,
And your advice to me was right,
The party finally ended,
And the kids drove out of sight.



I got into my car,
Sure to get home in one piece,
I never knew what was coming,
Mom Something I expected least.



Now I'm lying on the pavement,
And I hear the policeman say,
The kid that caused this wreck was drunk,
Mom, his voice seems far away.



My own blood's all around me,
As I try hard not to cry.
I can hear the paramedic say,
This girl is going to die.



I'm sure the guy had no idea,
While he was flying high,
Because he chose to drink and drive,
Now I would have to die.



So why do people do it, Mom
Knowing that it ruins lives?
And now the pain is cutting me,
Like a hundred stabbing knives.



Tell sister not to be afraid, Mom
Tell daddy to be brave,
And when I go to heaven,
Put "Mommy 's Girl" on my grave.



Someone should have taught him,
That it's wrong to drink and drive.
Maybe if his parents had, I'd still be alive.
My breath is getting shorter, Mom


I'm getting really scared.
These are my final moments,
And I'm so unprepared.


I wish that you could hold me Mom,
As I lie here and die.
I wish that I could say, "I love you, Mom!"


So I love you and good-bye.


Click here to go to the MADD homepage

Monday, December 28, 2009

Wise Words


Be Wise

Be Wise!The Value of Reason

"The only sovereign you can allow to rule you is reason. Misery, iniquity, and utter destruction lurk in the shadows outside its full light, where half-truths snare the faithful disciples, the deeply feeling believers, the selfless followers. Faith and feelings are the warm marrow of evil. Unlike reason, faith and feelings provide no boundary to limit any delusion, any whim. They are a virulent poison, giving the numbing illusion of moral sanction to every depravity ever hatched. Faith and feelings are the darkness to reason's light. Reason is the very substance of truth itself. The glory that is life is wholly embraced through reason. In rejecting reason, one embraces death."


Be Wise!Be an active listener

The best tip anyone could give is to follow the golden rule. If you do something to someone that does not feel right, it probably wasn't. I don't think there are a lot of bad people, but I do feel that people today do not take the time to get in the habit of following the rule. This leads to many different problems that become bad habits. Just get in the habit of following the golden rule and you will find that issues you had before are not so bad now.

Be Wise!Responsibility

Man has responsibility; not power.

Anonymous

Be Wise!Avoid excessive idling

Shut off engine while waiting for friends and family. Today's vehicles are designed to "warm up" fast, so forget about those long warm-ups on cold winter mornings.


Be Wise!Don't just sell your product, use it!

A market is never saturated with a good product, but it is very quickly saturated with a bad one.

--Henry Ford


Be Wise!Career Advice

Find something that you enjoy doing so much that you'd do it for nothing, and pretty soon you'll be paid more than you can spend.

Be Wise!Try Harder


How many times, as a manager, have you said to your staff, "We have to try harder!" Could we be trying too hard? If you try too hard for something it may lead to the following problems: working harder instead of smarter, unimaginative problem solving, unrealistic goals, self-defeating attitude, and being too critical on yourself. Sometimes trying too hard back fires, because of the unwanted stress created by the above terminology of trying harder. Instead of trying harder, next time try on working smarter.


Jest Jokes....


An optometrist was instructing a new employee on how to charge a customer. “As you are fitting her glasses, if she asks how much they cost, you say ‘$150.’ “If her eyes don’t flutter, say, ‘For the frames. The lenses will be $100.’ “If her eyes still don’t flutter, you add, ‘Each.’”

HYUK!

A doctor got a phone call from one of his colleagues. “We need a fourth for poker,” the voice on the phone said. “I’ll be right over,” replied the doctor. As he was putting on his overcoat, his wife asked, “Is it serious?” “Oh yes, quite serious,” he said gravely. “They’ve had to call in three other doctors as well.”

HYUK!

A businessman finds that his neighbor in the first class cabin of his flight is a parrot. They take off and the flight attendant asks what they would like to drink. "Glenlivet on the rocks with a twist," says the parrot. The businessman orders a coke.

After waiting two or three minutes, the bird starts yelling, "Where's my drink?! Stop fooling around and give me my drink!" The fight attendant runs to him with his glass, leaving the businessman still thirsty. Half an hour later the fight attendant makes a second round. The bird orders another Glenlivet and a Wall Street Journal. The businessman asks for another coke. Again, after a couple of minutes, the bird screams, squawking, "You lazy idiot! Where is my drink?!" The poor woman nearly trips over herself getting the parrot his drink and the newspaper. The businessman still has nothing, and after ten more minutes decides to take his cue from the bird. "Hey! Where's my coke! The service here stinks!"

Out of nowhere the purser, the captain and two passengers grab the businessman and the bird, open the hatch and throw them out of the plane.

At 30,000 feet in the air the two fall side by side and the parrot says to the terrified man, "Wow that took a lot of guts for a guy with no wings."

HYUK!

It's Christmas Eve and mom is busily preparing the last minute decorations in the family room when little Sally say: "Mom, don't forget to put out the treat for Santa next to the fireplace." Distracted, the mom thanks Sally and goes to the kitchen for Santa's treat. Later, when putting her to bed Sally says. "Mom, why did you put a can of Slim-fast next to Santa's treat?" Distracted and anxious to get back downstairs to finish the decorations mom replies. "Daddy is on a diet."

HYUK!

A man put in 10 puns for a pun contest, hoping that at least one of them would win. But sadly, no pun in ten did.


Woo! HOO!!

TRUE or FALSE - YOU DECIDE!



The movie, Some Like It Hot, topped the American Film Institute’s list of the 100 funniest films ever.



U-BETCHA! the 1959 Billy Wilder classic starring Marilyn Monroe, Tony Curtis, and Jack Lemmon. The list was compiled in 2000.

'Some like it hot'






Katy the Kangaroo, Elmo the Elephant, and Newt the Gnu are all cartoon characters from the series, the fabulous animalz.




Nope! They were animated characters created along with Tony the Tiger to compete in a 1952 ad campaign for the job of representing Kellogg’s Sugar Frosted Flakes. Tony and Katy initially tied and were pictured on cereal boxes, but after a year, Tony was declared the sole winner.


Tony The Tiger







The guitar was the first musical instrument on which the Christmas carol “Silent Night” was performed.




Yup. The carol, played on Christmas Eve 1818 at St. Nicholas Church in Oberndorf, Austria, was based on a poem written by assistant pastor Joseph Mohr that had been set to music by church organist Franz Gruber.



Silent Night








Thomas Edison was the first person in the U.S. to put electric lights on a Christmas tree.



Not likely! It was an associate of Thomas Edison, in 1882. Edward Johnson hand-wired 80 small colored bulbs and strung them around a rotating evergreen in the parlor of his New York City home.




The First Electric Light Christmas Tree







We wish you a Merry Christmas" was the first song sung by American astronauts in outer space.




Un-uh. It was "Happy Birthday." It was performed in March 1969 by the astronauts aboard Apollo IX. They were serenading Christopher Kraft, director of NASA space operations, who was at work at the Johnson Space Center.



Apollo 9 astronauts, James A. McDivitt, commander
- David R. Scott, command module pilot - Russell L. Schweickart, lunar module pilot

Hooters Calendar for 2010


Check this out. Great PIX! (NSFW!!!!!)

Click here.


*Thanks, Gary

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Look and Listen


A palindrome reads the same backwards as forwards.... this reads the exact opposite backwards as forwards.... very clever.

This is wonderful. This is only a 1 min. 44 sec. video and it is brilliant. As you listen intently, follow along with the words forward and backward...... Make sure you read as well as listen.

This is a video that was submitted in a contest by a 20 year old. The contest was titled "u @ 50", by AARP . This video won second place. When they showed it, everyone in the room was awe-struck and broke into spontaneous applause. So simple and yet so brilliant. Take a minute and watch it.


*Thanks, Erwin

Michael Jackson is still alive!


It's hard to believe, but we have just recieved proof that Michael Jackson is alive and living in Florida with Elvis!

It's hard to believe, but we have just recieved proof that Michael Jackson is alive and living in Florida with Elvis!
*Thanks, Gary

Silent Monks Sing Halleluiah



*Thanks, Gary

The list of top 10 from the last 4.5 billion years


Click here to visit The Onion


*Thanks, Erwin

Saturday, December 26, 2009

"Boxing Day" - The 4-11


Boxing Day Lineup Boxing Day, December 26th, is a public holiday in the United Kingdom, Australia (excluding South Australia), Canada, New Zealand and countries in the Commonwealth of Nations with a mainly Christian population. It is based on the tradition of giving gifts to the less fortunate members of society. Contemporary Boxing Day in many countries is now a "shopping holiday" associated with after-Christmas sales.

This day is historically England's name for St Stephen's Day - St. Stephen was one of the first Christian martyrs, being stoned to death in Jerusalem around A.D. 34-35 - the 26th December, which is a public holiday in most countries in Europe and many countries around the world with predominantly Christian populations. In the Eastern Orthodox Church, St Stephen's Day is celebrated on the 27th of December, although in Greece the Greek Boxing Day (Synaxis Theotokou, Σύναξις Θεοτόκου) is also celebrated as a public holiday on the 26th of December and is not related to the English version.

In Ireland the Bank Holidays Act 1871 established the feast day of St. Stephen's Day as a non-moveable public holiday on December the 26th, although since partition the name "Boxing Day" is used by the authorities in Northern Ireland and it has become a moveable public holiday in line with the rest of the UK. The Banking and Financial Dealings Act of 1971 established "Boxing Day" as a public holiday in Scotland. In the Australian state of South Australia, December the 26th is a public holiday known as Proclamation Day.

It is usually celebrated on the 26th of December, the day after Christmas Day; however, unlike St Stephen's Day, Boxing Day is not always on the 26th of December, its associated public holiday can be moved to the next weekday if the 26th of December is a Saturday or Sunday. The movement of Boxing Day varies between countries.

Origins
Boxing Day dates back to past centuries when it was the custom for the wealthy to give gifts to employees or to people in a lower social class, most especially to household servants and other service personnel. The name has numerous folk etymologies.

As with Christmas itself, some elements of Boxing Day are also likely related to, and ultimately derived from, the ancient Roman Saturnalia, which also had elements of gift giving and social role reversal.

Date
In the countries that observe this holiday, 26 December is commonly referred to as Boxing Day, no matter what day of the week it occurs. However, in some countries, fixed-date holidays falling on Saturday or Sunday are often observed on the next weekday. Technically, Boxing Day cannot be on a Sunday - that day being the officially recognized day of worship, so traditionally it was the next working day of the week following Christmas Day, (i.e. any day from Monday to Saturday). In recent times this tradition has been either forgotten or ignored, and 26 December is considered by most to be Boxing Day when it falls on a Sunday. 1993 was the last year when 26 December was called Christmas Sunday in the UK; in 1999, the next time the date fell on a Sunday, it was Boxing Day.

If Boxing Day falls on a Saturday, then Monday 28 December is declared a public holiday. In the United Kingdom and some other countries this is accomplished by Royal Proclamation. In some Canadian provinces, Boxing Day is a statutory holiday and is always celebrated on 26 December. As with most statutory holidays in Canada if it falls on a Saturday or Sunday, compensation days are given in the following week.

If Boxing Day falls on a Sunday, then in countries where it is a public holiday the Statutory Holiday is moved to Monday 27 December. In that event, Christmas Day would be on a Saturday, so Tuesday 28 December would be declared a holiday in lieu, that being the next available working day - thus the Boxing Day holiday occurs before the substitute Christmas holiday.

If Christmas Day falls on a Sunday, then Boxing Day is on Monday 26 December, and no Royal Proclamation is required. In such a circumstance, a 'substitute bank holiday in lieu of Christmas Day' is declared for Tuesday 27 December; again with the Boxing Day holiday occurring before the substitute Christmas holiday.

Although the same legislation—the Bank Holidays Act 1871—originally established the Bank Holidays throughout the United Kingdom, the holiday after Christmas was defined as Boxing Day in England and Wales, and the feast day of St. Stephen's Day in Ireland.

In Australia and Canada, Boxing Day is primarily known as a shopping holiday, and a time where stores have sales, often with dramatic price decreases. For many merchants, it has become the day of the year with the greatest revenue. In recent years, this has been expanded to "Boxing Week". While Boxing Day is actually on 26 December, many retailers who hold Boxing Day Sales will run the sales for several days before or after 26 December, often up to New Year's Eve.

In some areas of Canada, particularly in Atlantic Canada and parts of Northern Ontario, most retailers are prohibited by law from opening on Boxing Day. In these cases, any sales specifically scheduled for December 26 are moved to the 27th.
*Wikipedia

--Wizard's Note: And I thought it was the day that all the empty Christmas Boxes were tossed to the curb!

Server Strike!


Yesterday all servers in the U.S. went out on strike in a bid to get more RAM and better CPUs. A spokes person said that the need for better RAM was due to some fool increasing the front-side bus speed. In future, buses will be told to slow down in residential motherboards.


*Thanks, Russel

There are unused icons on your desktop...


There are unused icons on your desktop... - Click here for a larger view!
There are unused icons on your desktop... Click on the image for a larger view!

**The J-Walk Blog
*Thanks, Gary

Friday, December 25, 2009

2010 Contract


After serious & cautious consideration... your contract of friendship has been renewed for the New Year 2010!

It was a very hard decision to make... So try not to screw it up!!!


">My Wish for You in 2010

May peace break into your home and may thieves come to steal your debts.

May the pockets of your jeans become a magnet for $100 bills.

May love stick to your face like Vaseline and may laughter assault your lips!

May happiness slap you across the face and may your tears be that of joy

May the problems you had, forget your home address!


In simple words ............

May 2010 be the best year of your life!!!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!


*Thanks, Russel

Happy Christmas (The War is Over)

Happy Christmas - (The War Is Over)

So this is Christmas.
And what have you done ?
Another year over
and a new one just begun.
And so this is Christmas.
I hope you have fun,
the near and the dear ones,
the old and the young.
A very merry Christmas
and a happy new year.
Let's hope it's a good one
without any fear.

And so this is Christmas
for weak and for strong,
for rich and the poor ones.
The road is so long.
And so happy Christmas
for black and for white,
for yellow and red ones.
Let's stop all the fight.
A very merry Christmas
and a happy new year.
Let's hope it's a good one
without any fear.

So this is Christmas.
And what have we done ?
Another year over
and a new one just begun.
And so happy Christmas.
We hope you have fun,
the near and the dear ones,
the old and the young.
A very merry Christmas
and a happy new year.
Let's hope it's a good one
without any fear.
War is over if you want it

*Words by John Lennon

Thursday, December 24, 2009

12 Days of Christmas - Bob and Doug McKenzie - Ya hosers!


reditt.com: what's new online!


reditt.com: what's new online!
*Thanks, Calvin

THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS


Santa, and his reindeer

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,

In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there;

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads;

And mamma in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled down for a long winter's nap,

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the window I flew like a flash,

Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow

Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below,

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.

More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!

On, Comet! on Cupid! on, Donder and Blitzen!

To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!

Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,

So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,

With the sleigh full of toys, and St. Nicholas too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.

As I drew in my hand, and was turning around,

Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound.

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,

And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow;

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

That shook, when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,

"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night."

*by Clement Clarke Moore
or Henry Livingston

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

12 things computer users should fear in 2010 - MSNBC.com


1. E-mail attachments are back

2. Anti-virus products less effective

3. Fake anti-virus software

4. Social networking

5. Botnets

6. Spam

7. Finally, Apple gets respect - from cybercriminals

8. Cell phones

9. SEO poisoning

10. WINDOWS 7

11. URL shorteners

12. Gumblar

Click here to read all about them.


*Thanks, Bright Eyes!

Short Letter To Santa


A small boy wrote to Santa Claus, "Send me a brother".



Santa wrote back, "Send me your mother"...

La Presse en Rose


La Presse en Rose Support decriminalisation of Homosexuality at UN! Bulletin


Posted by Maurizio Cecconi -->A proposed anti-gay law could make Uganda perhaps the most dangerous place for homosexuals and drive the gays of Uganda further underground. In a rare interview, the first of its kind with a newspaper journalist, a lesbian told Saturday Monitor’s Rodney Muhumuza why she is very scared.<--

[ A few Sundays ago ], Val Kalende listened quietly as her pastor’s sermon digressed into a soft tirade against homosexuals. “We may even have one in our midst,” the cleric told a congregation of about 50 born-again Christians.

If Ms Kalende did not know her pastor to be an honourable man, a father figure, his sudden anti-gay remarks would have left her shifting uncomfortably in her chair, wondering if those dreaded words were meant for her.

In the end, the woman who also serves as a minister, regularly taking her place on the worship team at her church of eight months, chose to let it go. It would not be her last time there.

Ms Kalende’s chosen place of worship is a small church somewhere in Zana, in Wakiso, not too far from her Namasuba house, past a stage for motorcyclists who have made it a habit to ask if she is a man or a woman.

Ms Kalende’s standard attire --- she is comfortable in a pair of denim jeans and does not wear skirts at all --- turned her into a favourite target for the boda-boda cyclists, once upsetting her so deeply that she had to report her tormentors to the authorities.

On the afternoon I met Ms Kalende, 27, she had just returned from attending service. The television in her living room was tuned to a station named Top, a Christian broadcaster, and a pastor was wedding heterosexual couples as elated witnesses chanted loudly in the background.

As she readied herself for a new conversation, Ms Kalende grabbed the remote control to reduce the volume, creating artificial silence that would be broken by the occasional sound of cutlery dropped in a kitchen sink.

A teenage girl, a relative of Ms Kalende, was doing the dishes as some children lazed around the house. Then Ms Kalende headed for the door, leading the way to her veranda, away from the children she considered too young to know she was gay, for the sake of children she wanted to protect.

In a narration of the kinds of people she was not too comfortable around, Ms Kalende’s account would include inquisitive children, illiterate motorcyclists, gossipy parishioners, bigoted employers and, most recently, a lawmaker named David Bahati. “My first reaction was, ‘Who is Bahati?’ He is the last person I knew,” Ms Kalende said, launching into a decidedly personal explanation for why, “for the first time, I am very scared”.

In October, Ndorwa West MP Bahati brought an anti-gay law to the House, proposing in his document a new felony called “aggravated homosexuality”, committed when the offender has sex with a person who is disabled or underage, or when there is HIV transmission. The crime should attract the death penalty, he proposed, while consenting homosexuals should be imprisoned for life.

The proposed law, which has the tacit approval of President Museveni, would also penalise a third party for failing to report homosexual activity, as well as criminalise the actions of a reporter who, for example, interviews a gay couple.

Although Mr Bahati said he was not in a hate campaign, he could not explain the lack of facts to back his case --- the proposed law seeks to improve on the penalties prescribed in the Penal Code, which already criminalises homosexuality --- or provide evidence to back claims that European gays were recruiting in Uganda.

In a country where homosexuality is still taboo, the bill had excited the homophobic sentiments of many Ugandans, and it also looked set to shrug off human rights concerns. As the Canadian government called the law “vile and hateful”, and as the Swedish government threatened to cut aid over a law a minister described as “appalling”, the authorities in Kampala were saying they would push for the introduction of legislation that would make Uganda one of the most dangerous places for gay people.

Ms Kalende has been openly gay since 2002, several years before she became a rights activist with the group Freedom and Roam-Uganda, six years before she met the woman she calls the love of her life.


First meeting
In October 2009, around the time Mr Bahati was preparing his anti-homosexuality law, Ms Kalende’s partner, a 25-year-old woman she did not wish to name, left for the United States, where she is now a student and the regular sender of hopeful messages to a partner living thousands of miles away.

The couple met in November 2008, one openly gay and the other closeted, but soon found the connection that inspired them to exchange rings in a recent private ceremony. They enjoyed each other’s company, even going for an HIV test together.

Ms Kalende, smiling wryly, recalled being asked by a counsellor if her partner had been using a condom.
“In my mind, I was like, ‘Dude?’ I felt useless. He was giving me the wrong kind of counselling. I wanted to tell him: 'The lady you see there is my girlfriend,'" she said.

These days, a typical telephone conversation between the two lovers, which happens almost daily, ends with Ms Kalende saying something like this: “I love you.” Before breaking into tears, the person on the other side answers back: “I love you, baby.”

Feeling strong
In the intimate scheme of things, Ms Kalende plays the stronger partner, encouraging her lover, whom she affectionately calls Mimi, to be brave and allaying her concerns about safety in Uganda. “When she starts to cry, I don’t cry,” Ms Kalende said. “I want to be stronger than she is. But I feel bad, of course. She is really scared about what’s going on at home.”

The couple met through a mutual friend, with Ms Kalende as the more enthusiastic partner, until their relationship grew strong enough for them to start sharing a house. “She is a very beautiful woman,” Ms Kalende said.

“It’s about her heart, her beauty, and the fact that we share the same faith.” Ms Kalende keeps in her wallet a picture from October 2009, taken days before her partner left Uganda.

They are looking straight in the camera, no smiles, with Ms Kalende’s partner extending an arm over her lover to create the only sign of intimacy between them. It is a beautiful, if cheerless, photograph, yet one that captures the character of a relationship that is steeped in trust, respect and commitment.

“Before I met her, she was already in the process of leaving,” Ms Kalende said. “I couldn’t stop her, and I think that was the best for her. She wasn’t my first partner, but I know that she is the last…I was her first serious partner.”

In press conferences hastily called to condemn the gays of Uganda, Ethics Minister Nsaba Buturo has been revving up the rhetoric, telling reporters that homosexuals can “forget about human rights”. In a recent press briefing, Dr Buturo asked homosexuals to “leave us alone”.

Offensive statement
It is the kind of statement that offends Ms Kalende, who professes love for Uganda but retains a keen understanding of her society.
“I love my country, and that means a lot to me,” she said. “But this bill is not about homosexuality. It affects everyone; my pastor, my friends.

It’s not about us gays…Homosexuality is not about sodomising young boys. What about relationships among people who are not hurting anyone?”
It was Ms Kalende’s way of saying that homosexuals have people in their lives who treasure them, men and women who may not let their silent aversion to gays determine the course of their friendships.
But it is difficult to predict how loved ones would react to a revelation that a daughter or sister is gay, Ms Kalende said.

“My partner is not like me,” Ms Kalende, the only child of her father and mother, offered. “She’s not yet brave enough to be open, because she doesn’t want her family to know. I can’t approach my mother-in-law and tell her I am in love with her daughter. It would give her a heart attack.”

When Ms Kalende agreed to talk to a journalist about how the proposed law made her feel, she first sought the consent of her partner.
She said yes, but with the caveat that “you don’t put me out there”. Before she left Uganda, Ms Kalende’s partner had sought to convince her lover to go slow with her activism, to keep a low profile, to just hang in there. It was the kind of advice Ms Kalende was always reluctant to accept.

But midway through her interview with Saturday Monitor, Ms Kalende seemed to remember her lover’s words, asking: “How is this [interview] going to help me?” Then, moments later, she found her rhythm, saying firmly that “she was doing it for the whole LGBT [lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender] community”.

Necessary law?
Mr Bahati’s proposed law, the human rights lawyer Ladislaus Rwakafuuzi has noted, is “not needed” in Uganda. Yet few people doubt the bill would be passed without much opposition.

Already, Speaker Edward Sekandi has spoken out to say Uganda should do whatever is necessary “to stop” homosexual relationships in Uganda.
If passed in its current shape, the law would drive Ugandan homosexuals --- there are no reliable figures on their numbers, and most gays appear in public wearing masks --- further underground.

In one of those moments when Ms Kalende would stop to give a thoughtful response, she came across as resigned to a destiny she had no way of foretelling. “We’ve never been through this,” she said, preparing to ask a question for which she would get no answer.

“Even with the existing law, things have never been this serious. I don’t know if things will ever be normal for us. Tell me, what will happen to us?”

*Original Article

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