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Friday, August 31, 2007

The Wizard is Back!


That's Me! The Wizard of 'OZ'!!!!!

Looks like my ratings have slippped a bit! Going to have to make an effort to keep things interesting! Have a great Long Weekend!

Yours,

--The Wizard


TRUE or FALSE?


True or False?


Robin Hood and his Merry Men were originally called Robin and the 7 Hoods.





FALSE! Robin and the 7 Hoods is a 1964 “Rat Pack” movie starring Dean Martin, Frank Sinatra, Sammy Davis Jr., Bing Crosby, and Peter Falk. The film was produced by Sinatra and directed by Gordon Douglas, and it features Grammy- and Oscar-nominated music.

The Rat Pack


True or False?


Jim Carrey is related to Jerry Lewis.





FALSE! Though Carrey was influenced by Lewis’s comedic style, the closest he got to being a relation was impersonating him as a skit performer on TV’s In Living Color. James Eugene Carrey was born in Canada in 1962, and appeared in films such as Earth Girls Are Easy and Peggy Sue Got Married before getting his big break on In Living Color, courtesy of the Wayans brothers.

Jim Carey


True or False?


Mel Tormé was the voice for Foghorn Leghorn, Woody Woodpecker, and the Tasmanian Devil.





FALSE! Mel Blanc voiced them all. Blanc, born in San Francisco in 1908, was considered one of the great voice artists in American history, having loaned his vocal chords to about 400 cartoon, radio, TV, and movie characters. Other cartoon characters include Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Speedy Gonzalez, Barney Rubble, Dino the Dinosaur, the Road Runner, Porky the Pig, Marvin the Martian, and Pepé Le Pew.

Mel Blanc and his beloved characters!


True or False?


Noah’s Ark had a single window.







TRUE! After cruising around in his floating zoo for many weeks, Noah opened the ark’s sole window and sent a raven and a dove to find dry land. After several tries, the dove returned with an olive leaf in its beak, signaling that land was nearby.




Modern Noah's Ark


True or False?


Disneyland’s street address is 667 Dark Avenue.





FALSE! Disneyland is located at 1313 S. Harbor Boulevard in Anaheim, California. The 667 Dark Avenue address is one used in the Lemony Snicket book series (A Series of Unfortunate Events), which recounts the plights of three unfortunate orphans named Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire. The address first occurs in The Ersatz Elevator, the sixth book of the series, when the orphans find themselves living in the penthouse at 667 Dark Avenue after being placed in the care of a couple named Jerome and Esmé Squalor. Though the building has more than 60 floors, its elevator shafts are sans elevators, hence the title of the book.

Disneyland Worker
Disneyland Worker - I wanna go to Disneyland!

For those difficult people in your life....


Grater-Paper

Grater-Paper

The Confused Husband


A husband in his back yard is trying to fly a kite. He throws the kite up in the air, the wind catches it for a few seconds; then it comes crashing back down. He tries this a few more times with no success.

All the while his wife is watching from the kitchen window, muttering to herself how men need to be told how to do everything.

She opens the window and yells to her husband, "You need more tail."

The man turns with a confused look on his face and says, "Make up your mind. Last night, you told me to go fly a kite."


Divorce - Polish Style!


A Polish guy married a Canadian girl after he had been in Canada a year or so and, although his English was far from perfect, they got on very well. Until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him- "very quick. " The lawyer said that the speed for getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances and asked him the following questions:

LAWYER: Have you any grounds?

POLISH GUY: JA, JA, an acre and half and a nice little home with 3 bedrooms.

LAWYER "No," I mean what is the foundation of this case?"

POLISH GUY: "It is made of concrete, brick and mortar," he responded.

LAWYER: "Does either of you have a real grudge?"

POLISH GUY: "No," he replied, "We have a two-car carport and have never really needed one."

LAWYER: "I mean, What are your relations like?"

POLISH GUY: "All my relations are in Poland."

LAWYER: "Is there any infidelity in your marriage?"

POLISH GUY: "Yes, we have hi fidelity stereo set & DVD player with 6.1 sound. We don't necessarily like the music, but the answer to your questions is yes."

LAWYER: No, I mean Does your wife beat you up?

POLISH GUY: No, I'm always up before her.

LAWYER: Why do you want this divorce?

POLISH GUY: She going to kill me.

LAWYER: What makes you think that?

POLISH GUY: I got proof.

LAWYER: What kind of proof?

POLISH GUY: She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at the drug store and put on shelf in bathroom. I can read -- it says, "Polish Remover."


My Kind of Angel!


My kind of Angel

The Paper-less Toilet
Have a lick. Save a Tree!


Paperless Toilet

Hey Buddy... I wanna help ya!


Money
Money

It can buy a house
house
But not a home
Money

It can buy a clock
Clock
But not time
Money

It can buy you a position
Money

But not respect
Money

It can buy you a bed
Bed
But not sleep
Money

It can buy you a book
Bed
But not knowledge
Money

It can buy you medicine
Medicine
But not health
Money

It can buy you blood
Blood
But not life
Money

So you see money isn't everything
Money

And it often causes pain and suffering
Money

I tell you this because I am your friend
Money

And as your friend I want to
Money

Take away your pain and suffering!!

So....
Money

Send me all your money
Money

And I will suffer for you!

Cash only please

Top 10 signs of a dysfunctional family...


10. New bill to ban assault weapons specifically mentions your family.

9. Your vacations are planned through AA instead of AAA.

8. Your mother and your pre-teen sister always fighting over the last beer.

7. In the middle of family reunion, FBI cuts power to ranch.

6. Bikers next door always complaining about the noise.

5. Your new little sister is named after a famous serial killer.

4. Your son informs you he doesn't care to be your cellmate anymore.

3. You have to buy separate Mother's Day cards for each of Mom's personalities.

2. Family discussions usually begin with, "Putthegundown."

1. Thanksgiving Dinner consists of Wild Turkey instead of roast turkey.


How Many People Have YOU Been Exposed To?


The first number is the Number of Sexual Partners.
If each of your partners has had only the same number of partners as you had at the time you had sex. The second number is the Number of People You Are Exposed to:



SE Chart

Sexual Exposure Chart


Explanation of Chart

For this calculation, we assume that each time you had a new partner, they had only had as many partners as you had. So when you had your first, we assume you were his first. You now have one person who has only had you as a partner. Add to that a second partner who is in the same situation as you--only having had one prior partner. Now you are exposed to your first, your second, plus your second's first. Then bring in a third who is in the same situation as you. You are now exposed to your prior partners plus your third's first partner, your third's second partner, and now your third's second partner's first partner. See how it works? A little sex goes a long way!


Who said this?


"I believe that to have a friend,
a man must be one.

That all men are created equal
and that everyone has within himself
the power to make this a better world.

That God put the firewood there
but that every man
must gather and light it himself.

In being prepared
physically, mentally, and morally
to fight when necessary
for that which is right.

That a man should make the most
of what equipment he has.

That 'This government,
of the people, by the people
and for the people'
shall live always.

That men should live by
the rule of what is best
for the greatest number.

That sooner or later...
somewhere...somehow...
we must settle with the world
and make payment for what we have taken.

That all things change but truth,
and that truth alone, lives on forever.

In my Creator, my country, my fellow man."

Click here to find out who said this.

Need a smile????


Smile!!!!

Smile!!

Smile!!!