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Wednesday, May 31, 2006

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Recently Unearthed E-Mail Reveals What Life Was Like In 1995


Found email KNOXVILLE, TN—A 1995 e-mail extracted from the hard drive of a recently unearthed Compaq desktop PC offers a tantalizing glimpse into the day-to-day life of a primitive Internet society, said the archaeologists responsible for its discovery.

"We're very excited by this find, because only by understanding our e-mail past can we hope to understand our e-mail present and future," said Northwestern University archaeology professor Lane Caspari, who has been leading the dig through the equipment storage area of a Knoxville-area credit union since late April, on Tuesday. "The discovery also sheds new light on the 1990s—an era we know very little about."

Written by a "scully666@compuserve.com" and addressed to a "makincopeez@prodigy.net," the writer expresses the ancient equivalent of boredom, asks the receiver about his or her status in their primeval office environment, then refers to the act of sending the e-mail itself.

"Nothing going on," begins the e-mail. "What's up with you? Are you going to Mike's b-day thing on Friday? I'm thinking about it. I might go, but I'm not sure yet."

The e-mail continues, "Let me know if you get this e-mail twice. I'm still trying to learn the system. I think the managers know when we're on the Net, so I'll stay away from the web surfing and check my e-mail only once a day."

The e-mail is signed only "K." It contains no subject line.

"It shows that these forgotten people of the '90s had many of the same concerns as modern man, such as b-days, and slow periods at work," Caspari said. "The presence of the archaic slang verbalization 'what's up' appears to indicate that they cared about the immediate welfare of others in their closely knit community, much as we do today."



--more--
*The Onion

Bad Stained Glass Window...


seen in a Catholic Church...

Bad Stained Glass Window...seen in a Catholic Church...

A BLOND CALLS 911 ......


on her cell phone to report that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher: "They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!" she cries.

The dispatcher says, "Stay calm. An officer is on the way." A few minutes later, the officer radios in. "Disregard," he says. "She got in the back seat by mistake."


You Know your in SO-CAL* when...


1. Your coworker has 8 body piercings and none are visible.

2. You make over $250,000 and still can't afford a house.

3. You take a bus and are shocked at 2 people carrying on a conversation in English.

4. Your child's 3rd grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, & is named Breeze.

5. You can't remember...is pot illegal?

6. You've been to more than one baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.

7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown and can taste the difference between Sumatra and Ethiopian.

8. You also know which Brentwood restaurant serves the freshest arugula.

9. A really great parking space can move you to tears.

10. A low speed pursuit will interrupt ANY TV broadcast.

11. Gas cost 75 cents per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.

12. A man gets on the bus in full leather regalia and crotchless chaps. You don't even notice.

13. A woman gets on the bus with live poultry. You don't even notice.

14. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks wearing the baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney IS George Clooney.

15. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.

16. The gym is packed at 3 pm ....on a work day.

17. Your hairdresser is straight, your plumber is gay, the woman who delivers your mail is into BDSM, and your Mary Kay rep is a guy in drag.

18. It's sprinkling and there's a report on every news station about "STORM WATCH 99".

19. You have to leave the big company meeting early because Billy Blanks himself is teaching the 4:00 PM Tae Bo class.

20. Your paperboy has a two-picture deal.

21. The three hour traffic jam you just sat through wasn't caused by a horrific nine-car Freeway pileup, but by everyone slowing to rubberneck at a lost shoe laying on the shoulder.

22. The weatherman talks about the weather in other parts of the country, as if we really care.

23. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cell phones or pagers.

24. It's sprinkling outside, so you leave for work an hour or two early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.

25. You AND your dog have therapists.


*Southern California

Bank Robbery


I don't know if it's true or not but it's good for a laugh! This is just too funny not to share. Excerpted from an article which appeared in the Dublin Times about a bank robbery on March 2,1999:

Once inside the bank shortly after midnight, their efforts at disabling the internal security system got underway immediately. The robbers, who expected to find one or two large safes filled with cash and valuables, were surprised to see hundreds of smaller safes scattered throughout the bank. The robbers cracked the first safe's combination, and inside they found only a bowl of pudding.

As recorded on the bank's audio tape system, one robber said, "At least we'll have a bit to eat." The robbers opened up a second safe, and it also contained nothing but pudding. The process continued until all the safes were opened. They found not one pound sterling, a diamond, or an ounce of gold. Instead, all the safes contained covered bowls of pudding. Disappointed, the robbers made a quiet exit, each leaving with nothing more than a queasy, uncomfortably full stomach. The newspaper headline read:

IRELAND'S LARGEST SPERM BANK ROBBED EARLY THIS MORNING


Baby born with 28 year old sperm
Baby born with 28 year-old sperm

Fact or Crap?


Fact or Crap?


Neil Armstrong was the last American to speak on the moon.





CRAP! The first words spoken on the moon were by Neil Armstrong. Not many people know that the last words were spoken by Commander Eugene Cernan, on the Apollo 17 mission, December 11, 1972: “America’s challenge of today has forged man’s destiny of tomorrow.”


Neil Armstrong

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

DHS

DHS

Click Above.

*Thanks, Ken

Creative Johns


Creative John

Creative John

Creative John

Creative John

Creative John

Creative John

Creative John

Creative John

Creative John

Creative John

Creative John

Creative John

Creative John

*Thanks, Vlad!

Fact or Crap?


Fact or Crap?


A minimum deposit of approximately $700,000 is required to open a Swiss bank account.





CRAP! All you need is 100,000 Swiss francs—or approximately $80,000. Despite what movies suggest, Swiss bank accounts are neither fishy nor illegal. But they do offer unparalleled security and privacy.

Swiss Francs

Ben Foster


Ben Foster (Los Angeles, California) He may have one of the smallest roles in “X-Men: The Last Stand,” but twenty-five year-old, five foot, Boston native Ben Foster, at the same time, has one of the most memorable.

In the third installment of “X-Men,” five foot, nine inch, Ben Foster climbs into the wings of Warren Worthington III aka Angel.

Foster plays the son of the head of the FDA, the son of the man who has helped discover a ‘cure’ for all mutants.

“My father,” says Foster, whose perfectly sculpted body is shown for all its glory in this “X-Men,” about his father in the movie, “is torn between two worlds. He sees his son, whom he thinks is suffering, and wants to help him become human, but his son, me, I don’t want to change. I am happy with my wings.”

It’s hard not to think of the “X-Men” mutants without thinking of a gay analogy. If someone who were gay could change to become straight, would they want to? “This movie produces one of the biggest gay analogies I can think of on the big screen. It’s certainly not meant to be a preachy movie, but it might help open some people’s minds, who are not yet open,” says Foster.

“My character is very adamant about not changing,” reveals Foster, whose character is the first mutant to be brought into the facility to undergo the ‘change,’ (to lose his powers and become human).

What got Foster, and his younger brother, Jon, (who was last seen on the big screen in the film “The Door In The Floor,” the adaptation of John Irving’s “A Widow For One Year”), in the movie business?

“Though we were born in Boston, we moved to Iowa when we were young and in the town we lived there were four community theaters. There was pretty much nothing else to do than act.”

The boys’ good looks, stunning looks, actually, couldn’t have hurt their chances getting the heartthrob roles in each production they tried out for.

“I wrote, starred in and directed my first play when I was twelve,” laughs Foster.

Although he wouldn’t suggest dropping out of high school to most, he did. And at sixteen moved to Los Angeles and almost immediately got a job in the Disney Channel show “Flash Forward.”

Foster’s first big screen starring role was in the teen romantic comedy “Get Over It,” which incidentally is the first movie for which I interviewed the budding star.

It shouldn’t be long before Foster, who will next be seen in a starring role in “Alpha Dog,” becomes a household name, before he is not known for just his supporting roles in classic television shows such as “Six Feet Under” (where he played Russell Corwin, the boyfriend of Claire Fisher), or “Boston Public” or “Freaks & Geeks.”

While the producers of “X-Men 3” allege that this is the end of the line in the series, don’t count out a fourth installment, with Angel returning as one of the most popular mutants. If you stay in your seat at the theater, until the very last credit roles in “X-Men 3,” you will see why there may be much bigger heights to which this Angel will be flying.

If you’re in the mood to check out more of Ben Foster’s work, after seeing him in “X-Men: The Last Stand,” try “Hostage,” the 2005 movie, in which he plays a vicious teen kidnapper, opposite Bruce Willis, or almost any episode of Season 3 or 4 of “Six Feet Under,” where you can find him at his finest.



by Tim Nason, Special to 365Gay.com

Mother knows best

Tide

Dear Tide:


I am writing to say what an excellent product you have! I've used it all of my married life, as my Mom always told me it was the best. Now that I am in my fifties I find it even better! In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. My inconsiderate and uncaring husband started to belittle me about how clumsy I was, and generally started becoming a pain in the neck. One thing led to another and somehow I ended up with his blood on my new white blouse!

I grabbed my bottle of Tide with bleach alternative, and to my surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains came out! In fact, the stains came out so well the detectives who came by yesterday told me that the DNA tests on my blouse were negative and then my attorney called and said that I was no longer considered a suspect in the disappearance of my husband.

What a relief! Going through menopause is bad enough without being a murder suspect! I thank you, once again, for having a great product!

Well, gotta go, have to write to the Hefty bag people.Hefty Bags


*Thanks, Ken

The Pantyhose Quiz


Q: How many animals can you fit into a pair of pantyhose?

Now, think about it......

Ready?

Pantyhose


Answer:

10 little piggies
piggiespiggiespiggiespiggiespiggiespiggiespiggiespiggiespiggiespiggies


2 calves,
CalfCalf


1 ass,
Donkey


and an unknown number of hares.
HareHareQuestion mark


Now I bet you didn't know that


*Thanks, Ken

Three Parrots down the chute...


3 Parrots

*Thanks, Ken

Series Finale Of Will & Grace Ends Eight-Year Truce Between Gay, Straight Communities


Cast of Will and Grace LOS ANGELES—Widespread violence and riots have broken out across the U.S. since the May 18 airing of the last episode of Will & Grace, the NBC sitcom hailed as the lone common bond between American gays and straights. Relations between the two sides have returned to the hostility that marked the tumultuous period before the show ushered in a tenuous truce eight years ago.

In the nearly two weeks since gay Will and straight Grace ended their televised domestic cohabitation, dozens of vigilante raids on gay bars and nightclubs have been reported, Provincetown, MA announced its secession from the U.S., while skirmishes have broken out at gay–straight border areas along New York's Chelsea neighborhood and the Castro district of San Francisco. And Monday, openly gay congressman Barney Frank was shot and killed on the steps of the Capitol.

"Straight men and women have reverted to their stereotypical view of gays, painting them as two-dimensional caricatures of either uptight, impeccably dressed neat-freaks, or shallow, flamboyant, sex-crazed maniacs," said Neil Giuliano, president of the Gay And Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation.

--more--

*The Onion

Monday, May 29, 2006

SPAM you never get...


SPAM you never get...

Click on the image to see a larger picture. You may have to zoom in depending on your browser.

Why would someone throw away a perfectly good horse?


Why would someone throw away a perfectly good horse?

The Scratch and Sniff Web Page


Pretty cool! I don't know how it works, but it does!

Click here.


Fact or Crap?


Fact or Crap?


Einstein won the Nobel Prize for Physics for his Theory of Relativity.





CRAP! He won the prize in 1921 for his work on the photoelectric effect. Not bad for a guy who couldn’t get a job after graduating college.

Albert Einstein