Larry gets home late one night and his wife, Linda, and says, "Where in the hell have you been?"
Larry replies, "I was out getting a tattoo."
" A tattoo?" she frowned. "What kind of tattoo did you get?"
"I got a hundred dollar bill on my privates," he said proudly.
" What the hell were you thinking?" she said, shaking her head in disdain. "Why on earth would an accountant get a hundred dollar bill tattooed on his dick?"
"Well, for one, I like to watch my money grow. Two, once in a while I like to play with my money. Three, I like how money feels in my hand. And, lastly, instead of you going out shopping, you can stay right here at home and blow a hundred bucks anytime you want."
Larry is recovering in room 232 at John Hopkins Hospital.