Pope John Paul Is Dead -- Vatican

Click above to read about the most influential, active Pope in history

Fact or Crap?

Phosphorus was discovered through the examination of urine.







In his search to change base metals to gold, German alchemist Hennig Brand discovered phosphorus in 1669. He separated a white, waxy material from urine. The material glowed in the dark, so he named it phosphorus, from the Greek term for “light-bearing.” He kept his discovery a secret, and a decade later chemist Robert Boyle made the same discovery.

News of the Weird

* Sales of bottled water for dogs (with prices similar to that for people) are growing, according to a March Wall Street Journal report, spurred not only by sudden concern about vitamin-deficiency but apparent certainty among some owners that their pets find tap water disagreeable and thus are dangerously at risk of dehydration. Of course, veterinarians cited by the Journal are puzzled by this recent rejection of municipal water and suggest it might be a food-bowl-smell problem rather than a new dog generation's preference for fine beverages. (Also, some vets believe dogs prefer the cooler temperature of, say, toilet-bowl water to that of food-bowl water.)

* The Unruly Mob, on Two Continents: On Thika highway in Nairobi, Kenya, in February, frenzied and hungry villagers brawled for access to meat from a baby hippopotamus (about 1,700 lbs.) that had been killed by a passing vehicle. Amidst the kicking and punching, two people were stabbed. Two weeks earlier, in the London suburb of Edmonton, 6,000 Ikea customers rioted, vying for on-sale sofas (80 percent off) and other bargains. Said one customer, "There were people diving on sofas" and "tugging at two different sides of the same sofa and shouting 'mine, mine.'" At least 20 people were taken by ambulance to hospitals.

* Protests: In London, 35 Greenpeace protesters rushed onto the floor of the International Petroleum Exchange in February, intending to paralyze oil trading on the day the Kyoto environmental initiative took effect, but, unexpectedly, the traders turned on them, punching and kicking the protesters until they ran for their lives. (Two were hospitalized.) Said one protester, "I've never seen anyone less amenable to listening to our point of view."

And New Zealand computer technician Simon Oosterman, 24, who says he goes naked everywhere in public to protest society's dependence on the automobile, paused outside an Auckland District courtroom in February, took clothing from his backpack, and got dressed, to step inside to enter his not-guilty plea to an earlier charge of indecent exposure.

* In a suburb of Houston, Tex., in February, a 16-year-old boy was charged with shooting his father, Jacob Hughes, 43, because he mistakenly believed Dad was beating up Mom. However (according to KPRC-TV), sheriff's deputies, after investigating the alleged domestic abuse, said that the couple were merely having robust sex, during which the mother apparently got really loud, which awakened and frightened the boy and his younger brother.

* Dallas, Tex., artist James Sooy, 22, weary of his eyeglasses constantly slipping down his nose, had a practical piercing done in December, inserting a bar through the upper bridge of his nose and having his prescription lenses affixed to it. Sooy seemed to believe there was money to be made with the idea, but an optometrist interviewed by the Houston Chronicle said prescriptions would be harder to adjust "if you have a hole in your face," and a Houston body-modification technician said work like Sooy's would require a longer-than-normal healing time.

* Matthew Porter, 25, was arrested on the Bear Creek Park Frisbee Golf Course in the Dallas suburb of Grapevine, Tex., in February, and charged with possession of marijuana after a police officer said he smelled dope in a group of men that included Porter. Porter had no marijuana on him at the time, but while the officer was checking the men's identification, Porter's Labrador retriever, J.D., emerged from an adjacent pond, apparently having obediently (though unwisely) "fetched" a plastic bag containing 4 grams of marijuana.

* Testicles in the News: In February, Amanda Monti, 24, of Birkenhead, England, was sentenced to 30 months in jail for ripping off one of her ex-boyfriend's testicles with her bare hands in a rage over his refusal to have sex. (According to witnesses, Monti briefly hid the testicle in her mouth, but a friend retrieved it and handed it back to the man, saying, "That's yours.") Also in February, Welsh rugby fan Geoff Huish, 26, was so certain Wales would lose to England that he told club patrons in Caerphilly that he'd "cut [his] balls off" if Wales won. Immediatey following Wales's 11-9 victory, Huish went home, fulfilled his promise, and walked, gingerly, back to the club to show that he was a "man" of his word.

© Chuck Shepherd

Fact or Crap?

A stainless steel bowl is best for whipping egg whites into a stable, fluffy mass.







Copper bowls work best, because they contain copper ions, some of which get mixed into the egg whites as they are whipped. The ions form a yellow complex with conalbumin, a protein found in eggs, a combination that is stronger than the egg protein by itself. Thus, egg whites whipped in a copper bowl are less likely to become over beaten, which often produces a lumpy mess.

The Pool Boy

Click above to "Play with the 'Pool Boy'"

Lost Dog

Bush & Bin-Laden

Bush and Osama decided to settle the war once and for all.

They sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with one dog fight.

They would have 5 years to breed the best fighting dog in the world and whichever side's dog won would be entitled to dominate the world.

Osama found the biggest, meanest Doberman and Rottweiler female dogs in the world and bred them with the meanest Siberian wolves. They selected only the biggest and strongest puppy from the litter, and removed his siblings, which gave him all the milk.

After 5 years, they came up with the biggest, meanest dog the world had ever seen.
Its cage needed steel bars that were thick and nobody could get near it.

When the day came for the dog fight, Bush showed up with a weird looking animal. It was a 9 foot long Dachshund.

Everyone felt sorry for Bush because there was no way that this dog could possibly last 10 seconds with the Afghanistani dog.

When the cages were opened up, the Dachshund came out of it's cage, and slowly waddled over towards Osama's dog.

Osama's dog snarled and leaped out of its cage and charged the American Dachshund ---But when it got close enough to bite, the Dachshund opened its mouth and consumed Osama's dog in one bite. There was nothing left of his dog at all.

Osama came up to Bush, shaking his head in disbelief, "We don't understand how this could have happened. We had our best people working for 5 years with the meanest Doberman and Rottweiler female dogs in the world and the biggest, meanest Siberian wolves.

"That's nothing", said Bush, "We had Michael Jackson's plastic surgeons working for 5 years to make that alligator look like a wiener dog."


GOD BLESS AMERICA!

*Auntie 'M'

3 Bullets

A woman, pregnant with triplets, was walking down the street when a masked robber ran out of a local bank, and shot her three times in the stomach.

Luckily the babies were okay. The surgeon decided to leave the bullets in, because it was too risky to operate.

She gave birth to two healthy daughters, and a very healthy son.

All was fine for 16 years... and then one daughter walked into her Mom's room in tears.

"What's wrong?" asked the mother. "I was taking a tinkle and this bullet came out!" replied the daughter.

The mother told her it was okay, and explained what happened 16 years ago.

About a week later, the second daughter walked into the room in tears...

"Mom, I was taking a tinkle and this bullet came out."

Again, the mother told her not to worry, and explained what happened 16 years ago.

About a week after this, her son walked into the room in tears.

"It's okay", said the Mom, "I know what happened, you were taking a tinkle and a bullet came out."

"No," said the boy, "I was playing with myself and I shot the dog!"

*Auntie 'M'

The Awful Truth - REVEALED!

Office Rage

Forget about "going postal" the real workplace rage is in the office. A British employment agency has discovered that office workers are seething with pent up anger.

More than half of all office staff in the UK say they have become so angry at work they have nearly punched a colleague.

Some 53% of workers have been brought to the brink of violence by "office rage", with loud-mouthed colleagues cited as the main cause.

Malfunctioning computers, excessive workloads and interruptions during telephone conversations were also found to make employees' blood boil.

The research, carried out by recruitment firm Pertemps, found that women were the most likely to nearly resort to violence while their male colleagues were more inclined to shout.

Pertemps chairman Tim Watts said: "The latest annual British Crime Survey reveals 1.3 million incidents of violence at work, involving 604,000 workers.

Regular consultation between employers and employees to identify potential areas of conflict is vital to prevent workers being pushed over the edge, he added.

The study, based on research among 450 office workers across Britain, found that 64% of those surveyed get angry at colleagues shouting across the office and talking over people at meetings.

IT problems caused 53% to lose their temper, followed by excessive workloads (51%) and interruptions while on the phone (37%).

Some 60% lost their temper regularly at work but although men shouted more than women (67% compared with 46%), women had the strongest desire to hit people who had upset them (51% compared with 39%).

Asked how they coped with anger, nearly a third of respondents (31%) said they ignored the person responsible.

Twenty per cent, the majority of whom were women, made a cup of tea, while 15% cursed under their breath.

Eight per cent admitted to hitting their malfunctioning computer.

The survey found that productivity is affected when staff are in a bad mood with 74% saying they did not work as well while angry.

Fifteen per cent said they worked slower when their boss was angry for fear of making a mistake.

Anger was said to have a detrimental effect on morale by 81% of respondents while 47% said longer hours, more responsibility and tighter deadlines had led to more cases of office rage in the last couple of years.

by John Bulloch, 365Gay.com Health

Sin City

Starring: Bruce Willis, Mickey Rourke,
Director: Robert Rodriguez
Fax: 2005, drama

Review by Brent Ko, 365Gay.com

First, watching Sin City is a bit like going swimming - don't eat before you dive in. Second, Sin City is a bit like swimming in a cesspool. Third, don't miss it. Robert Rodriguez' film based on the comic books created by Frank Miller is destined to become a cult classic.

If ever extreme violence could become an art form it is here. Miller resisted attempts to interest him in a filmed version of his comics. But, a tenacious Rodriquez finally convinced him he would stay true to Miller's vision.

He didn't lie.

Filmed in black and white, with only brief flashes of color, everything except for the actors was produced on computer. The result: Sin City really looks like a series of Frank Miller drawings - stylized, rough-hewn and loaded with shadows, spattered blood and severed limbs.

Sin City is a town named Basin City. It is lawless, violent, and steaming with sex. The heroes are hard to distinguish from the criminals and the women are defined by their G-strings and stiletto heels.

The film weaves three stories. With intercuttting and timings out of sequence we are constantly hurled from scene to scene, mutilated corpse to mutilated corpse, bloodbath to bloodbath.

Rough hewn Marv (Mickey Rourke) falls for a platinum hooker named Goldie who ends up dead in his bed, setting in motion a firestorm of search and salvage.

As he hunts down the killer he encounters a serial killer (Elijah Wood) who gives new meaning to oral sex. It's brilliant casting and Wood is creepy as he lobs off the heads of his victims for souvenirs and eats the rest.

Another top piece of casting is Carla Gugino (who played the Mom in Spy Kids) as a lesbian parole officer.

From opening to closing credits this is a film where you want to cover your eyes but can't help peeking at from between your fingers.

Sex Or Smokes?

If its one or the other you might be surprised what people choose...

Most smokers in Europe would find it easier to give up sex for a month than cigarettes and many view even bungee jumping or parachuting as less difficult than kicking the habit.

A survey of more than 2,000 smokers shows just how addictive nicotine is when 62 percent of smokers in six European countries said they felt the New Year is a good time to quit, but only three percent used it as a trigger to stop.

"In every single country the vast majority of smokers want to stop," says Dr Alex Bobak, of the anti-smoking group SCAPE.

"The motivation is there but they don't go about it in the right way."

Nearly 80 percent of British smokers, almost 70 percent in the Netherlands, France and Germany and more than 55 percent in the Belgium and Spain would forgo sex rather than live without cigarettes for a month.

Although 60 percent of European smokers said they would try to quit if it affected their love life, 35 percent of smokers admitted they have never attempted to stop smoking.

Fear of health problems was the biggest motivator to quit, followed by concerns for their family and the cost of cigarettes but 62 percent who tried to quit began smoking again within a month.

Age

A 60-year-old man went to a doctor for a check-up. The doctor told him, "You're in terrific shape. There's nothing wrong with you. Why, you might live forever; you have the body of a 35-year-old. By the way, how old was your father when he died?"

The 60-year-old responded, "Did I say he was dead?"

The doctor was surprised and asked, "How old is he and is he very active?"

The 60-year-old responded, "Well, he is 82 years old and he still goes skiing three times a season and surfing three times a week during the summer."

The doctor couldn't believe it! So he said, "Well, how old was your grandfather when he died?"

The 60-year-old responded again, "Did I say he was dead?"

The doctor was astonished. He said, "You mean to tell me you are 60 years old and both your father and your grandfather are alive? Is your grandfather very active?"

The 60-year-old said, "He goes skiing at least once a season and surfing once a week during the summer. Not only that," said the patient, "my grandfather is 106 years old, and next week he is getting married again."

The doctor said, "At 106 years why on earth would your grandfather want to get married?"

His patient looked up at the doctor and said, "Did I say he wanted to?"

BURGER KING ANNOUNCES THE 'LEFT-HANDED WHOPPER'!

Left-Handed Whopper ---- Right-Handed Whopper

Today Burger King announced the introduction of a new item to their menu: a "Left-Handed Whopper" specially designed for the 32 million left-handed Americans and 5 million left-handed Canadians.

According to the advertisement, the new whopper includes the same ingredients as the original Whopper (lettuce, tomato, hamburger patty, etc.), but all the condiments are rotated 180 degrees for the benefit of their left-handed customers.

You will always get a right-handed Whopper, unless you request the left-handed one.

Spokespersons at McDonald's and Wendy's think that 'The King' is way out in left field and McDonald's does not intend to introduce the left-handed Big-Mac as that would confuse their workers and would require a major computer systems overhaul. Wendy's spokespeople mentioned that Dave Thomas (Founder) , had once tried the left-handed Frosty, but sales were cool.

Vatican says Pope had suffered heart failure

(CTV.ca News Staff) The Vatican said Friday that Pope John Paul II's condition was very serious, and that hours earlier he had suffered heart failure.

The Pope is now being treated for a high fever caused by a urinary tract infection.

Reports of the Pope's deteriorating health trickled out of Rome earlier Thursday. Shortly after Italian news agencies reported that a sudden drop in the pontiff's blood pressure had prompted doctors to intervene, the Vatican issued an unusually detailed briefing.

Despite the very serious condition of Pope, it was reported that he had had participated in a 6 a.m. mass Friday.

According to his wishes, he is being treated at home rather than in hospital, Vatican spokesperson Joaquin Navarro-Valls said.

The condition was being treated with the "appropriate antibiotic therapy," he added. "The clinical situation is being closely watched by the Vatican medical team treating him."

A crowd of hundreds had gathered to hold vigil beneath the Pope's apartment window overlooking St. Peter's Square.

"There's nothing we can do but pray. We're all upset," Agriculture Minister Giovanni Alemanno told The Associated Press as he milled among the swelling crowd.

Last Rites

The Vatican also confirmed Friday that the ailing 84-year-old pontiff had been given the "Holy Viaticum" -- a communion reserved for those close to death

It is not first time the Pope has been so anointed. In 1981, after a failed attempt on his life, he was also given what was known then as the last rites.

Recalling those days after the Pope was shot, veteran reporter Larry Stout said many were then saying he would never survive.

"Well, he has lasted," Stout said. "And since that time he has probably circled the Earth at least once."

Watching developments from Toronto, Father Thomas Lynch said that love of reaching out to the faithful is one of the Pope's defining characteristics.

"In terms of sitting behind a desk, that was never his strong point. He delegated that to who he considered to be capable people and he went out to meet people."

In the process, John Paul II kissed the ground in 129 countries, becoming in the process the most traveled, public pope in the history of the Church.

Worsening Health

The Pope has had to slow down considerably in recent months, however, as a series of medical setbacks have forced him to curtail his normally packed schedule.

On Wednesday, the Vatican underscored the seriousness of his condition when it confirmed the Pope was being fed through a tube.

Just hours after the pontiff made a brief silent appearance at his apartment window overlooking St. Peter's Square, Navarro-Valls said doctors had inserted a nasal-gastric feeding tube.

It would boost the Pope's strength and aid his "slow and progressive" convalescence, the Vatican spokesperson told reporters.

There are reports difficulty swallowing have contributed to the Pope -- who also suffers from Parkinson's disease as well as crippling knee and hip ailments -- losing 19 kilograms since undergoing a tracheotomy to ease his breathing on Feb. 24.

That was the second time he was admitted to Rome's Gemelli hospital in a month.

Throughout his recovery, the Pope has made repeated efforts to maintain at least part of his public schedule.

Last week, for the first time in his 26-year papacy, the frail pope scaled down Holy Week appearances because of his ailments.

He tried, but failed Sunday to give a blessing to the crowd gathered for Easter Sunday Mass.

The last time he spoke to the public was March 13, shortly before he was discharged from hospital for the second time.

*With reports from CTV News

Take the CTV News Quiz

The Wizard's final score was: 6/10

I did better on this quiz than 40 per cent of those who took it today.

They said it was a good effort.

Now you try. Click below:

Saskatchewan Hot-Tub

*Thanks, Auntie 'M'

Letter To A Bank from an Eighty Year Old

The letter to the bank below is an actual letter that was sent to a bank by a 80 year old woman. The bank manager thought it amusing enough to have it published in the New York Times.


Dear Sir,

I am writing to thank you for bouncing my check with which I endeavored to pay my plumber last month. By my calculations, three seconds must have elapsed between his presenting the check and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to honor it. I refer, of course, to the automatic monthly deposit of my entire salary, an arrangement which, I admit, has been in place for only eight years.

You are to be commended for seizing that brief window of opportunity, the inconvenience caused to your bank. My thankfulness springs from the manner in which this incident has caused me to rethink my errant financial ways.

I noticed that whereas I personally attend to your telephone calls and letters, when I try to contact you, I am confronted by the impersonal, overcharging, prerecorded, faceless entity which your bank has become.

From now on, I, like you, choose only to deal with a flesh-and-blood person. My mortgage and loan repayments will therefore and hereafter no longer be automatic, but will arrive at your bank, by check, addressed personally and confidentially to an employee at your bank whom you must nominate.

Be aware that it is an offense under the Postal Act for any other person to open such an envelope. Please find attached an Application Contact Status which I require your chosen employee to complete.

I am sorry it runs to eight pages, but in order that I know as much about him or her, I have no alternative.

Please note that all copies of his or her medical history must be countersigned by a Notary Public, and the mandatory details of his/her financial situation (income, debts, assets and liabilities) must be accompanied by documented proof.
In due course, I will issue your employee with a PIN number which he/she must quote in dealings with me.

I regret that it cannot be shorter than 28 digits but, again, I have modeled it on the number of button presses required of me to access my account balance on your phone bank service.

As they say, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

Let me level the playing field even further. When you call me, press buttons as follows

1. To make an appointment to see me.

2. To query a missing payment.

3. To transfer the call to my living room in case I am there.

4. To transfer the call to my bedroom in case I am sleeping.

5. To transfer the call to my toilet in case I am attending to nature.

6. To transfer the call to my mobile phone if I am not at home.

7. To leave a message on my computer, a password to access my computer is required. Password will be; communicated to you at a later date to the Authorized Contact.

8. To return to the main menu and to listen to options 1 through 7.

9. To make a general complaint or inquiry.The contact will then be put on hold, pending the attention of my automated answering service. While this may, on occasion, involve a lengthy wait, uplifting music will play for the duration of the call.

Regrettably, but again following your example, I must also levy an establishment fee to cover the setting up of this new arrangement.

May I wish you a happy, if ever so slightly less prosperous New Year?

Your Humble Client,

Lydia B. Hodgson

Tales from the Gulf..

Brought to you by the letter "W"...

The Wizard has added an icon on the right hand side of 'OZ' under the "LINKS" section called: 'Current Terror Alert'.

It is based upon the United States Terror Alert. It will change depending upon the real world scenario. Currently it is 'Level Bert' - which you notice, is yellow. This is the same colour that the Department of Homeland Security has at this time.

Please note: The characters have a special meaning --- the colours of the characters match the warning colour.

Fact or Crap?

James Bond producer Albert “Cubby” Broccoli is a descendant of the botanist who discovered broccoli.







Broccoli has been grown in France and Italy for centuries and is named for the numerous shoots the plant produces. It was introduced to the United States in the 1920s by the D’Arrigo Brothers Company and has found a fertile home in California. It is one of the most nutritious vegetables.

Albert “Cubby” Broccoli

VOTE ON EQUAL MARRIAGE BILL NOW EXPECTED APRIL 19

Canadians believe opposition to bill fuels anti-gay discrimination

VOTE PORTANT SUR LE DROIT ÉGAL AU MARIAGE PRÉVU POUR
LE 19 AVRIL

Les Canadiens et les canadiennes croient que l'opposition au projet de loi devient la force de discrimination anti-gai.


The first do-or-die vote on the equal marriage bill is expected in the House of Commons on April 19.



The second-reading vote determines whether the bill is approved in principle. If passed, the bill then goes to a legislative committee which will hold public hearings, discuss amendments to the legislation and then return it to the Commons for the final vote there. The same steps must then be repeated in the Senate before the bill becomes law.


A second-reading vote had originally been expected April 12. Instead, there will likely be a vote that day simply on Conservative leader Stephen Harper's unconstitutional proposal for "civil unions". Using procedural tactics, the Conservatives are then triggering a second debate on the issue, delaying the vote by one more week.


Debate resumes in the Commons on Monday. You can watch the debate live on CPAC or read the verbatim transcript at www.equal-marriage.ca.

Canadiens et canadiennes pour le droit égal au mariage a besoin de votre aide!

Canadiens et canadiennes pour le droit égal au mariage a besoin de votre aide! Le Canada se trouve à un moment historique. Avec votre aide, le Canada deviendra un leader mondial dans le domaine de la protection des droits humains en légalisant le mariage des couples de même sexe partout dans le pays.

Quatre étapes pour assure le droit égal au mariage :
1. ACTION AUX DÉPUTÉS
2. SIGNER NOTRE PÉTITION
3. FAIRE UN DON
4. INFORMER VOS AMIS

Canadians for Equal Marriage Needs Your Help!

Canada is at an historic moment. With your help, Canada could soon become a leader in human rights, internationally by legalising same sex marriage across the country.

Four steps to ensure equal marriage:
1. MP ACTION
2. SIGN THE PETITION
3. DONATE TO CAMPAIGN
4. INVITE YOUR FRIEND

Equality opponents have a deliberate strategy of using their deep pockets to try to drag out the debate as long as possible. They hope the minority Liberal government will fall in the Commons before the legislation is passed. If you have not yet had a chance to contribute to Canadians For Equal Marriage, to help our grassroots campaign to match the efforts of our well-funded adversaries, please go to www.equal-marriage.ca/donate.php right now.

GLBT Rainbow PRIDE Flag

Meanwhile, CTV News reported earlier this month that vigorous opposition to the equal-marriage bill has led many Canadians to conclude that anti-gay discrimination is on the rise.

According to a the Ipsos-Reid survey, conducted for CTV News, 39 per cent of Canadians believe the recent debate has made the situation worse for gays and lesbians.

In contrast, fewer than one in 10 believe the discourse has decreased prejudice.

Comparing the findings from province to province, those living in the Prairies were more likely to believe the debate had increased discrimination. In Saskatchewan and Manitoba, for example, 58 per cent believe discrimination has increased as a result. In Alberta, the figure is 52 per cent.

Quebec is at the other end of the spectrum, with only 28 per cent agreeing that the debate has increased intolerance.


IN THE NEWS :: DANS LES MANCHETTES

Sikh leader's advice to MPs dismissed
Faith officially impartial to gay unions, Vedanti has `no understanding' of issue

The Toronto Star - Mar. 29, 2005 - A top Sikh leader in India who admonished Sikh Canadian MPs to not support same-sex marriage legislation has no authority to do so and, moreover, shows a remarkable lack of understanding of the issue, say some observers here.

Giani Joginder Singh Vedanti - acting as the Jathedar Akal Takht, the highest Sikh authority in Amritsar - told the Toronto Star's Martin Regg Cohn this week that he warned six Sikh Canadian MPs visiting India that they would be ostracized from the community if they supported Bill C-38.

"With the utmost respect, Mr. Vedanti and the Akhal Takht have no understanding of the Canadian context on this issue and have no jurisdiction to tell Canadians how to deal with it," T. Sher Singh, a Guelph lawyer and trustee of the Sikh Foundation International, said.

"He's no more a priest or high priest than I am the Queen of England," Singh added. He noted that Sikhdom does not have a religious hierarchy.

The Akhal Takht, whose office is across from the Golden Temple, has no authority on spiritual issues, but rather, rules on administrative and political matters facing the Sikh community in India, said Singh.

Same-sex union is not an issue the Sikh religion has an official stance on, so it's up to individual MPs to follow their own conscience, Singh said.

C'Mon Canada! Show your PRIDE!

'Show your faces,' MP Holland tells bigot group

Ottawa - March 22, 2005 - An anonymous group circulating flyers across Canada attacking MPs who support same-sex marriage should come out of hiding and show their faces, Ajax-Pickering MP Mark Holland demands.

The group, Concerned Canadian Parents, operates from a post office box in a 7-Eleven store on Weston Road in Toronto, and provides no information about who is behind its expensive campaign.

"Who is behind this group, and what are they hiding?" asks Holland. "Where is their money coming from? Is foreign money involved? Is a political party involved? We don't know."

The group has run expensive newspaper ads in major newspapers, but a search of editorial content of daily newspapers over the last three months found no news stories about the group.

"I call upon the media, who have been accepting their advertising dollars, to tell Canadians who is behind Concerned Canadian Parents," said Holland.

The flyer alleges that "anti-marriage legislation" (Bill C-38 to allow same-sex marriage) is not about minority rights, but is "the thin edge of a wedge that will destroy our Canadian way of life and damage our families." It is headed "Urgent! A message to all Ajax-Pickering families" and it mentions Holland by name as a supporter of the bill.

Similar leaflets have appeared in other Liberal ridings across Canada.

"I strongly disagree with this group's message of intolerance, but I respect their right to free speech," Holland says. "What I object to is that a cowardly, anonymous group can launch an expensive campaign to attack Parliamentarians without showing their faces."



Tories tangled up in Marriage Act
Promised bill against same-sex unions has yet to be seen

The Edmonton Journal - It's been a week since Premier Ralph Klein bowed to pressure from social conservatives and announced that his government would, in fact, renew the notwithstanding clause in an attempt to protect the traditional definition of marriage in Alberta.

Use of the clause is so extraordinary a power, its invocation lasts only five years, so civil rights aren't suspended indefinitely without review.

Of course, renewing the clause would be a mean, empty gesture. As the Supreme Court unanimously confirmed in December, the definition of marriage in Canada is the exclusive jurisdiction of the federal government.

This has nothing to do with the Charter of Rights and Freedoms. It goes all the way back to the BNA Act of 1867, when the provinces and the federal government divvied up their political powers.

Whether the Marriage Act contains the notwithstanding clause or not, it is still unconstitutional, because it trespasses on federal turf.

Alberta can invoke the notwithstanding clause all it likes. It might as well invoke the notwithstanding clause against snow in March or mosquitoes in July. Appeal courts across Canada have already acknowledged a right to same-sex marriage under the charter and the federal government has introduced legislation to recognize that fact.


UPCOMING EVENTS :: ÉVÉNEMENTS À VENIR

The Metropolitan Community Church of Toronto is organizing a petition of religious leaders across Canada who support Bill C-38. The petition will be presented to Parliament prior to the second reading.

The petition reads...

We support Bill C-38, the Civil Marriage Act, which brings Canada's civil marriage law into conformity with the Charter of Rights and Freedoms.

We support Bill C-38, the Civil Marriage Act, which brings Canada's civil marriage law into conformity with the Charter of Rights and Freedoms.
Some of us have religious beliefs that support marriage for same-sex couples. Others of us do not. However, we all support the right of same-sex couples to marry in a civil ceremony.
We support Freedom of Religion for those institutions who do not want to perform same-sex marriages, while also supporting Freedom of Religion for those institutions that do.
For more information, visit www.mcctoronto.com.

Friends to the end.... Dog jumps off Saskatoon bridge to help save his friend

(Saskatoon, SK) (CTV News) Even in pain, Boh and Nash stick together. It was how they ended up in the hospital that is truly an amazing story. The two escaped from their owner around supper Wednesday night and ran several blocks away onto one of the busiest roads in Saskatoon.

Christa Wock was heading down the freeway when she saw the dogs. She followed them all the way to Circle Drive Bridge, hoping they would stay safe. What ended up happening is almost beyond belief.

Christa Wock: "The large dog came around started running across Circle Drive. Got hit so hard he flew over the bridge and into the water. At that point I went to turn off the road and that's when the second dog came, ran and was chasing after his friend, and ran after him and jumped into the river."

Christa quickly turned around and headed down to the edge of the river. When she arrived she found miraculously the dogs had managed to get to shore and a jogger had stopped to help. Luckily both dogs were wearing tags so Christa was able to call the owner right away."

Owen Day, Bo and Nash's owner was out looking for the dogs when he got the call. He rushed to take them to the University Hospital. Bo's left leg was broken - likely when he was hit by the car, and Nash broke both front legs when he jumped off the bridge into the water below. Vets say both dogs will eventually heal but surgery is necessary.

Owen Day: "I don't know how were going to handle it but it's gotta get done. So far we're around 3000 for Boh and probably gonna be around 2500 at least for Nash."

The driver who hit Bo, never did stop. Witnesses say the car was blue and could have been a late 70's Oldsmobile. Police are looking for the driver. Owen hopes whoever did it realizes what they've done.

Owen Day: "I guess its up to whoever's conscience that hit him, how they deal with it, because it was pretty serious."

He also says without those who stopped to help, Nash and Bo would not be alive today.

Owen Day: I'd like to thank each and every one of them that stopped especially Christa."

The two best friends are now resting comfortably side by side at the University Vet College. Their recovery could take as long as a year. The lesson they leave about the lengths one friend will go to help save another will last a lifetime - especially for those who saw it with their own eyes.

Terri Schiavo Dies After Bitter Legal Battle

Terri Schiavo, getting a kiss from her mother,
had been without food or water since March 18.

(PINELLAS PARK, Fla.) (Reuters) - Terri Schiavo, the brain-damaged Florida woman at the heart of a wrenching dispute over her fate that drew in the U.S. Congress and President Bush, died on Thursday, 13 days after her feeding tube was removed by court order.

"Terri Schiavo has passed away just a little while ago," said Paul O'Donnell, a Franciscan monk and spiritual adviser to the parents, Bob and Mary Schindler, who fought a bitter seven-year legal battle to keep their daughter alive.

Schiavo, 41, died just hours after the U.S. Supreme Court rebuffed yet another last-ditch appeal by her parents for the feeding to be restored.

Schiavo had been in what courts ruled was a "persistent vegetative state" since a cardiac arrest in 1990 deprived her brain of oxygen.

Courts had long sided with her husband and legal guardian, Michael Schiavo, in ruling she would not have wanted to live in that condition and should be allowed to die.

Michael Schiavo, estranged from his parents-in-law, was with his wife when she died soon after 9 a.m. at a hospice in Pinellas Park, Florida, where she had been cared for.

There was no word from him or his lawyer, who said earlier this week that she was dying peacefully and with dignity.

But supporters of the parents were bitter.

"This is not only a death with all the sadness that brings. This is a killing," said Frank Pavone, a Roman Catholic priest who visited Schiavo shortly before she died.

"And for that we not only grieve that Terri has passed, but we grieve that our nation has allowed such an atrocity as this, and we pray that it will never happen again,"

The Schindlers were backed by conservative religious activists, anti-abortion campaigners, advocates for the disabled, and by mainly Republican politicians.

A small group of protesters who had kept vigil outside the hospice calling for Schiavo to be kept alive, sobbed and prayed when her death was announced, and then sang hymns in the morning sunshine.

Pavone said Schiavo's blood relatives were sent from her room just 10 or so minutes before she died because her condition was to be assessed and Michael Schiavo was going to visit.

'HEARTLESS CRUELTY'

"Bobby Schindler, her brother, said 'We want to be in the room when she dies.' Michael Schiavo said, 'No, you cannot.' So his heartless cruelty continues until this very last moment," Pavone said.

The Schindlers were able to pursue their case further after the U.S. Congress passed a special law giving federal courts jurisdiction in what traditionally has been the domain of state courts and Bush cut short a vacation to sign it.

But the effort, which opinion polls showed was deeply unpopular with most Americans, failed when federal judges refused the parents' requests to order feeding resumed.

The last rebuff, from the U.S. Supreme Court, came late on Wednesday night. The highest U.S. court had repeatedly refused to take on the case.

President Bush expressed his condolences in a White House statement.

"I urge all those who honor Terri Schiavo to continue to work to build a culture of life, where all Americans are welcomed and valued and protected, especially those who live at the mercy of others," he said.

"The essence of civilization is that the strong have a duty to protect the weak. In cases where there are serious doubts and questions the presumption should be in the favor of life."

"I pray for her mother and father, her family, and all those involved in this regrettable loss of life," Senate Republican Leader Bill Frist of Tennessee, who helped push the Schiavo legislation through Congress, said in a statement.

The mood outside the hospice was bitter.

"Well they got their way," said a grizzled New York City man who gave his name as "Lifeboat" and knelt clutching a wooden rosary. "We've become barbarians. We've lost our humanity in this country."

"I don't know if anything can stop this evil," said Mary Ann McGuire of Scranton, Pennsylvania, who sat weeping with her 16-month-old son on her lap and said she feared Schiavo's death would open the way for widespread euthanasia. "This can only get worse."

Florida Gov. Jeb Bush, the president's brother, also became heavily involved on the side of the parents, but last week courts denied his efforts to have the state welfare agency take custody of Schiavo.

And the governor also failed to persuade the Florida Legislature to push through a new state law to intervene.

"Many across our state and around the world are deeply grieved by the way Terri died," Jeb Bush said.

The Florida Senate held a moment of silence for Schiavo.

"Regardless of your perspective on end-of-life issues this is very sad moment and a very reflective moment for a lot of us," said Senate President Tom Lee.

Michael Schiavo's attorney, George Felos, said on Monday that his client had requested an autopsy to prove the extent of Terri's brain damage and to dispel questions from critics that his plans to cremate his wife's body were aimed at hiding something.

A court has said in the past Michael Schiavo can cremate his wife's body and bury the remains in Pennsylvania, his home state. The Schindlers, who are Roman Catholics, had wanted a full burial.

Fact or Crap?

Mel Blanc used to practice his voices in the halls of his high school.







The empty halls provided an excellent echo for the aspiring voice actor. Blanc coined the laugh for Woody Woodpecker and provided the voice for many other Looney Tunes characters, such as Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, and Porky Pig.

Mel Blanc

Now that's true love

It was a busy morning, approximately 8:30 am, when an elderly gentleman in is 80's, arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb.He stated that he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 am.

I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would to able to see him. I saw him looking at his watch and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound.

On exam it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound.While taking care of his wound, we began to engage in conversation I asked him if he had a doctor's appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry.

The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife. I then inquired as to her health. He told me that she had been there for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer Disease. As we talked, and I finished dressing his wound, I asked if she would be worried if he was a bit late.

He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him in five years now.

I was surprised, and asked him. "And you still go every morning, even though she doesn't know who you are?" He smiled as he patted my hand and said. "She doesn't know me, but I still know who she is."

I had to hold back tears as he left, I had goose bumps on my arm, and thought, "That is the kind of love I want in my life." True love is neither physical, nor romantic.

True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be.

With all the jokes and fun that are in e-mails, sometimes there are some that come along that have an important message, and this is one of those kind. Just had to share it with you all.

Oh, by the way, peace is seeing a sunset and knowing who to thank.

"The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything;
they just make the best of everything that comes along their way."

*Thanks, Auntie 'M'

'Day of Truth' provides response to homosexual-themed day

NASHVILLE, Tenn. (BP)--The "Day of Silence" -- the annual homosexual-themed day involving thousands of public school and college students nationwide -- will have a Christian counterpart this year.

The "Day of Truth" will serve as a counterpart to the "Day of Silence," allowing Christian students to take a stand for their beliefs. It will take place April 14, one day after the Day of Silence.

Day of Truth participants will wear a T-shirt reading, "The Truth Cannot Be Silenced," and also will pass out cards to their classmates expressing their beliefs. The inaugural event is being sponsored by the pro-family legal group Alliance Defense Fund and is being promoted by pro-family groups nationwide.

Its counterpart, the Day of Silence, is sponsored by the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network and began in 1996 with students vowing a day of silence as a way to protest what homosexual activists see as discrimination against homosexuals, lesbians and "transsexuals." It has since boomed, and organizers say last year an estimated 100,000 students participated. In some instances, school officials have taken part, creating uncomfortable situations for conservative students.

Joe Infranco, a senior attorney with the Alliance Defense Fund, said too many students have heard a "one-sided message" on homosexuality within their schools.

"In one sense [the Day of Truth] is a response to the Day of Silence," Infranco told Baptist Press. "In another sense it's an attempt to break this public school indoctrination in favor of homosexuality."

The Day of Truth is being held the day after the Day of Silence for a reason, Infranco said.

"We wanted to be respectful and permit the other side their day to express their message," he said. "We're not afraid to have the Gospel compete in the marketplace of ideas."

But there also is a legal reason it's being held when it is.

"Any school that permits the Day of Silence will be required to permit the Day of Truth," Infranco said. "For a school to allow the former and not the latter would be viewpoint discrimination, which is impermissible under any circumstances. The courts have unanimously struck down any restrictions based on viewpoint discrimination."

The Alliance Defense Fund has pledged free legal representation to any student who is discriminated against because of their Day of Truth participation, Infranco said.

The Day of Truth was inspired partly by Chase Harper, a San Diego-area high school student who opposed students in his school participating in the Day of Silence. Last year he was suspended after wearing a homemade T-shirt that read on the front, "Be Ashamed" and "Our School Embraced What God Has Condemned," and on the back read, "Homosexuality is Shameful" and "Romans 1:27."

ADF filed a federal lawsuit on behalf of Harper, claiming that school officials participated in the Day of Silence and that Harper's religious freedoms were violated. The lawsuit is still pending.

"The school that he attends was getting increasingly active with the Day of Silence," Infranco said. "In fact, they were stretching the events out to nearly a week. They were purposefully setting up the school schedule and events to accommodate the Day of Silence. There was tremendous pressure being exerted on the students to be a part of this and to approve of this."

The card that Day of Truth students will pass out reads: "I am speaking the Truth to break the silence. I believe in equal treatment for all, and not special rights for a few. I believe in loving my neighbor, but part of that love means not condoning detrimental personal and social behavior. I believe that by boldly proclaiming the Truth, hurts will be halted, hearts will be healed, and lives will be saved."

Richard Land, president of the Southern Baptist Ethics & Religious Liberty Commission, said the Day of Truth is a good way to counter the Day of Silence.

“The Day of Silence is a misnomer, because what is truly being silenced is the truth," Land said. "The Day of Truth is an excellent opportunity for students to influence their classmates from a Christian perspective.”

On the issue of homosexuality, Infranco said, many people feel they "don't have a voice."

"For many people [the Day of Truth] is a point of entry into the debate," he said, "and it's a way that they can respectfully and in a Christ-like manner say, 'We do not approve of this message. We don't approve of the lifestyle. And we think it's important that there be an alternative voice in society.'"

Day of Truth T-shirts and cards can be ordered online at www.telladf.org/truth. The website also has questions and answers about the event, as well as a radio and television advertisement that includes Chase Harper, the high school student who took a stand last year in opposition to his school participating in the Day of Silence.

--Note from The Wizard: The Wizard believes everyone has a right to have their say.

Be an 'Early Adopter' - Have a gas with MSN Messenger 7.0 BETA

What's new in the MSN Messenger Beta

Winks: Express yourself with impact. Send animations with sound to really get some attention.

This is one of the WINKS

Nudge: Get the conversation going. Give your friends a Nudge.

Drag and Drop Backgrounds: See an image you like? Drag it to your MSN Messenger window to set it as your background.

Set Status Before Logon: See who's online before others know you've logged in by setting your status! Subsequent logons can start you up in stealth mode.

Message History: Pick up where you left off. Enable Message History to track and show your most recent conversations so you won’t be caught off guard.

Contact Cards: Your new online ID card. Easily share contact information and personalize with images and backgrounds.

Works Great with MSN Spaces: Preview a Space from Contact cards with a direct link to view photos, blogs and more. You can even see what music they are listening to. Every time a Space is updated, your Messenger contacts will “gleam” to notify you of the change.

Main MSN Messenger Window

Download it today.

A Little Armed Forces Humour

A man walked into a supermarket with his zipper down. A lady cashier walked up to him and said, "Your barracks door is open." Not a phrase that men normally use, he went on his way looking a bit puzzled.

When he was about done shopping, a man came up and said, Your fly is open." He zipped up and finished his shopping. At the checkout, he intentionally got in the line where the lady was that told him about his "barracks door."

He was planning to have a little fun with her so when he reached the counter he said, "When you saw my barracks door open, did you see a soldier standing in there at attention?"

The lady (naturally smarter than the man) thought for a moment and said, "No, no I didn't. All I saw was a disabled veteran sitting on a couple of old duffel bags.

*Thanks, Daryn!

Queer Things....

Microsoft's New Keyboard

PEACE

Click above. It is a beautiful slide show. Requires Flash plugin. If you need the plugin, click here.

Use your 'Back' button to return to 'OZ'

*Thanks, Vince!

Ask The Wizard (How to Spot an Urban Legend)

Dear Wizard of 'OZ',

My mother is always sending me "urgent messages" she gets from her friends. One recent message advised me to forward it to nine friends for a gift certificate. Another, warned me about buying chocolate chip cookies at Nieman Marcus.

Signed,

Money for nothing

Dear Cookie Monster,

An urban legend may be a story you hear by word of mouth or a text you receive by email or fax. All have certain features in common which can aid in identifying them as urban legends.

Difficulty: Easy

Time Required: None

Here's How:

1. Consider the form of the information passed along to you. Is it a narrative — a story with a beginning, middle and end? Does it feature a surprising twist and/or end with a 'punch line' reminiscent of a joke? If so, it may be an urban legend.

2. Urban legends usually toe a fine line between outlandishness and plausibility. Does the story seem a little suspect, yet believable? Was it told to you AS IF it's true? Often the teller of an urban legend will even begin with the statement, 'This is a true story...'

3. Look for statements like 'This really happened to a friend of a friend' (or 'I heard this from the wife of a co-worker,' or 'You won't believe what happened to my brother's housekeeper's son,' etc.).

4. Have you heard the same story more than once from different sources, possibly even with different names and details? If you've heard more than one version, it's probably an urban legend.

5. Consider whether there's evidence to suggest the story you've heard is false, and/or there are commonsense reasons to disbelieve it.

6. Does the story seem too good to be true; too horrible, or too funny to be true? If so, there's a good chance it's an urban legend and NOT true.

7. Check books and Websites about urban legends to see if the story is listed there (see resources below).

8. Research any factual claims in the story to see if there is published evidence to support them. The burden of proof is on the teller of the tale.

Tips:

Contrary to popular belief, urban legends aren't always false. The key factor is that they are told AS IF true, though no supporting evidence is offered (apart from the solemn word of 'a friend of a friend').

Email versions of urban legends tend to lose some of their story-like qualities, circulating in the form of warnings or alerts instead of personal anecdotes. But they are still urban legends.

Urban Legends (Computer)

Hope this helps.

Yrs,

The Wizard

Bambi

Walt Disney's 1942 masterpiece, "Bambi," with its circle of life, its precise depiction of the wild, its heroism, tragedy, and message of hope, is already among the most innovative and enduring films of all time. But now, past and future collide as a crack team of computer and animation experts, using state-of-the-art technology, have digitally restored "Bambi"'s 110,000 frames to a new brilliance, one at a time.

SNOW IN THE AIR: The art of "Bambi" is breathtaking.

And that's only the beginning. The Special Edition double DVD set has an equally enhanced soundtrack, so the film's music flows from the speakers with new clarity. Whether you have a fancy home theater or not, you're in for quite a show. Start by watching "Inside Walt's Story Meetings," one of many bonus features (which include deleted scenes, games, and a look back at what was happening the year "Bambi" was released).

Q. What does Flower the skunk name his baby?

A. Flower's offspring is named Bambi, in honor of Flower's best friend.

* Andy Siditsky, senior vice president of DVD productions for Disney, is particularly excited about the story-meeting feature, which uses the copious stenographer notes taken at the time to reenact scenes inside the "Bambi" story room. "Imagine," he says, "sitting in on a story meeting for 'Bambi' with Walt and his team, including two of the famous Nine Old Men." The reenactment by voice actors is played over the running film, and serves as the DVD's audio commentary feature. "[Viewers] will hear how Walt articulated his vision and how the team made decisions -- and then marvel at how close the original vision is to the final product."

Donnie Dunagan, who supplied the voice of the young Bambi, was no stranger to the studio back then. Though only five when "Bambi" was made, Dunagan was already a pro, having appeared in seven movies, such as 1939's "Son of Frankenstein." But The Walt Disney Studio was something special.

Now 70, the retired 25-year veteran of the United States Marine Corps looks back fondly on his time with Walt. "I met Mr. Disney on the second or third day," Dunagan recalls. "I remember the big smile, the gentle voice, but mostly I remember his presence. I got to see him every day with the 'drawing men,' which is what I called the artists who worked on the picture. He was more of a coach than a boss. You paid attention to him, but in a relaxed way. I remember him bouncing his fingers in the air to demonstrate a deer prancing, and then watching the drawing men bring it to life. There was no script to memorize -- they just told me what to say. 'Okay, Donnie, now speak these words like you're afraid. Speak these like you're happy.' Those gentlemen were so much fun to work with, always laughing, playing tricks. I used to smuggle in a water gun -- we all had a blast."

As for the harrowing scene where Bambi loses his mother, the young Dunagan was stunned. "It surprised me. I didn't know it was in the film until I saw it on the screen. So sad," he recalls. "But then Bambi's father steps in, leads him to safety, and I remember thinking, 'Wow, things can get pretty bad but you still pick yourself up and keep going.' You can recover from loss."

NATURE SHOW: After a spring rain interrupts his nap time, Bambi watches a stream pick up speed

Dunagan regrets that after he grew up he did not meet Disney again. "The courage he had, his sensitivity toward animals, the message he gave us in 'Bambi.' I've never forgotten it."

Wanna Be A Voyeur???

Then check out ICE Rocket. This site is out of this world!

Click above to see what other people search for.. ok, so maybe the Wizard is a geek.. but this IS Fun!

Fact or Crap?

The California grizzly bear is extinct.







It is estimated that the state of California was once home to 10,000 grizzly bears. The bear is even a prominent figure on the state’s flag. Over the years, settlers and explorers hunted the bears, hastening their extinction in that state.

The California Grizzly Bear Is The State Mammal

From The "Wild" Life Gallery

Deer Hunter


Super Squirrel


Packin' heat

Eyes Introduces New Gay Character To TV

ABC unveils its new drama Eyes this week and it is welcome relief. Slotted in on Wednesdays, it offers a nice alternative to the politics of West Wing and the slick Law & Order.

Eyes wants nothing more than to entertain. It is pure escapism that is twisted and as fresh as Desperate Housewives - full of risks, bluffs, blackmail and intrigue.

If someone steals $100 from you, call the police. If they steal $100,000, call the FBI. But if you're the CEO of a Fortune 500 company and your chief financial officer embezzles $100 million on your watch, call Judd Risk Management.

Run by sharp-witted, impulsive Harlan Judd (Tim Daly), Judd Risk Management is a discreet, high-tech firm that handles cases with the highest possible stakes, while operating at the absolute fringe of the law. Along with ruthlessly efficient Nora Gage (Garcelle Beauvais-Nilon) and a staff of brilliantly skilled, driven individuals -- some with their own agendas and secrets -- Harlan does whatever it takes to prevail in a world of unsteady alliances and uncertain loyalties.

Jeff McCann (Eric Mabius from "The L Word") is the agent with the dark side and the kind of amorality that allows him to bed his best friend's wife.

Gage isn't what she seems. McCann has all the loyalty of Brutus. And, Chris Didion is gay and a former psychiatric patient.

What I particularly liked here was the way the characters are introduced to us. When we learn that Didion is gay it is done so mater of factly it blends seamlessly into the story line where other shows have made a big issue of the 'coming out episode' - teasing us with tasteless trailers and the must-do cliffhanger before the kiss.

Didion is played by Rick Worthy. It would be nearly impossible for any steady moviegoer to say they have not seen a worthy Worthy performance, as he has established himself as one of the most versatile and busy actors in entertainment, with a varied bodied of work in film, television and theatre.

Among Worthy's recent roles are his portrayal of Ronnie in the blockbuster Collateral Damage, Dietz in Antitrust and Johnny in The Trigger Effect.Other film credits include Star Trek IX, Ritchie Rich and While You Were Sleeping.

On television Worthy has had a series regular role in The Magnificent Seven and has made guest appearances in a number of other series, including CSI: Miami, Enterprise, Boomtown, Dark Angel, Felicity, Star Trek: Voyager and NYPD Blue, to name a few.

Eyes is up against stiff competition in the 10 pm slot with Law & Order on NBC and CSI:NY on CBS - you can't get a tougher competition than that. But while both of those shows depend on realism Eyes is pure escapism and that just could be its ticket.

©365Gay.com 2005

You Know The Rules

Freddie Mercury, Gianni Versace and the Queen Mum arrive at the Pearly gates, St Peter explains that only one can get through and that they each have to put forward their case for entry.

Freddie says, "I know I haven't led a perfect life and I've made some mistakes along the way, but I've made some of the most beautiful music in the world. I'll stand at the back of heaven, and serenade everybody with my wondrous songs, making heaven a far happier place to be."

"Pretty good, Fred" said St Peter, "what about you Gianni?"

Versace says, "I make the most beautiful clothes in the world. I will completely redesign the fashions up here, from the archangels to the cherub to the choirboys. As you well know Pete if you look good you will feel good and that will make heaven a much happier place."

"Not bad" says St Peter. "What about you Queen Mum?"

The Queen Mum does not say a word, instead she lifts up her skirt and pulls down her knickers, inserts a full bottle of Evian water into her pussy, lets the water shoot up inside her and then gush out all over the floor.

"Excellent, you're in!" says St Peter.

"Hold on a fucking minute!" says Freddie. "She didn't even say anything!"

"Fred you know the rules," says St Peter, "A royal flush beats a pair of Queens..."

*Thanks, Daryn! :O)

Superstar Lawyer Johnnie Cochran Dies

LOS ANGELES (AP) - Johnnie L. Cochran Jr., who became a legal superstar after helping clear O.J. Simpson during a sensational murder trial in which he uttered the famous quote "If it doesn't fit, you must acquit," died Tuesday. He was 67.


Attorney Johnny Cochran arrives
at Manhattan Supreme Court in
a New York file photo from Jan. 29,...

Cochran died of a brain disorder in Los Angeles, said law partner Randy McMurray.

"Certainly, Johnnie's career will be noted as one marked by celebrity cases and clientele," his family said in a statement. "But he and his family were most proud of the work he did on behalf of those in the community."

With his colorful suits and ties, his gift for courtroom oratory and a knack for coining memorable phrases, Cochran was a vivid addition to the pantheon of great American barristers.

The "if it doesn't fit" phrase would be quoted and parodied for years afterward. It derived from a dramatic moment during which Simpson tried on a pair of bloodstained "murder gloves" to show jurors they did not fit. Some legal experts called it the turning point in the trial.

Soon after, jurors found the Hall of Fame football star not guilty of the 1994 slayings of his ex-wife Nicole Brown Simpson and her friend Ronald Goldman.

For Cochran, Simpson's acquittal was the crowning achievement in a career notable for victories, often in cases with racial themes. He was a black man known for championing the causes of black defendants. Some of them, like Simpson, were famous, but more often than not they were unknowns.

"The clients I've cared about the most are the No Js, the ones who nobody knows," said Cochran, who proudly displayed copies in his office of the multimillion-dollar checks he won for ordinary citizens who said they were abused by police.

"People in New York and Los Angeles, especially mothers in the African-American community, are more afraid of the police injuring or killing their children than they are of muggers on the corner," he once said.

By the time Simpson called, the byword in the black community for defendants facing serious charges was: "Get Johnnie."

Fact or Crap?

A Swedish confectioner invented the ice cream cone.







In 1896 Italo Marchiony, an Italian, produced the first version of this popular treat. Another version was invented around the same time by an ice cream vendor at the Louisiana Purchase Exposition, but Marchiony was granted a U.S. patent for his waffle-style cone in 1903, months before the Expo was held.

Waffle Cone invented by Italo Marchiony

I Don't Ask Much....

Quote of the Week...

When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.

-- Henri Nouwen, Out of Solitude

I Was Sexually Harassed!

On a senior citizen bus tour, the driver was surprised. While the passengers were unloading, to do some sightseeing, one elderly lady stopped and whispered in his ear, "Driver, I believe that I was sexually harassed!"

The driver didn't think much of this complaint, but promised he would check into it soon.

Later, that very same day, as the passengers were unloading again, a second little old lady bent down and whispered in his ear, "Sir, I believe I was sexually harassed!"

This time, he knew it had to be taken care of soon. A few passengers had remained on the bus, and he decided to go back and question them, to see if they had any knowledge of what was going on.

He found one little old man crawling along the bus floor underneath the seats and stooped down to question him. "Excuse me, sir, could I help you?"

The elderly man looked up and said, "Well, sonny, you sure can. I've lost my toupee and I'm trying to find it. I thought I'd located it twice, but they were parted in the middle, and mine's parted on the side

*Thanks, Daryn!

Troy - Avenging Angel

Have Troy's lustful ways caught up with him?

To Be Continued...

Be Afraid... Be Very Afraid...

The Sesame Street Gang

Very Weird....

Man grows penis on his arm

Doctors have replaced a man's penis with one grown on his forearm.

The 30-year-old Russian, named only as Sergei, has his 2-and-a-half-inch penis removed and attached to his arm.

Using tissue it grew to 6-and-a-half inches and was sewn back on his groin in an 11-hour operation reports The Sun.

A Moscow surgeon said the man will be able to have sex in a few months. He said: "Women will never suspect."

Big Mud Puddles and Sunny Yellow Dandelions

When I look at a patch of dandelions, I see a bunch of weeds that are going to take over my yard.

My kids see flowers for Mom and blowing white fluff you can wish on.

When I look at an old drunk and he smiles at me, I see a smelly, dirty person who probably wants money and I look away.

My kids see someone smiling at them and they smile back.

When I hear music I love, I know I can't carry a tune and don't have much rhythm so I sit self-consciously and listen.

My kids feel the beat and move to it. They sing out the words. If they don't know them, they make up their own.

When I feel wind on my face, I brace myself against it. I feel it messing up my hair and pulling me back when I walk.

My kids close their eyes, spread their arms and fly with it, until they fall to the ground laughing.

When I pray, I say thee and thou and grant me this, give me that.

My kids say, "Hi God! Thanks for my toys and my friends. Please keep the bad dreams away tonight. Sorry, I don't want to go to Heaven yet. I would miss my Mommy and Daddy."

When I see a mud puddle I step around it. I see muddy shoes and dirty carpets.

My kids sit in it. They see dams to build, rivers to cross, and worms to play with.

I wonder if we are given kids to teach or to learn from? No wonder God loves the little children!

Enjoy the little things in life, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.


I wish you Big Mud Puddles and Sunny Yellow Dandelions!!!

The Wizard takes a stab at McDonald's...

Big Mac Attack


Chicken McNugget


Lying in Advertising

Unionized Brothels

A dedicated Teamsters union worker was attending a convention in Las Vegas and decided to check out the local brothels. When he got to the first one, he asked the Madam, "Is this a union house?"

"No," she replied, "I'm sorry it isn't."

"Well, if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?"

"The house gets $80 and the girls get $20," she answered.

Mightily offended at such unfair dealings, the union man stomped off down the street in search of a more equitable, hopefully unionized shop.

His search continued until finally he reached a brothel where the Madam responded, "Why yes sir, this is a union house. We observe all union rules."

The man asked, "And if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?"

The girls get $80 and the house gets $20."

"That's more like it!" the union man said He handed the Madam 100, looked around the room and pointed to a stunningly attractive blonde.

"I'd like her," he said.

I'm sure you would, sir," said the Madam.

Then she gestured to a 92-year old woman in the corner, "but Ethel here has 67 years seniority and she's next."

*Auntie 'M'

Crowded House Drummer Hester Found Dead

SYDNEY, Australia (AP) - The drummer from popular 1980s Australian rock band Crowded House hanged himself in a park in southern Australia, an emergency services spokeswoman said Monday. Paul Hester, 46, failed to return home after taking his two dogs for a walk on Friday night.

Loss ... Paul Hester, centre, with Nick Seymour and Neil Finn

The drummer's body was later found in a park near his home in the southern city of Melbourne.

Metropolitan Ambulance Service spokeswoman Liraje Memishi said ambulance officers arrived on the scene shortly after midday Saturday and reported that Hester had "attempted suicide" and suffered strangulation.

Officers declared Hester dead more than 20 minutes later, Memishi said.

"They attempted resuscitation but he was dead when they arrived. There was nothing they could do," she said.

Memishi said she could not confirm where Hester's body was found, but reports have suggested he was discovered hanging from a tree.

Hester played in several small bands before joining the New Zealand group Split Enz in 1983. He and Split Enz singer Neil Finn formed Crowded House in 1985 with bass player Nick Seymour.

Crowded House was one of Australia's most successful bands in the late 1980s and early 1990s, with international hits such as "Don't Dream it's Over" and "Weather with You."

Currently touring in London, Finn mourned the loss of his one-time band member.

"I am deeply saddened by the loss of a close friend," Finn told The Daily Telegraph.

Hester is survived by his girlfriend Mardi Sommerfield and their two daughters aged 8 and 10.

Fact or Crap?

Jurors in the District of Puerto Rico must be U.S. citizens.







Puerto Rico is a Commonwealth of the United States and has a U.S. district court. The United States District Court for the District of Puerto Rico is a federal court created under the U.S. Constitution.

Sun Play in Puerto Rico

This week in the Stars...

March 28 - April 3

Celebrity Birthdays

March 28, 1955 Reba McEntire
March 29, 1968 Lucy Lawless
March 30, 1968 Celine Dion
March 31, 1971 Ewan McGregor
April 1, 1932 Debbie Reynolds
April 2, 1914 Alec Guinness
April 3, 1959 David Hyde Pierce

This Week In The Stars

Aries (March 21-April 19): Condi Rice says that she hasn't ruled out a Presidential run in 2008. Sharon Stone is preparing to film Basic Instinct 2. And David Schwimmer is going to star in the play Some Girls in London's West End in May. As three planets give you a triple dose of cosmic love, you could take a cue from these celebs and attempt something ambitious. Make like Martha Stewart and put recent unpleasantness behind you. Instead of beating yourself up about those ImClone indiscretions, remember that you just made Forbes' Magazine's billionaire list for the first time.

Taurus (April 20-May 20): As transformation planet Pluto slips into retrograde, you're taking a second look at long-term relationships. Jennifer Lopez recently rehired manager Benny Medina although she fired him two years ago. And after dating model Penny Lancaster for five years, Rod Stewart popped the question when the two of them were on holiday at the Eiffel Tower. You're also looking to either upgrade or downgrade the status of a friendship. Will you pledge your eternal troth to your honey or toss him in the dust bin?

Gemini (May 21-June 21): Mars is increasing the flow of opportunities coming your way, but don't say "Yes" to everything. The four lovely stars of Desperate Housewives recently turned down offers of $2 million each to pose nude in Playboy. You, too, should be careful not to sell out. Displaying your nipples once in a while is all well and good. Just make sure that you maintain your integrity when you're doing it. Trickster Mercury could provide a few glitches or snafus. Don't sign a lease, a prenuptial agreement, or a tax return until you've looked it over carefully.

Cancer (June 22-July 22): Czech supermodel Petra Nemkova managed to survive broken legs and a fractured pelvis, as well as a severe loss of blood, after she tangled with December's tsunami. With the moon beaming down blessings, the realm of the miraculous is becoming familiar terrain for you, too. Expect a sudden recovery or a last minute rescue. You were slated to be your sister's bridesmaid and expected to shell out $500 for a crappy tulle dress. Good news! Her fiancé ran off with Sven, his hunky personal trainer. Hmm. What should you do with that extra $500? Manolo Blahnik, here you come!

Leo (July 23-August 22): Sex and the City's Kristin Davis and comedian Steve Martin have been seen holding hands and acting cozy. Meanwhile, Nancy O'Dell of Access Hollywood has gotten engaged to business executive Keith Zubchevich. With Venus pepping up your house of pleasure, you could be immersed in some hot snugglebunny behavior, too. If you're single, adopt a frisky strategy and cure this condition. Sidle up to that hunky new neighbor who just moved in across the hall. "Coffee, tea, Red Bull, or me?"

Virgo (August 23-September 22): The Sopranos' Lorraine Bracco has opened up about her struggles with clinical depression. A spunky sun and Mercury conjunction is inspiring you to tell it like it is, too. Like Lorraine, you might turn a personal problem into a personal cause. Virgos tend to live inside their heads. Step outside the Wacky World of You and embrace a broader view of reality. Get into helper mode, and you'll feel better. Make like Angelina Jolie. (Work to support a charitable cause like UNICEF, that is. Don't flirt with Brad Pitt.)

Libra (September 23-October 23): A full moon in your sign could have you wondering why your life is a disaster, but things aren't so bad. Santa Barbara County Deputy District Attorney Gordon Auchincloss says Michael Jackson is $300 million in debt. You could be doing a lot worse. So you've been indulging champagne lover's tastes on a beer budget. At least you haven't been trying to live like a billionaire when you're really only a millionaire. Jesus Juice can get pretty expensive when you order it in bulk quantities.

Scorpio (October 24-November 21): You're determined to get your own way, even if you have to bust a few heads in the process. Just don't bust your own head, like Cameron Diaz did. The Charlie's Angels star had to receive stitches in her head because she fell from a chest of drawers when she was putting away clothes from a recent trip to South Africa. Fortunately, her honey Justin Timberlake found her and rushed her to the hospital. A moon square could turn you into a klutz this week, so proceed gently.

Sagittarius (November 22-December 21): Demi Moore is rumored to be preggers with younger boy toy Ashton Kutcher's baby. Good for her, you say. As the sun and Venus work together to bring improvement to your romantic life, you're feeling giddy about love in whatever form it takes. So what if Bruce Willis and Lindsay Lohan supposedly shared a gropefest at the premiere of his new movie, Hostage? A 30 year age difference shouldn't stand in the way of a little fun. (Or should it?)

Capricorn (December 22-January 19): It looks like Lost in Translation's Scarlett Johansson could costar in the next Indiana Jones movie. And Keanu Reeves may appear in The 8th Voyage of Sinbad. Ambitious Jupiter has you itching to do something heroic, too. You'll rescue a bunch of kittens before they're squooshed in a trash compactor. You'll adopt a Sudanese orphan. You might even start a charity drive to collect reading material for poor Bernard Ebbers. The former head of WorldCom could receive an 85 year prison sentence. That's how long it takes to plow through Finnegans' Wake.

Aquarius (January 20-February 18): Creativity is the theme for the week as Venus boosts your artistic imagination. Catherine Zeta-Jones is set to produce a film about her native Wales. Heather Graham is going to star in a new ABC drama pilot. And Chris Rock is developing a sitcom for UPN based on his childhood years in Brooklyn. Stick with that pet project. Finish your memoir about your crazy, mixed-up days in the state penitentiary. Or produce your own CD. "I've Got a Pit Bull Around My Heart, and He's Putting On Weight" could be a huge hit.

Pisces (February 19-March 20): Therapist Sandra L. Brown is the author of the new book, How to Spot a Dangerous Man. In it, she describes the "red flags" that all women have when they are involved with a fellow who might be physically or emotionally dangerous. Her book encourages readers to spot these warning signs before hooking up with the wrong guy. A cranky full moon has you wishing that you'd read this book years ago. You've dated the Dangerous Man plus most of his less dangerous brothers - Unemployed Man; Beer Guzzling Man; and Disco Inferno Man. Yikes!

© Jennifer Shepherd

Is Computer Vision Syndrome Real?

While Computer Vision Syndrome is a term coined in the popular press, most scientific journals have avoided adopting this particular description of eye strain and related symptoms (asthenopia) caused by staring at a computer screen for hours on end.

The more scientifically acceptable term for Computer Vision Syndrome is occupational asthenopia, which can include symptoms such as headaches and dry eye.

Researchers at this time are struggling to find an objective method that defines exactly what computer-related conditions cause exactly what type of eye complaints, which can vary depending on the individual and factors such as age.

Workplace Lighting and Eye Complaints

An excellent resource on Computer Vision Syndrome can be found in the 2004 British Occupational Hygiene Society journal, published by Oxford University Press.

The article on workplace lighting and its possible role in development of eye symptoms discusses the many variables in a work environment, such as reflective surfaces surrounding a computer work station that can significantly alter how the computer video display is seen.

Other Findings Associated With Computer-Related Vision Problems:

One Italian study noted a subjective correlation between psychological complaints of unhappy workers and complaints of vision disturbances at computer work stations.

But this finding brings up the question of which problem came first.

A Japanese study reported a strong association between vision complaints and the development of dry eye, which can occur from hours of staring at a video display without blinking at appropriate intervals.

Another Japanese study from a small sampling indicates that supplementation with the amino acid, taurine, appears to alleviate vision fatigue associated with long hours at a computer work station

Other studies suggest that, with some individuals, long hours of near vision work involving computers may lead to problems with the eye’s focusing ability or accommodation.

From Marilyn Haddrill, Your Guide to Vision.

Stuck Pup!

*Thanks, Daryn! :O)

Three Women...one ticket

Three women and three men are traveling by train to the Super Bowl.

At the station, the three men each buy a ticket and watch as the three women buy just one ticket.

"How are the three of you going to travel on only one ticket?" asks one of the men.

"Watch and learn," answers one of the women.

They all board the train. The three men take their respective seats but all three women cram into a toilet together and close the door.

Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the toilet door and says, "Ticket, please."

The door opens just a crack, and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand.

The conductor takes it and moves on.

The men see this happen and agree it was quite a clever idea; so, after the game, they decide to do the same thing on the return trip and save some money.

When they get to the station they buy a single ticket for the return trip but see, to their astonishment, that the three women don't buy any ticket at all!!

"How are you going to travel without a ticket?" says one perplexed man.

"Watch and learn," answer the women.

When they board the train, the three men cram themselves into a toilet, and the three women cram into another toilet just down the way.

Shortly after the train is on its way, one of the women leaves her toilet and walks over to the toilet in which the men are hiding.

The woman knocks on their door and says, "Ticket, please."

I'm still trying to figure out why men ever think they are smarter than women!!!

*Thanks, 'M'!

ACME Penis Enlarger

*Thanks, Rimsky :O)

AGE BY CHOCOLATE

This is pretty neat. DON'T CHEAT BY SCROLLING DOWN FIRST!
It takes less than a minute....... Work this out as you read..

Be sure you don't read the bottom until you've worked it out! This is not one of those waste of time things, it's fun.

1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to have chocolate. (more than once but less than 10)

2. Multiply this number by 2 (Just to be bold)

3. Add 5. (for Sunday)

4.. Multiply it by 50 I'll wait while you get the calculator.................

5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1755....

If you haven't, add 1754 ......

6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born.

You should have a three digit number .

The first digit of this was your original number (i.e. how many times you want to have chocolate each week).

The next two numbers are .........


YOUR AGE! (Oh YES, it is!!!!!)THIS IS THE ONLY YEAR (2005) IT WILL EVER WORK, SO SPREAD IT AROUND WHILE IT LASTS.

*Thanks, Auntie 'M' :O)

Easter Suprise!

*Thanks, Vlad!

News of the Weird

* Vivienne, an interactive companion accessible on powerful, "third-generation" cellphones, was recently introduced by the Hong Kong company Artificial Life as a high-maintenance, video-image "girlfriend" who goes on dates with you, kisses, speaks six languages, converses on 35,000 topics, accepts flowers and diamonds, and may even marry you (though you also acquire a troublesome mother-in-law). Vivienne so far is prudish (no nudity, no sex), owing to Artificial Life's aim at marketing in modest cultures, but she will appear in Europe and some U.S. cities by the end of this year (at about $6 a month plus airtime). Said one Hong Kong video game player, characterizing Vivienne for the New York Times, "It's a little bit for the losers."

* Names in the News: From the crime column of the Lewisville Tex.) Leader, February 14: arrested on charges of drug possession, driving while intoxicated, and driving without a license: Mr. Fred Flintstone, 34. And taken into custody in February in Miami, Fla., to begin serving a one-year sentence on alien-smuggling charges: a Chinese national whose given name is King Kong. And an obituary from the Fort Worth (Tex.) Star-Telegram, December 2: Mr. Dom Perigion Champagne, whose parents were Mr. Jeron Champagne and Ms. Perfect Engelberger.

* Chutzpah! Porchia Bennett of Philadelphia was last visited by her father Lester Trapp when she was 1, then virtually abandoned by her drug-addicted mother Tiffany Bennett at age 2, to fall to the custody of Tiffany's drug-addicted sister and the sister's boyfriend, who lived in rat-infested squalor and who are now charged with killing Porchia at age 3 through starvation and physical abuse. In February, Trapp and his parents filed a lawsuit against the city of Philadelphia for failing to protect Porchia (with Tiffany also entitled to share the proceeds as Porchia's "beneficiary").

* Missing The Point: In January, Richard Graybill, 42, pleaded guilty in Chester County, Pa., to unauthorized use of a vehicle. He had taken a car that had been parked, awaiting repairs, at a shopping center, but he was later discovered by the car's owner when he happened to pull up to the drive-thru window at the Wendy's restaurant where she worked. She confronted him, and he sped away, but he returned a few minutes later and tried to persuade her to sign over the title to him, in that he had put a lot of effort into fixing the car up after he took it.

* In 2002, 17 U.S. pilots captured and beaten by Saddam Hussein's forces in the 1991 Gulf War filed a lawsuit asking for nearly $1 billion from Saddam's assets frozen by the U.S., and in 2003, a federal judge ruled in their favor. However, an appeals court tossed out the case, citing a 2003 post-invasion law that removed jurisdiction for the lawsuit at the behest of the Bush Administration, which wants to reserve the frozen assets for rebuilding Iraq. An even larger irony is that Defense Secretary Rumsfeld has publicly conceded that the Iraqi detainees who were abused in 2003 at the Abu Ghraib prison should be compensated, even though the U.S. pilots endured perhaps worse abuse at the same Abu Ghraib facility in 1991.

* What Goes Around, Comes Around: According to Transportation Security Administration officials, New Jersey psychiatrist Esha Khoshnu, in a stopover in Phoenix en route to a professional meeting in San Diego in February, got "mouthy and snippy" with Mesa Airlines agents who wanted to examine her luggage, reportedly saying, "[Even if] I had a bomb, you wouldn't find it." Agents, following TSA protocol, detained her, causing her to miss her flight, and her luggage, loaded onto another flight, was eventually blown up on the tarmac at Lindbergh Field in San Diego.

* Six years ago, during a brief affair in Chicago, Dr. Sharon Irons manually inseminated herself with sperm from Dr. Richard O. Phillips, following oral sex. The result was a daughter, now aged 5, for which Phillips has reluctantly been paying $800 a month to support while his lawsuit against Irons for deception travels through Illinois courts. A trial judge had dismissed all of his claims, but in February, the Illinois Appeals Court granted a partial reversal, ordering a trial on whether she inflicted "emotional distress" by a legally "outrageous" act. However, the Court dismissed Phillips's claim that Irons had "stolen" his sperm, stating that "it was a gift, an absolute and irrevocable transfer of title to property from a donor to a donee" and that, without a specific agreement to return it, it was hers to do with as she pleased.

© Chuck Shepherd

Who Is?

Sleeping Beauty, Tom Thumb, and Quasimodo were all talking one day.

Sleeping Beauty said, "I believe myself to be the most beautiful girl in the world."

Tom Thumb said, "I must be the smallest person in the world."


Quasimodo said, "I absolutely have to be the ugliest person in the world."


They decided to go to the Guinness Book of World Records to have their claims verified. Sleeping Beauty went first and came out looking deliriously happy. "It's official, I AM the most beautiful girl in the world,"

Tom Thumb went next and emerged triumphant, "I am officially the smallest person in the world."

Sometime later, Quasimodo came out looking confused and simply stated, "Who the hell is Camilla Parker Bowles?"

*'M'

The Irish Priest

A man enters a confessional and says to the Irish Priest "Father, it has been one month since my last confession. I've had sex with Fannie Green every week for the last month."

The priest tells the sinner, "You are forgiven. Go out and say three 'Hail Mary's'."

Soon, another man enters the confessional. "Father, it has been two months since my last confession. I have had sex with Fannie Green twice a week for the last two months."

This time the priest asks, "Who is this Fannie Green?"

"A new woman in the neighbourhood," the sinner replies.

"Very well," says the priest. "Go and say ten 'Hail Mary's'."

The next morning in church, the priest is preparing to deliver his sermon when a gorgeous, tall woman enters the church. All the men's eyes fall upon her as she slowly sashays up the aisle and sits down in front of the Altar. Her dress is green and very short, with matching shiny emerald green shoes.

The priest and altar boy gasp as the woman sits down with her legs slightly spread apart, Sharon Stone-style.

The priest turns to the altar boy and whisperingly asks, "Is that Fannie Green?"

The altar boy replies, ..............................

"No Father, I think it's just the reflection off her shoes".

*Thanks, Auntie 'M'

Who is the Easter Bunny?

Click above to read ALL about it!

HAPPY EASTER FROM THE WIZARD of 'OZ'

Fact or Crap?

President Ronald Reagan sent jellybeans into space in the 1980s.







Jellybeans, which date back to the 1800s and are available today in dozens of gourmet flavors, were indeed sent into space on the 1983 Challenger space shuttle by the U.S. president.