Send in computer questions by clicking on The Wizard at the top of 'OZ'. Posting is at 10AM and 2PM CST daily. 4 days of posts are on the main page. The archives have more. You can forward posts by clicking on the envelope at the bottom of the post - Enjoy your stay! ***If there is a copyright issue, please email me by clicking on The Wizard at the top right of the page and I will provide credit, change it to a link, or remove the post.***
Wednesday, March 09, 2005
Don't Fart In Bed
This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.
Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick .. He told her he couldn't stop and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor. She was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.
The years went by and he continued to rip them out! Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her.
She took the bow l and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.
Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom.
The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.
About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face.
She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter. He said, "Honey, you were right. All these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you."
"What do you mean?" asked his wife.
"Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and to day it finally happened. But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and these two fingers, I think I got most of them back in.
Preserving Old Time Radio - Click above to order your favourite shows today!
Click above to buy this and other great posters from MovieGoods.com®
Chat rooms monitored. Blogs deleted. Websites blocked. Search engines
restricted. People imprisoned for simply posting and sharing information. The Internet is a new frontier in the struggle for human rights.
Governments \96 with the help of some of the biggest IT companies in the world \96 are cracking down on freedom of expression.
Amnesty International, with the support of The Observer UK newspaper, is launching a campaign to show that online or offline
the human voice and human rights are impossible to repress. Click Above to find out more.
If you believe this I have bridge to sell.. but seriously... never click on
these "warnings" as they can lead to getting spyware and other not so niceties
such as adware and browser hijackers, key loggers and more. (Of course you CAN trust The
Why the bear? Click on it!
1.5 Million visitors to 'OZ'- Thanks to all my Wonderful Readers!
'OZ' was inspired by 'Over The
Rainbow/What A Wonderful World'
(Born May 20, 1959 -
Died June 26, 1997, at the age of 38)
Star Trek - Hidden Frontier Fansite -
watch some episodes!
"Live Long and Prosper!"
"AnkhIwiEmHotep" - "Life and Peace Be with you"
So, in a nutshell, here's what's going on: All Wiccans are witches, but not all witches are Wiccans. All Wiccans are Pagans, but not all Pagans are Wiccans.
Finally, some witches are Pagans, but some are not. Clear? Cool ;P
Put a pushpin on the map! Click above. 'OZ' wants to know where you are!