Saturday, June 10, 2006

Twelve Reasons to Smile


Duck Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.



Duck Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.




Duck I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it.
So I said "Implants?" She hit me.



Duck How come we choose from just two people to run for
president and over fifty for Miss America?




Duck A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Wow...that was fun!"



Duck I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!




Duck When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I just "chunky dunk."




Duck Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.




Duck Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over? AMEN, AMEN !!




Duck Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can in prison?



Duck Wouldn't you know it...
Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FATcells live forever.




Duck Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed outside?

*Thanks, Ken

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