The Beach Boys

Put these to beach boys back together!




Click above


Sorry, only works with Internet Explorer.

The Old Couple

The two old boys were rocking back and forth on the front porch of the Happy Trails Gay Senior home. They had been together for more than 50 years, and now they enjoying their golden years at the retirement centre.

Slowly they rocked, in rhythm as this was their time to spend a few quiet moments and after years of practice they rocked to the same pace.

Suddenly Bruce stopped, grabbed his cane, and with a loud and hard WHACK hit Mort across the shins.

Poor old Mort's eyes watered and tears ran down his cheeks. When he finally caught his breath he gasped and asked, "What'd you do that fer?"

"That's fer fifty years of bad sex," Bruce said.

Mort just nodded his head, saying nothing.

Slowly they began to rock again. Again they kept pace. Back and forth, back and forth they rocked, until suddenly Mort stopped, and picked up his cane.

He reached over and with a loud, sharp WHACK, he hit Bruce across the shins.

As soon as Bruce's eyes quit watering and he could speak he asked, "What was that fer?"

"That," said Mort, as he began to rock again, "is fer knowin' the difference."

KEEPING MEN ON TARGET

A talking toilet that warns men about missing their target has become a hot seller in Germany.



Women fed up with men with a poor aim are reportedly particularly keen to buy the new gadget, according to the Herald Sun newspaper.

It is placed under the toilet rim and, if the seat is lifted, declares in a stern female tone:

"What are you up to then? Put the seat back down right away. You are definitely not to pee standing up ... you will make a right mess."

The talking toilet is set to be sold across Europe.

Students Set Naked Roller-Coaster Record

Coaster Does Up To 4 1/2 Gs

Thrill-seeking students went out Friday trying to set a new world record in Surrey, England riding a roller coaster naked.

Braving cold weather and pouring rain, 82 students took their clothes off and boarded one of England's toughest coasters.

It was a successful attempt to set the first world record for the largest number of people to ride a roller coaster naked.

The Nemesis Inferno ride is one of the fastest in the United Kingdom.

It includes several 360-degree turns along a 799-yard course and gravitational pulls up to 4½ times the level normally felt on earth.

Staff at the Thorpe Park theme park organized the event to coincide with the park's 25-year anniversary.

It's All Relative - Mourning the loss of a great show...

Click above to read more....

Cool Site 'O The Day...

Hey, are you a voyeur? Check out this site!

MetaSpy

Spy on what people are searching for... If you use the "Exposed" one, you will get the searches unfiltered... (You know... smut, weird searches etc....)

Ask The Wizard

Dear Wizard of OZ

My 12 year old daughter's new Dell Dimension 2400 pc had the sasser worm last month ( she forgot to tell me that her MacAfee virus free trial had expired).

I renewed the anti-virus program and it deleted the sasser worm. I then went to Microsoft updates and I thought I had downloaded the security patch for sasser .. but apparently , it did not install.

She told me last night that her pc was very slow downloading web pages so this morning I did another virus scan and the dang sasser was back. MacAfee deleted the worm.

I went back to the updates site and clicked on installation history and it said that the sasser worm patch failed to install.

I then tried to download the patch again ( KB840374) and again it failed to install - will download but when attempting to install , the screen says : something - something - files not found .

So ... what is going on ? What else do I need to do to prevent her pc from being infected by sasser ??? Why won't the patch install ???

Thanks,

Concerned Dad

Dear Sassy Dad

First, Did you go to the antivirus web site and read how to remove the worm? Many times you need a specific removal tool or program to do it right. I would suspect it isn't completely gone and that is why the patch won't install.

Second, The trial McAfee may not include auto virus updates. So, when new viruses come out, you may have to update it your self. But when you buy McAfee on line (which is better than a store bought disk for the same reasons) Your anti virus protection is updated automatically.

Third, Symantec (Norton) has a removal tool for the Sasser worm. It is at:
Secfurity Response
You will probably need to run the removal tool before the patch will install since the worm modifies the registry.

Yrs,

The Wizard

Winnipeg online banking users fall victim to Trojan

A Trojan horse may be responsible for an online banking scam that has cost at least two Winnipeg customers thousands of dollars.

The Winnipeg Police Service this week is investigating two cases where money was transferred unknowingly from bank accounts. One family charges that $2,500 has been taken from their account and a retired teacher in April reported $2,000 removed from his account without his knowledge. The department also has information pertaining to five other individuals who lost money with the same scam.

So far the police investigation is focused around a man who recently emigrated to Canada from an unidentified locale in Eastern Europe. However the police would not comment further for fear it would compromise their investigation.

According to computer security experts, online banking scams and identity theft are proliferating in this country. While Canadian e-banking customers have yet to see a surge in identity theft similar to the U.S., the banks say the onus is on consumers and enterprises to protect themselves.

"If you look at identity theft in Canada, there were 13,000 incidents last year up from 8,000 the year before. In the United States there was half a million and that [difference is] because Canadian banks really got it together early on. The cost of fraud is huge so the [banks] want to make sure it's taken care of. You've got five major banks in Canada — there's over 5,000 in the United States," said Rosaleen Citron, CEO of WhiteHat Inc. in Toronto. "[The U.S. banks] don't have the co-ordination and the governing rules and regulations the Canadian banks have put on themselves."

Keystroke loggers are the most frequently used tactic for crooks targeting banking information, said Tom Slodichak, chief security officer of WhiteHat Inc. in Toronto.

"Although a Web session with their financial institution is usually encrypted, the keystroke logger intercepts the keystrokes before any encryption occurs, so they will get all the information — the account numbers, the names, the passwords or PINs or whatever they need to impersonate that [individual]," he said.

Additionally, "phishing" expeditions — where users are directed to a mirror site of their bank, for example, and asked to input personal information — have become more common. Usually the users are lured to the mirror site via e-mail — they are sent a phony message telling them to log on to the site because they need to update their information, for example.

Fortunately, these scams are something enterprise users don't really have to worry about, Slodichak said.

"The enterprise is fairly well-protected. We've seen a real resurgence of back-to-basics philosophy on the part of IT departments where they're now practicing pro-active patch management — as soon as a patch is announced companies are patching systems — and this is in light of damages from virus-related activities in the last year or so," he said.

The next step is ensuring antivirus applications are updated often, he added.

However, the home user remains largely unprotected and less-inclined to engage in good security practices, Citron said.

"It's a question of educating the masses because the enterprise's largest threat comes from unpatched and non-virus-protected computers out in the home," Slodichak said. Employees working at home with insecure computers may unknowingly pass on malicious code to their companies.

The prevailing attitude among the banks surveyed by IT World Canada — the Royal Bank of Canada (RBC), the BMO Financial Group (BMO), Scotiabank and TD Group Financial Services (TD) and the Canadian Imperial Bank of Commerce (CIBC) — is that the bank's primary role is to educate customers about Internet security and identity theft.

"Customer education is far more important than knowing about individual cases. It requires daily vigilance on the part of the bank to educate our customers and we do that through our safe computing processes, which is prominently accessible on our Web site at all times," said Sharon Hodder, vice-president of Internet services at Scotiabank in Toronto.

Trojans AND Viruse AND Fraud..OH-MY!

Citron agrees. "The problem you're dealing with is not the amount of security the bank is putting up. Remember the bank isn't the one that is being affected here — it's the home user and they're being caught before they even connect to the bank," she said.

Hodder declined to comment whether any Scotiabank customers have been duped out of money through Internet scams.

The banks have mounted educational campaigns to teach the public about Internet security threats. For example, all five major Canadian banks — RBC, BMO, Scotiabank, CIBC and TD — have varying degrees of information on their Web sites ranging from instructing users how to get antivirus and firewall applications to security tips, updates and identity theft. However, the security information is generally linked at the bottom of the main Web page and is listed in very small font. The exception is CIBC which has no literature on its Web site about antivirus or firewalls. Its security section contains information about updating Web browsers, clearing a cache, cookies and enabling Java. However, that is about to change. CIBC spokesperson Rob McLeod said the bank will be updating its security section on its Web site to include information about firewalls and antivirus plus more safe computing guidelines.

TD has partnered with Symantec Corp. to provide a 90-day free trial of the security vendor's Norton antivirus and personal firewall. At the end of the trial Symantec offers the products at a discounted price to TD's online banking subscribers, said TD spokesperson Simon Townsend in Toronto.

RBC has previously partnered with Zero-Knowledge Systems Inc. firms for antivirus but there is no offer now for subscribers.

Judi Levita, a spokesperson for RBC in Toronto said the bank provides comprehensive information about safe computing practices and how to prevent financial fraud but some RBC customers have fallen victim to identity theft.

"We have about a quarter of million clients log in to online banking every week and we have had incidents where clients have engaged in high-risk activities and as a result have had their computers compromised. Anyone who is online needs to be aware that there are less than scrupulous people out there and they need to take precautions," Levita said.

Back in November 2003 hackers sent out mass e-mails hoping to targeting legitimate bank customers from Toronto-based BMO and Montreal-based Mouvement des Caisse Desjardins. The e-mails told consumers to click on a link to verify e-mail addresses, customer numbers, passwords and memorable data.

BMO, which learned of the scam from customers, contacted the Internet service provider hosting the spoof site, which immediately shut it down. Mouvement des Caisse Desjardins tracked down an Internet Service Provider (ISP) in Pennsylvania and had it close the other spoofed site.

"Its clear that phishing and the incidences of identity theft is growing and its a concern," said Robert Garigue, CSO at BMO in Toronto. "We see lots of activities on the Internet of organizations trying to collect people's identity by spoofing that looks official, whether its eBay, a bank or a municipality. They ask people to send it user names and passwords and usually you're redirected to the official site but on the way the Trojan collected your name and password and that is occurring a lot."

There's been an increase in these activities because networks are becoming more secure — there's a lot more security at the endpoints with firewalls and strong authentication from the service provider, he said. Additionally, Web sites are designed better nowadays and are more impervious to break-ins so criminals are finding it easier to target the consumer than the bank, Garigue said.

When asked about the prospect of the banks scanning user computers to check for up-to-date antivirus software both Garigue and Scotiabank's Hodder said that would be a violation of a user's privacy. Additionally, CIBC's McLeod indicated that the bank also does not plan to execute conduct system checks.

Overall, WhiteHat's Citron said the banks have done a great job in securing their networks.

"The Canadian banks are probably the best in the world when it comes to security," she said. "They have taken the big bank vaults from the 1940s and moved it out to the Internet. So they have probably the largest groups of anti-fraud, anti-criminal groups that you can imagine and they meet regularly — these guys have really got it going on."

More Bathroom Humour!

Click above to "Play with the POOP Machine!"

*Wizard's Note: Stay away from the pop rocks! Don't say you weren't warned! The Tapeworm gives you immunity!

Picture From Iraq

*Thanks, Rimsky =)

Gail and Eileen catfight in Corrie

Coronation Street's Gail and Eileen are to be seen brawling in the street when news of Todd's gay fling is revealed.



Gail (Helen Worth) is furious when she discovers Todd has been cheating on her pregnant daughter Sarah with male colleague Karl.

She storms over to the Grimshaws to confront Todd (Bruno Langley), calling him a 'two-timing, twisted, lying pervert'.



Gail, still wearing her towelling dressing gown, is stopped by Todd's mother Eileen Grimshaw (Sue Cleaver) who throws a punch at Gail, leaving her reeling.

The episode is being screened next Sunday on CBC.

Mother fined while getting ticket

A young mother has reportedly been given a parking fine because she took too long to get a car park ticket.

Victoria Annand took some time to get to the ticket machine because she had to take her two-year-old daughter out of the car, put her coat on and comfort her when she started crying. There was also a queue for tickets at the machine, says the Sun.

But that didn't stop two wardens ticketing her with a £30 fine in the meantime.

Ms Annand said: "I couldn't believe it. One of the attendants was like a little Hitler. There were no signs saying there were any time limits."

She has now appealed to council chiefs in Birkenhead, Merseyside.

A Wirral Council spokesman said: "On occasion parking tickets can be issued mistakenly. There is a fair appeals procedure."

Something To Offend Everyone...

Best Smart-ass Answers!

Smart-ass Answer #1:

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat, she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub."



Smart-ass Answer #2:

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."



Smart-ass Answer #3:

The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well, I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.



Smart-ass Answer #4:

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, 'Low bridge ahead.' Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."



and finally:

Smart-ass Answer #5, THE TEACHER SMART-ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR:

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asks, "What would you say if tomorrow, I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"

The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Well, I guess I'd say you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."



How Jews got the 10 Commandments

God went to the Arabs and said, "I have Commandments for you that will make your lives better." And the Arabs asked, "what are Commandments ?" And the Lord said, "They are rules for living." "Can you give us an example ?" "Thou shalt not kill " "Not kill ? We're not interested."



So the Lord went to the blacks and said, "I have Commandments for you" And the Blacks wanted an example, and the Lord said, "Honor thy Father and Mother" "Father ? We don't know who our fathers are."



So the Lord went to the Mexicans and said, "I have Commandments for you." And the mexicans wanted an example, and the Lord said, "Thou shalt not steal." "Not steal ? We're not interested."



The Lord went to the French and said, I have Commandments for you. The French wanted an example and the Lord said, "Thou shall not commit adultery." "Not commit adultery ? We're not interested."



The Lord went to the Jews and said, "I have Commandments for you." "Commandments ?" , they said, "How much are they ?" "They're free" "We'll take 10!"



This One is very 'Punny!'

This piece of string walks into a bar. But he's hardly through the door when the bartender yells, "Hey, String! Get outta here!" Hours later, the piece of string is still trying to find a drink. So he ruffles his ends and contorts himself. As he goes into yet another bar, the bartender says, "Are you a piece of string?" The piece of string says, "No, I'm a frayed knot."

*Thanks LEO =)

Stephen Harper Said:

More quotes (in context), can be found at www.stephenharpersaid.ca

Roy Horn Makes Public Appearance

WCAU-TV8:22 a.m. EDT May 18, 2004 - During NBC's annual presentation of its new fall lineup Monday, magician Roy Horn made his first public appearance since his October 2003 mauling by a tiger.



Video of the appearance first aired on Tuesday's "Today" Show.

A stroke specialist not associated with Horn told Katie Couric that Horn had apparently made impressive strides in his recovery and his speech pattern didn't seem to be affected bya stroke Horn suffered after the accident.

Horn appeared via satellite Monday to an audience of advertisers in New York to discuss an animated series about the animals on Siegfried and Roy's Las Vegas show.

"Father of the Pride" will take over the "Frasier" time slot at 9 p.m. Tuesday. The animated series is about lions that perform in Siegfried and Roy's stage show, as well as other animals living with the pair's Las Vegas complex.

Horn had glasses on, wore a short haircut and didn't move his left arm during the interview.

But Horn spoke often and made several jokes about the series, as he and Fischbacher sat in chairs. Both briefly acknowledged the miracle of his recovery during the interview.

Zucker also said Horn would be appearing this fall on NBC to discuss his accident and recovery in detail.

The pair had said previously that their successful stage act in Las Vegas is probably done, due to the extent of Horn's injuries from the attack.

NBC was the first of the broadcast networks to announce its schedule, part of a full week of such unveilings to advertisers, who are then expected to buy some $9 billion worth of commercial time. ABC and the WB are up Tuesday.

After losing two of its signature comedies, NBC will add five new series in the fall, casting Heather Locklear as an airport chief and bringing a crime drama back to the 50th state.

Star Wars Episode III

Click above to download your own Star Wars Episode III Countdown Clock. File requires WinZip to open. If you do not have WinZip, Send me an email and i will send the file to you.

Gay couples exchange vows in Massachusetts

Tanya McCloskey, right, and Marcia Kadish embrace after their marriage ceremony in Cambridge, Mass., on Monday, which was among the first in the state.

CAMBRIDGE, Mass. - Elated and in some cases incredulous at making history, gays and lesbians by the dozens exchanged vows and were pronounced “partners for life” Monday as Massachusetts became the first state to let same-sex couples marry.

The nuptials ranged from quick city-hall ceremonies to ornate weddings in downtown Boston churches, complete with champagne and fancy cakes. Among the touches: matching orange bow ties, rainbow flags and confetti, the Boston Gay Men’s Chorus singing “Marry Us,” and a special rendition of “Here Come the Brides.”

“When everybody wakes up tomorrow and sees nothing bad happened — it’s the same world it was the day before, there are only more people that are equal to them — they’re going to see there was nothing to fear,” Sheldon Goldstein said after obtaining a marriage license.

Fewer than a half-dozen countries allow same-sex couples to marry.

Conservatives outraged
Only a few protesters bothered to show up in Massachusetts, but some conservative leaders expressed outrage, and President Bush renewed his call for Congress to pass a constitutional amendment banning gay marriages nationwide.

“The documents being issued all across Massachusetts may say ‘marriage license’ at the top, but they are really death certificates for the institution of marriage,” said James Dobson, founder of the conservative Christian lobbying group Focus on the Family.

For all the jubilation, the hundreds of couples who received licenses still confront uncertainty, perhaps lasting years.

Massachusetts lawmakers have taken initial steps toward letting voters decide in 2006 whether to ban same-sex marriages and instead define such partnerships as civil unions. It is not known how the marriages that occur between now and 2006 will be recognized if the ban occurs.

And even though the proposed federal amendment is considered a long shot, many states are trying to ensure — in the face of expected lawsuits — that they will not have to recognize gay marriages from Massachusetts or any other state.

Among the first to marry, under a rainbow flag at a Boston church with the Boston Gay Men’s Chorus, were Robert Compton and David Wilson. They were one of the seven couples whose lawsuit prompted the state high court to rule in favor of gay marriage in its landmark November decision. An excerpt from the Supreme Judicial Court decision was read as an invocation at the Unitarian Universalist church.

For one, a trip ‘with a million speed bumps’
Compton called it “a journey that seems like a million miles with a million speed bumps.”

The decision by the Supreme Judicial Court prompted months of bitter political debate in the Massachusetts Legislature and in statehouses nationwide, even spilling into the presidential race and into congressional politics. Bush and Democratic candidate John Kerry of Massachusetts both oppose gay marriage, but Kerry supports civil unions.

Gov. Mitt Romney, a Republican opposed to same-sex marriage, had instructed Massachusetts town clerks to deny marriage licenses to all nonresident couples. However, officials in three municipalities said they would issue licenses to any couples who attested they knew of no impediment to their marriage.

From Cape Cod to Beacon Hill
In Provincetown, a gay tourist spot at the tip of Cape Cod, two Anniston, Ala., men were first in line outside the town hall. “This is the most important day of my life,” said Chris McCary, 43.

On Boston’s Beacon Hill, Julie and Hillary Goodridge — the lead plaintiffs in the landmark lawsuit — were married by a Unitarian Universalist minister in the presence of ecstatic supporters and their 8-year-old daughter, Annie, who served as ring-bearer and flower girl.

“This isn’t changing marriage. This is just opening the door,” said Hillary Goodridge, 48.

Robin Ochs, who wept with joy while marrying partner Peg Preble in Brookline, said the idea that their marriage might be overturned “makes me nauseous.”

“But that’s not something I want to think about today, because today is a day for love and happiness and wonderful things,” she said. “It’s not a day for thinking about hateful people or people that don’t get it.”

Cambridge starts early
Cambridge, a liberal bastion across the Charles River from Boston, got the jump on the rest of the state by beginning to issue applications for marriage licenses at the first possible moment: the stroke of midnight.

Among the first to get their paperwork there were Tanya McCloskey, 52, and Marcia Radish, 56, partners for 18 years. They filled out forms, obtained a waiver from the usual three-day waiting period, then returned to city hall to get their marriage license and exchange vows.

“It was really important to us to just be married,” McCloskey said before the wedding. “We want to be married as soon as we possibly can. Part of it is, we don’t know what the Legislature is going to do.”

At 9:15 a.m., Cambridge City Clerk Margaret Drury told the couple: “I now pronounce you married under the laws of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts.”

Ray McNulty, a spokesman for the Massachusetts Family Institute, one of the leading organizers of opposition to same-sex marriage, criticized some of the protesters, saying there was no need for hateful speech.

“What’s going on down there is legal, and as far as I’m concerned, give those people their happiness for the day,” McNulty said.

Massachusetts was thrust into the center of a nationwide debate on gay marriage when the state’s Supreme Judicial Court ruled 4-3 in November that gays and lesbians had a right under the state constitution to wed.

In the days leading to Monday’s deadline for same-sex weddings to begin, opponents looked to the federal courts for help in overturning the ruling. On Friday, the U.S. Supreme Court declined to intervene.

The Massachusetts court’s ruling also galvanized opponents of gay marriage in Massachusetts, prompting lawmakers in this heavily Democratic, Roman Catholic state to adopt a state constitutional amendment that would ban same-sex marriage but legalize Vermont-style civil unions. The earliest it could wind up on the ballot is 2006 — possibly casting a shadow on the legality of gay marriages taking place in the intervening years.

The first couple to receive marriage paperwork was Marcia Hams, 56, and her partner, Susan Shepherd, 52, of Cambridge. After 27 years together, they sat at a table across from a city official shortly after midnight, filling out forms as their adult son looked on.

“I feel really overwhelmed,” Hams said. “I could collapse at this point.”

Same Sex Marriage Timeline In MA:
Some important dates in the gay marriage debate in Massachusetts

April 11, 2001

Seven same-sex couples, denied marriage licenses, sue in Suffolk Superior Court in Boston to challenge the state's gay marriage ban.

May 8, 2002

Suffolk Superior Court judge rules against granting marriage licenses to seven gay couples, saying the legality of same-sex marriage should be decided by the Legislature, not the courts.

July 17, 2002

Lawmakers adjourn constitutional convention without taking a vote on amendment that would have banned gay marriage in the state. The amendment was initiated by a petition signed by 130,000 citizens.

March 4, 2003

The state Supreme Judicial Court hears arguments in case brought by the seven gay couples to legalize same-sex marriage.

Nov. 18, 2003

The SJC rules it is unconstitutional to bar gay couples from marriage, and gives the Legislature 180 days to come up with a solution to allow gays to wed. President Bush, in a visit to London, criticizes the decision and vows to work with Congress to "defend the sanctity of marriage."

Dec. 11, 2003

The Massachusetts Senate votes to ask the SJC if Vermont-style civil unions would satisfy the court's decision legalizing gay marriage.

Feb. 4, 2004

The SJC clarifies its earlier ruling, saying only full, equal marriage rights for gay couples — rather than civil unions — are constitutional.

Feb. 11, 2004

Massachusetts Legislature opens constitutional convention with debate on a proposed constitutional ban on gay marriage.

Feb. 12, 2004

Lawmakers adjourn convention deadlocked, after failing to pass three separate proposed bans on same-sex marriage.

March 11, 2004

Lawmakers recess constitutional convention, but come steps closer to passing a proposed constitutional amendment that would ban gay marriage and allow for civil unions. Legislators agree to reconvene on March 29.

March 29, 2004

State Legislature approves proposed constitutional amendment that would ban gay marriage but legalize Vermont-style civil unions.

May 17, 2004

Marriages of gay couples begin.

Out-of-state gay couples are likely to challenge Massachusetts’ 1913 marriage statute, which bars nonresident couples from marrying in Massachusetts if the union would be illegal in their home state. Republican Gov. Mitt Romney, who opposes gay marriage, has said that clerks who give licenses to nonresidents may face legal implications.

“All along, I have said an issue as fundamental to society as the definition of marriage should be decided by the people,” he said Monday. “Until then, I intend to follow the law and expect others to do the same.”

Still, officials in Provincetown, Worcester and Somerville, have said they will not enforce Romney’s order and will give licenses to any couples who ask, as long as they sign the customary affidavit attesting that they know of no impediment to their marriage.

Sure enough, Chris McCary, 43, and his partner of six years, John Sullivan, 37, of Anniston, Ala., were first in line outside town hall in Provincetown on Monday morning. “This is the most important day of my life,” said McCary.

The SJC’s ruling touched off a frenzy of gay marriages across the country earlier this year. Even though courts ordered a halt to the wedding march, opponents pushed for a federal constitutional ban on gay marriage, which President Bush has endorsed.

Impact in November
Both sides in the debate say the issue may figure prominently in the November elections across the country.

Candidates for Congress could face pressure to explain their position on the proposed federal constitutional ban, and voters in several states will consider similar amendments to their state constitutions.

In Massachusetts, married couples are entitled to hundreds of rights under state law. But federal rights are not available to gay married couples because federal law defines marriage as between a man and a woman.

The Netherlands, Belgium, Denmark, and Canada’s three most populous provinces are among the only places in the world where gays can marry.

This is a major win for the GLBT community. Pretty soon we shal be as accepted as the str8 folks. Maybe even we could hold hands in the street, eh? NAH! We'll have to fight for that too!

Gas Prices

Gas has just hit close to $1.00 a Litre - Campbell River is at 96.5 - Nanaimo at 91.5. If you want gasoline prices to come down we need to take some intelligent, united action. Phillip Hollsworth, offered this good idea: This makes MUCH MORE SENSE than the 'don't buy gas on a certain day campaign' that was going around last April or May! The oil companies just laughed at that because they knew we wouldn't continue to hurt ourselves by refusing to buy gas. It was more of an inconvenience to us than it was a problem for them. BUT, whoever thought of this idea, has come up with a plan that can really work. Please read it and join the crusade!

By now you're probably thinking gasoline priced at $.80 a litre is super cheap. We all know that we're being screwed by the oil companies. Does everyone remember how they drove up the prices way past a dollar and got the gas prices to where they wanted them, claiming there was a shortage of oil. Well, there isn't any shortage - the oil is more abundant than it was 35 years ago when the price of a litre of gas was 29 cents!!!

Now that the oil companies and the OPEC nations have conditioned us to think that the cost of a litre of gas is CHEAP at $0.78-$0.85, we need to take aggressive action to teach them that BUYERS control the marketplace....not sellers. With the price of gasoline going up more each day, we consumers need to take action. The only way we are going to see the price of gas come down is if we hit someone in the pocketbook by not purchasing their gas! And we can do that WITHOUT hurting ourselves. How? Since we all rely on our cars, we can't just stop buying gas. But we CAN have an impact on gas prices if we all act together to force a price war.

For the rest of this year, DON'T purchase ANY gasoline from the two biggest companies (which are now one), PETRO CANADA and SHELL. If they are not selling any gas, they will be inclined to reduce their prices. If they reduce their prices, the other companies will have to follow suit. But to have an impact, we need to reach literally millions of PETRO CANADA and SHELL buyers. Its really simple to do!!

I am posting this note as I believe it will reach more than if I email 10 people as I get more than 30 hits in a day. Please feel free to pass on my blog address: http://bbogdan.blogspot.com . If each of you send it to at least ten more (50 x 10 = 500) ... and those 500 send it to at least ten more (500 x 10 = 5,000)...and so on, by the time the message reaches the sixth generation of people, we will have reached over THREE MILLION consumers! If those three million get excited and pass this on to ten friends each, then 30 million people will have been contacted!

Please send this to 10 people.

How long would all that take? If each of you sends this email out to ten people within one day of receipt, all MILLIONS of people could conceivably be contacted within the next 8 days!!! Acting together we can make a difference. If this makes sense to you, please pass this message on.

PLEASE HOLD OUT UNTIL THEY LOWER THEIR PRICES TO THE $0.64 OR LESS RANGE AND KEEP THEM DOWN. THIS CAN REALLY WORK BUT WE NEED TO WORK TOGETHER!!!!!!!

Kate's set goes up in smoke

Kate Winslet was caught up in a real life drama on the set of upcoming movie Romance and Cigarettes - when a fire broke out.

According to Teenhollywood the actress was filming a fantasy sequence with on-screen love interest James Gandolfini in which he dreams of becoming a firefighter and rescuing her from a burning building.

In between takes, the special effects sparked onto a beam in the abandoned building and started burning.

Luckily a group of off-duty New York firefighters were on set to serenade Winslet in the scene and were able to rush to the aid of the panicking film crew.

A movie insider says, "Kate was never in any real danger."

Trucks from a nearby FDNY rushed to the set and actor Steve Buscemi, who was a fireman before starting his acting career, also helped dampen the flames.

Fortunately no-one was hurt during the fire, which took an hour to put out.

Joke Of The Day...

A certain zoo had acquired a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks the gorilla, a female, became very ornery, and difficult to handle. Upon examination, the zoo veterinarian determined the problem: she was in heat. What to do? There was no male of this species available.

While reflecting on their problem, the zoo administrators noticed Mike, an employee responsible for cleaning the animals' cages. Now Mike, it was rumored, possessed ample ability to satisfy any female, and he wasn't very bright. So the zoo administrators thought they might have a solution. Perhaps they could entice Mike to satisfy the female gorilla. So he was approached with a proposition: would he be willing to screw the gorilla--for five hundred bucks? Mike replied that he might be interested, but would have to think the matter over.

The following day, Mike announced that he would accept their offer, but only under three conditions:

"First," he said, "I don't want to have to kiss her," and "Second, I want nothing to do with any offspring that may result from this union."

The zoo administration quickly acceded to these conditions, but what could be the third?

"Well," said Mike, "You've gotta give me another week to come up with the five hundred bucks."

Tony Randall dead at 84

Click above to read more...

Tears Of Joy At First Gay Marriage Licenses

(Boston, Massachusetts) The city of Cambridge, Massachusetts, Monday became the first community in America to issue marriage license forms to same-sex couples.

Cambridge Mayor Michael Sullivan threw open the doors of city hall about 10 p.m. Sunday night and invited dozens of same-sex couples into the building for a celebration to countdown the minutes until midnight.

There was a three-tiered wedding cake, pastries, and to wash it down, sparkling cider and coffee. The Cambridge Community Chorus, the Greater Boston Lesbian Chorus, and a choir made up of children from several Cambridge elementary schools performed.

Couples were given numbers as they entered the second floor reception room. At the stroke of midnight, the first number was called.

Marcia Hams, 56, and her partner, Susan Shepherd, 52, entered the history books as the first same-sex couple in America to legally apply for a marriage licence. The couple arrived at city hall 24 hours earlier just to be able to claim the honor.

As the women were handed their marriage applications Hams said she was nervous.

"I'm shaking so much," she said as she filled out the form. "I could collapse at this point."

As each couple was given the forms to fill out, the line grew longer.

By dawn 250 couples had completed the forms, the first step in getting married. They must return to city hall in three days to pick up their licenses and then are able to legally marry.

As the couples left city hall huge cheers went up from well-wishers gathered outside. Police estimate the crowd at about 10,000, many of them straight.

Riot police stood by in case of trouble but only a handful of anti-gay marriage protestors showed up.

Cambridge originally intended to jumpstart issuing licenses long before today. Soon after the Supreme Judicial Court ruling last November that struck down the state's ban on gay marriage Cambridge began looking at ways to immediately issue licenses.

On the advice of its attorney, however, council decided to wait until today. Nevertheless it vowed to be the first community in the state and the country to begin issuing the licenses.

With their marriage applications in their hands several couples dashed to court seeking a waiver of the three-day waiting period to wed.

Among them were Tanya McCloskey, 52 and Marcia Kadish, 56. Once they had a judge's permission they rushed back to Cambridge city hall, got their marriage license and and exchanged vows in a ceremony performed by the city clerk.

''It was really important to us to just be married. We want to be married as soon as we possibly can. Part of it is, we don't know what the Legislature is going to do,'' McCloskey said.

Across the Charles River hundreds of people formed a long line in front of Boston city hall.

Meanwhile...

Bush Denounces Gay Weddings

(Washington) President George W. Bush isn't sending bouquets to same-sex couples marrying today in Massachusetts, the first state to legally endorse gay unions.

In a statement released as the President was observing the 50th anniversary of the landmark civil rights ruling in Brown V The Topeka Board of Education Bush accused Congress of foot dragging in passing a constitutional amendment limiting the rights of gays.

"I called on the Congress to pass, and to send to the states for ratification, an amendment to our Constitution defining and protecting marriage as a union of a man and a woman as husband and wife," the president's statement said.

"The need for that amendment is still urgent, and I repeat that call today."

"The sacred institution of marriage should not be redefined by a few activist judges," Bush said referring to the justices of the Supreme Court of Massachusetts which struck down that state's ban on gay marriage.

Pee Wee Herman is Back !!!

"Is it you or is it me?"

Paul Reuben has been awarded a contract with WDLC-TV in Denmark to resurrect his old TV show "Pee Wee's Playhouse". It was near the tail end of his five-year syndicated Saturday morning television series when he was arrested for indecent exposure in a darkened theatre in lower Manhattan's Hell's Kitchen. Amid scorn and ridicule, he was quickly banished from America's airwaves, leaving his many mostly adult fans with little to do on Saturday mornings other than flip channels on the incessant Bugs Bunny reruns.

Inside sources reveal that many of the former characters of the original Playhouse will be invited back, albeit, the larger stars in limited guest roles only, due to scheduling conflicts. Cowboy Curtis (Laurence Fishburne) will appear in the first episode along with Miss Yvonne, and Reba the Mail Lady (S. Epatha Merkerson).

Laurence (Larry) Fishburne as Cowboy Curtis


S. Epatha Merkerson as Reba the Mail Lady


Phill Hartman was the voice of Captain Karl

Plot lines will be a little different this time around as indicated by the new title of the show, "Pee Wee's Theatre" (for obvious reasons). It will be held in a darkened theatre with the prerequisite mirrors on the shoes in attendance as well as Pee Wee's infamous Live chair, where Pee Wee will, each week, be sitting, deftly played by George Michael, an interesting choice, no?

When contacted, Reuben was found to be excited and upbeat, working diligently on securing guest stars for his second and third episodes. When asked what we could expect from his first episode, Paul replied..

"I love Denmark, don't you?! As I had during my original series, I have complete creative control of this series. The idea in this one though is more of a Reality TV based theme, it will be in a theatre and in the first episode the first row will be comprised of twelve-year old boys watching the Michael Jackson video, ‘Beat It, Beat It!' I was typecast into the genre of children's programming.

This time around, I want my audience to be made up of mostly adults and as before, I will end each show wheeling down a dark alley on my bicycle, barking dogs and winos (not barking) giving chase."

When Producers of "Pee Wee's Theatre" were contacted, Ejvan Pedersen, Senior Vice President of Global Marketing at WDLC-TV indicated that...

"I....er...I mean WE are geared up to take all syndication orders. I also want to add that we are looking for Pamela Anderson and Dennis Rodman's phone and email addresses. LATOYA STOP CALLING!!! "

The first episode will be aired June 26, 2004 in his old time slot of 9 a.m. Syndication will re-broadcast at 3 a.m. When major American cable companies were contacted with inquiries to availability, only Tennessee and Arkansas had signed on.

Gates fires God. Jesus too.

"Lord .. I've got some bad news"

(Redmond, WA) God was let go today in a move that analysts say is sure to send ripples throughout not only the software industry but the very Cosmos itself. Blaming rising costs and falling profits Microsoft Chairman Bill Gates reluctantly gave the Heavenly Father his "walking papers".

Gates explained...
"Although we never actually SAW the Lord we all knew He was there. God did an excellent job during His tenure with us. He in fact invented Windows XP. He's mighty proud of that one. Hopefully He'll find work soon. I hear Apple is hiring."

Christian groups worldwide are protesting the firing. Reverend Jessie Jackson on Meet the Press openly expressed his outrage and indignation by biting the head off a live chicken. Gates, when asked if Jesus worked for Microsoft too replied, "Not anymore. I'm sorry for all the hardworking employees that we had to let go but with weekly profits barely reaching the billion dollar mark we had to do something. Gold plated drinking fountains don't come cheaply these days."

Apple CEO Steve Jobs told reporters that while his company did not need a Cosmic Deity at the present time that he would take God's resume and let the Heavenly Father know if “something came up".

Reverend Jerry Falwell is asking worshipers this Sunday to "put a little something extra" in the collection plates ... "for the Lord".

'The Day After Tomorrow' Destroys Record Before Release, Wins Dubious Award

LA, NY, Montreal (FP) - Twentieth Century Fox's global warming disaster epic has completely annihilated a previous film record before even being released for public consumption. The $125 million Hollywood blockbuster has ironically won the 'Greenwasher Award' for 2004.

Greenwashers are the adversaries of environmentally responsible consumers. Through marketing and public relations, greenwashers fool the public into mistaking hollow claims for genuine environmental commitment.

'Tomorrow' devoured resources at an unprecedented rate producing waste of biblical proportions. Of course, all feature length movies have been this way, but this project set new highs by reaching new lows.

And Bush did nothing to stop it!

But the real responsibility falls on the film's director Roland Emerich. Judging by his comments on the official movie website, it appears there was no real leadership concerning environmental issues before shooting began.

"At some point during the filming we looked around at all the lights, generators and trucks and we realized, the very process of making this picture is contributing to the problem of global warming."

At what point during the filming did they realize this? Half-way? Three-quarters? Six-sevenths?

With earth in the balance, and with this subject being the very essence of the movie, all of this should have been taken into account BEFORE start of production and not an "Oh, yeah?!" moment after the damage had already been done.

The dirty laundry list of resources used and waste produced is longer than the number of liberals who own and drive gas guzzling SUVs. It's even worse and makes one shed a tear when the participants brag about how much damage they caused to make the movie.

Production designer Barry Chusid says in an article from cineworld.co.uk, "... we run the gamut of sets from small interior helicopter cockpits to a snowy street scene in New Delhi to a 15,000 square foot Manhattan Public Library."

Personal self-fulfillment seems to have taken over his sense of environmental responsibilitiy. Chusid continues, "... there were so many intricacies just due to the scale of the sets and effects, that it became, at times, overwhelming to see just how far you could stretch yourself and your department.”

And how far you could stretch Earth's resources too, Mr. Chusid? Hmmm?!

Chusid and his staff took a whole city block just north of downtown Montreal and turned it into a New Delhi marketplace. The site was littered with artifacts, rickshaws and automobiles that were shipped all the way from India specifically for that scene.

Can you imagine the resources consumed to ship all this stuff half-way across the globe? For a movie scene? Where is the outcry?!

The devastation continues...

"Costume designer Renee April clothed over 1,000 extras in native Indian costumes and Neil Corbould’s special (physical) effects crew took care of providing the snow for the day."

What does it take to care for 1,000 extras? How many animals were slaughtered to feed them all? Did the food cause flatulence (as in cows) producing ozone-killing methane? How may fiber-glass portable toilets were used? What happened to all that human waste?

And what was all that snow made of? Was it real or fake? If fake, what chemicals were needed to make it? Was it edible? Was it shipped to the dump afterwards or recycled?

These are serious questions needing serious answers, and the government should form an exploratory committee researching these atrocities. And they should also grill Bush as to why he did absolutely nothing to stop it.

The future of Earth gets more and more bleak as light is shone on the massive sets needed and built for this covert PSA disguised as entertainment...

"Two of Chusid’s other huge undertakings were the interior and exterior of the Manhattan Public Library (that totaled 50,000 square feet) and a frozen Russian freighter which makes its way up Fifth Avenue.

For the exterior of the library, Chusid designed a Manhattan streetscape that led up to the massive stone steps to the library. The streetscape and the 100’ x 60’ library facade set piece were built inside the huge water tank used for an epic flood sequence. The library interior was composed of several other mammoth set pieces housed in several different stage facilities around Montreal."

Can you imagine the deforestation and pollutants released in forming materials needed for all of this? It boggles the mind how certain individuals/entities get away with raping Mother Earth for the sake of a good cause (or a profit-driven movie).

Does the end [of Earth] justify the means?

The cineworld.co.uk continues to report the atrocities committed by the producers who had blatant disregard for Nature...

"For the hailstones (that ranged in size from grapefruit to bowling ball) that batter Tokyo, Corbould and his crew bought hundreds of blocks of ice and carved each hailstone according to the sizes needed for the scene. They created a hurricane sequence set in Kona, Hawaii using giant wind machines, numerous rain towers and an elaborate cable and hydraulic ram system to facilitate the flapping and flying of pieces of the beach shack.

By far, the film’s biggest practical effect was the flooded New York street sequence. Countless crew members from several departments working seven days a week for six weeks began the tank construction by joining and reinforcing 3.5 foot high concrete road barriers around the perimeter of the Manhattan street set. Then a waterproof membrane was sprayed on to seal the barrier.

Once it was “water-ready,” the filmmakers filled the tank with 250,000 gallons of water that was heated and filtered.

A second “holding” tank was built behind the set that was filled with another 150,000 gallons of water. Ten spinning rain tower heads were laid out high above the set and were hooked into the elaborate pumping system that essentially recycled the water in the two tanks at a rate in excess of 5,000 gallons a minute. For added effect, two big V-8 wind machines were each mounted on a “zoom boom” (forklift-type mechanism) which allowed the wind machines to be raised as high as twenty feet in the air and positioned as close or as far away from the action as needed."

Not only was there a systematic scheme from the top for polluting and wasting resources, it's apparent that the everyday Joe's working the set were ill-trained and ill-equipped to work responsibly.

Arjay Smith, an actor in the film, recalls in a romanticmovies.about.com article, "... one day one of our actor’s trailers blew up..."

When asked what happened he replied, "I guess somebody wasn’t watching the amount of gas they were putting in when they refueled."

This is not only disgraceful, but intolerable and even offensive. He says he "guesses" this is what happened? Why doesn't he "know"?! Wasn't there an OSHA investigation? Or is it a cover-up conspiracy laced with bribes and kick-backs?

Is there any sense of responsibility (and ACCOUNTABILITY) with those involved in this crime against Earth/Nature titled 'The day After Tomorrow?' Apparently not.

In the Cineworld interview, Sela Ward, an actress in the partially-outsourced-to-Canada movie is quoted as saying, ... there is a real solid basis for what it [the movie] is saying: if we don’t take care of our planet now she won’t be around very long to take care of us anymore. It’s a sobering thought and I think it’s one the audience is going to think about when they come out of the theater and say ‘Whew…hey I’m glad that was just a movie.’”

Yeah, an audience who had to drive there (and back) in their gas-guzzling, emission-producing automobiles! To a theater multiplex building that gobbles up even more resources to show the film while also cooking popcorn and hot-dogs and serving sodas and candy which makes people even fatter! And don't forget the video arcade sucking up electricity which is produced at large factories owned by evil giant energy corporations!

And this is just one movie of dozens being regurgitated out of Hollywood's fat belly after it gorges itself on our children's future resources for the sake of the almighty cinema dollar.

If "big entertainment" were REALLY interested in saving Earth, they would have made the movie a hand-drawn cartoon shown on TV where people didn't have to go somewhere to watch it. Better yet, director Emmerich should have walked to each house in the country offering to perform it as a one-man mime act.

Not admitting accountability, the movie's web site offers the people a band-aid, "We couldn't avoid putting CO2 into the atmosphere during the shoot but we discovered that we could do something to make up for it; we could make the film CarbonNeutral."

They've partnered with an outfit called Future Forests who claim they can help you become "CarbonNeutral." Some ways that you can achieve this goal with these guys are by purchasing their CarbonNeutral Pin Badge for US$5.53, and by buying products off their site such as soap, a baby hat, monkey shoes, and much much more.

It was not disclosed how much money the movie producers had to pay out to become CarbonNeutral. I'm sure it had to be in the millions. It was also not offered as to whether the movie budget covered all the actors, crews of decorators, craftsmen, laborers and technicians, or if they all had to be personally responsible for their own CarbonNeutralization.

Sources on Capital Hill are murmuring about a new governmental agency being formed which would send "Carbon Agents" to each household who would asses the carbon output and levy a "neutralization tax" to offset said output.

Future Forest's site also offers a form you can fill out (while providing a credit-card number) to donate $1 to cover the carbon cost of your little jaunt to the theater. Of course, the form doesn't take into account whether you went in an electric car, a hybrid, a Hummer, or a 1953 "Golden Jubilee" model Ford tractor. I guess they figure that it all evens out in the end... I guess.

Director Roland Emmerich sat down with me for an exclusive interview about all this, but would only talk about one thing - the upcoming U.S. presidential election. So we asked him who he wants to win.

"Anyone but Bush." Puzzled, I repeated his answer back to him in the form of a question. "That's right," he responded, "I bought a bumper sticker with that on it. I liked it because he's (Bush) killing Earth and making our children sick."

When asked if he would vote for Dick Cheney he sarcastically said yes then asked if I was crazy. After pointing out that Cheney is someone other than Bush, Roland just rolled his eyes and said, "Don't be stupid."

I asked if he would support John Ashcroft or Pat Buchanan seeing that they too are persons other than Bush. The director just directed his icy cold stare at me. If I weren't smarter, I would have sworn that he had become snap frozen.

"What about John Kerry? Support him?" I asked. "Now you're just getting mean," he replied with his face turning red like hot molten magma. Then I asked if that slogan made any real logical sense once you thought about it. There was no audible response, but his blooshot eyes said it all.

Sensing that my personal environment was becoming unstable and that time was running out, I quickly posed one last question, "In order to produce this movie, what did it feel like to be in bed with the same organization that produces the Fox News Channel?"

Roland exploded up out of his seat, blasted a tidal wave of obscenities at me and stormed outside. I can now attest to the fact that rapid dramatic climate change is not only possible, but it really happens. I have lived it.

Mr. Emmerech was seen in the parking lot apparently trying to scrape a bumper sticker off the windshield with his fingernails. He finally gave up, gave a shriek of frustration toward heaven, and screeched off in his 2004 Lexus GX 470.

Well, maybe we can finish the interview in a couple of days. My schedule appears to be open the day after tomorrow.

We Are Here To Free You...

Russian Museum to Exhibit Rasputin’s Penis

Moscow News


Pretty Ugly Guy to be such a 'Lover'....

The first Russian museum of erotica is opening in St. Petersburg, Russian Nezavisimaya Gazeta daily reports. The museum is founded by Igor Knyazkin, the chief of the prostate research center of the Russian Academy of Natural Sciences.

Knyazkin told the newspaper that museums of sex and erotica exist in many European countries and he wanted Russia to be a civilized country with a view on the future and with correct views on erotica.

[Weird Fact: The largest penis in the animal kingdom belongs to the mighty blue whale. He is no less than 11 feet of fully functional hot whale action. What! Not Mine????? I could swear it was mine! =)]

There is one exhibit in the museum which makes Knyazkin be especially proud of. This is the 30-centimeter preserved penis of Grigory Rasputin. “Having this exhibit, we can stop envying America, where Napoleon Bonaparte’s penis is now kept. … Napoleon’s penis is but a small ”pod“ it cannot stand comparison to our organ of 30 centimeters…” the head of the museum said.

[Weird Facts: Actual amount of semen per ejaculation: one to two teaspoons. Average number of times a man will ejaculate in his lifetime: 7200. Average number of times he will ejaculate from masturbation: 2000. Average total amount of lifetime ejaculate: 14 gallons. Average speed of ejaculation: 28 miles per hour.(Who measures and collects this data?)]

For those who don't 'speak' metric... and we never measure our penises in metric?!!
30cm = 11.7inches... Bigger than YOUR boyfriend's?

Rasputin, nicknamed “Mad Monk” by historians was born in 1869 in Siberia, arrived in St. Petersburg in 1911 and within a few years had become one of the most influential men in government circles. His rise to preeminence was due to his close relationship with Nicholas II’s wife, Alexandra. The heir to the throne suffered from hemophaelia, and only Rasputin could stop the boy’s bleeding. Because of this, Alexandra believed he was a holy man sent to protect Alexis and she kept him close by at all times.

[Weird Fact: Men say the average erect penis is ten inches. Women say it's four inches. But what about girth, people? What about girth?(What does that mean for us queers?!!)]

However, many historians point to the unusual cult that Rasputin practiced at the Emperors’ court — a strange mixture of Christianity and sexual practices. Many of the noble women were believed to be in sexual relations with Rasputin, possibly including the Empress.

[Weird Fact: Odors that increase blood flow to the penis: lavender, licorice, chocolate, doughnuts, pumpkin pie. This may just be the real reason that people love chocolate.]

At the end of 1916, a group of aristocrats decided that Rasputin’s influence had grown too great and that he had to be killed in order to save Russia. They lured him to the palace of one of the princes; fed him poisoned cakes and wine, shot him and then threw himb into the frozen river.

Cemetery offers coffin with panic button

A cemetery in Santiago, Chile is offering its clients coffins with a sensor that detects any movement inside them after they have been buried.

According to the Camino a Canaan cemetery the sensor attached to the coffin is to avoid anyone being buried alive.

Spokesperson for the cemetery told La Cuarta: "We want to be pioneers and avoid catalepsy cases, in which a person gets completely paralysed for a few hours and ends up buried as if they were dead.

"We want families to rest assured that if a case like this ever happens their loved ones will be immediately rescued."

*Ananova

Battle Won (Hate Crime Legislation), War Wages On (Same-Sex Marriage)...

Bill C250, the Bill adding sexual orientation to the hate crimes section of the penal code, was passed by the Senate by a vote of 59-11 on April 28/04. The Bill has been given royal assent and is now law. Our thanks to all who wrote letters of support for this Bill last year.

Did you know that for many anti-gay organizations the federal election is already on? Never before has there been such a well funded attack on the fundamental rights of lesbians and gays. Last October, Parliament came dangerously close to taking away those rights by invoking the Notwithstanding Clause. The difference was only 5 votes.

An organization called Focus on the Family (Canada) is determined to defeat same-sex marriage legislation this time. They have a target of electing 42 new anti-gay MP's this election. They have launched a $1.5 million to elect more MP's like Tom Wappel, Dan McTeague, Stephen Harper, Dennis Mills, and Jason Kenney, people known to be vehemently opposed to same-sex marriage marriage. Their media campaign which has already begun will involve 40 full page (see Star Friday, May 7, Page A 11) and 70 half page ads in two national and 21 local dailies, plus 3600 radio spots on talk shows in Vancouver, Calgary, Edmonton, Toronto,London and Ottawa.

Focus on the Family is a coalition of churches and organizations that oppose gay rights, and in particular same-sex marriages. Their disclaimer that they do not endorse or oppose any particular candidate or party is less than truthful.

Canadians for Equal Marriage say that we are going to have to fight riding by riding to guarantee a Parliament that will pass same-sex marriage legislation, and stand up to anti-gay legislation. If you do not want Focus on the Family to speak for you, these are some things you might do;

- visit Canadians for Equal Marriage website at www.equal-marriage.ca to take an active role in the election yourself.
- encourage friends, workmates and family to visit the website.
- target anti-gay MPs by challenging their stand on same-sex marriage and/or homophobia in general.
- write, email, phone your MP letting him/her know your views
- write to the Prime Minister
- write, email, phone support to any and all MPs whom you know to be pro same-sex marriage.
- write letters to the editor (StarPhoenix, other publications)
- find out where your local radio and TV stations stand on the issue.
send donations to help combat this well funded attack, payable to: Canadians for Equal Marriage, 491 Church St., Toronto, ON.,

M4Y 2C2 or 205 - 176 Gloucester, Ottawa, ON., K2P 0A6 or online at: www.equal-marriage.ca/donate.php

Some of the arguments against same-sex being used by Focus on the Family Canada are:
- traditional marriage provides the healthiest environment for rearing children.
- the multi-generational family is the only reliable social safety net.
- the most dangerous place for a child is with one biological parent and one non-biological parent.
- same-sex marriage will destroy the fabric of society.
- same-sex marriage will not create a bond between generations so the transmission of life and of culture will be lost.
THESE MYTHS NEED TO BE REFUTED!!!

Saskatoon Candidates and where they stand on this issue:

Dennis Gruending - for
Carol Skelton - against
Myron Luczka - stand unknown
Don Kossick - for
Lynne Yelich - against
Tiffany Paulson - unknown
Pricilla Settee - for
Maurice Vellacott - against
Chris Axworthy - for
Nettie Wiebe - for
Brad Trost - not known
Patrick Wolfe - not known
Jim Pankiw - against

Now Ya Know.....

THE BRICK

A young and successful executive was traveling down a neighborhood street, going a bit too fast in his new Jaguar. He was watching for kids darting out from between parked cars and slowed down when he thought he saw something.
As his car passed, no children appeared. Instead, a brick smashed into the Jag's side door!

He slammed on the brakes and backed the Jag back to the spot where the brick had been thrown. The angry driver then jumped out of the car, grabbed the nearest kid and pushed him up against a parked car shouting,

"What was that all about and who are you? Just what the heck are you doing? That's a new car and that brick you threw is going to cost a lot of money. Why did you do it?" The young boy was apologetic. "Please, mister...please, I'm sorry but I didn't know what else to do," He pleaded. "I threw the brick because no one else would stop..." With tears dripping down his face and off his chin, the youth pointed to a spot just around a parked car.

"It's my brother," he said. "He rolled off the curb and fell out of his wheelchair and I can't lift him up." Now sobbing, the boy asked the stunned executive, "Would you please help me get him back into his wheelchair? He's hurt and he's too heavy for me."

Moved beyond words, the driver tried to swallow the rapidly swelling lump in his throat. He hurriedly lifted the handicapped boy back into the wheelchair, then took out a linen handkerchief and dabbed at the fresh scrapes and cuts. A quick look told him everything was going to be okay.. "Thank you and may God bless you," the grateful child told the stranger.

Too shook up for words, the man simply watched the boy push his wheelchair-bound brother down the sidewalk toward their home. It was a long, slow walk back to the Jaguar. The damage was very noticeable, but the driver never bothered to repair the dented side door. He kept the dent there to remind him of this message "Don't go through life so fast that someone has to throw a brick at you to get your attention!" God whispers in our souls and speaks to our hearts. Sometimes when we don't have time to listen, He has to throw a brick at us. It's our choice to listen or not.

Thought for the Day:

If God had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it.
If He had a wallet, your photo would be in it.
He sends you flowers every spring.
He sends you a sunrise every morning.
Face it, friend - He is crazy about you!
God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way...

*Thanks, Pammy =)

Cell Phone Ignites Gas Station Fire

NEW PALTZ, N.Y., May 14, 2004

Flames shot up around a 21-year-old college student whose cell phone rang while he was pumping gas.

Firefighters said Matthew Erhorn, a SUNY New Paltz student, received minor burns at a Mobil station near the New York State Thurway (Interstate 87) Thursday night.

"I'm very surprised," Erhorn said.

He shouldn't have been. There's a sign at the pumps at the New Paltz gas station warning that cell phones should be turned off for safety while pumping gas.

Firefighters believe the cell phone ignited vapors coming from the car's fuel tank as it was being filled.

It doesn't take much of a charge to ignite gasoline vapors, New Paltz fire chief Patrick Koch told WCBS-AM's Peter Haskell. "Anything, really. Women's nylon stockings when they get out of a vehicle, that can cause a spark, too."

That's why motorists are told "don't use their cell phones when they're pumping gas. Really, it's deadly," Koch said.

Good avenger, bad boyfriend?

Peter Parker: Good, butt-kicking defender of justice. But a bad boyfriend.

While the superheroes of olde seemed to enjoy leaping tall buildings, being beloved and looking hot in a skin-tight unitard, Spider-Man's alter-ego is a buff but unappealing mess of conflict, regret and self-inflicted emotional burden.

And who wants to date that?

I feel for his long-suffering sweetie, Mary "M.J." Jane.

M.J.: "Honey, I had the longest day at work! Let me tell you all about it."

Peter Parker: "You had a long day? I had to stop an insane industrialist from destroying the city and everyone I love, hide my secret identity from my best friend, who thinks I killed his father and wants me dead, and meet a newspaper deadline. I harbor such angst, such pain. A deep, angsty pain. (Pauses dramatically to stare into the horizon all serious-like). Leave me. I must go to a dark rooftop and brood about my joyless and exquisitely happy-free existence. And perhaps shed a silent tear.... Say, what's for dinner?"

Poor little M.J. She's been caught in the tractor beam of a new breed of summer movie hottie: the Broody Bruiser.

Spidey's not alone. There's Denzel Washington's boozy, Linda Ronstadt-listening former assassin in Man On Fire, Brad Pitt's stormy warrior dude in Troy, David Carradine's Zen sandwich-making master killer in Kill Bill Vol. 2, Hugh Jackman's moody monster hunter in Van Helsing and pretty much every character Tom Cruise has ever played.

They're all lethal weapons.

And they're all really bummed about it.

These guys are guided by two equally powerful forces: the need to kick butt, either for justice, vengeance or profit, and the need to reflect on it -- a lot. What gives? I mean, you want to give some consideration to their violent lot in life, but do they have to be so all-consumingly down about it?

Pimping ain't easy, the wise Big Daddy Kane once said, and neither is world-saving/assassinating. Wasn't that in the job description? Suck it up, junior.

Beneath the chiselly chests and sexy smiles, these guys are basically angsty rock stars with guns. And let's ask ourselves: Would you want Morrissey to have a gun?

With these guys, it's either "My eternal torment" or "My inability to not shoot people" or "My vigilante killing spree." Blah, blah, blah.

Ladies, you know what it's never about? You.

At the end, you're just something else to save (or in Kill Bill's case, not save) or another symbol of the life they could have if they weren't so all-importantly burdened and whatnot.

And as cute as Denzel or, say, Thomas Jane's haunted vigilante in The Punisher is, when are they gonna find time in their busy killing/moping schedule to take you out to dinner or something? I understand professional obligations, but can't it be about me just an eeensy bit?

There's only room for one self-obsessed person in a relationship, and I'm already occupying that deck chair.

I'm not saying sensitive guys are bad -- Mark Ruffalo's sweetly confused photographer in 13 Going On 30, the sort of chap who feels things deeply, was simply yummy. And there's alternately something magnetic about the combination of potential danger and devastating dimples that makes your James Bond/Indiana Jones types seem like tuxedoed or fedora-clad catnip.

But when infused into the same guy, the cry/kill reflexes make for one scary boyfriend. Bond and Indy had regrets, but at the end of the day, they scheduled their moping for their off hours, because if there are two things that don't mix, it's weeping and firepower.

Take Bill in Kill Bill, for instance. And take his pistol and his samurai sword while you're at it. This guy, who's gotten rich as a sort of assassin manager, is so sensitive and torn up about his girlfriend (Uma Thurman) leaving him to marry someone else that instead of writing a drippy poem about her, or perhaps drowning in a sea of Jack Daniels, he just has to execute her entire wedding party, leaving her alive but in a coma, with a bullet in her head and her presumed-dead baby taken from her.

And then there's Troy boy Achilles (Pitt), who, according to the movie, was indeed an ancient rock star -- all the girlies wanna love him, and all the boys wanna either be him or kill him. He's like Grecian Steven Seagal -- hard to kill, save for a wee patch of skin below his ankle.

But you think Achilles is happy? Noooo. He sulks around, butt naked, sullen and bitter that while the Spartans want him to fight, do they really understand him? Do they honestly appreciate the sacrifices he makes for them? Why don't they love him?

Even though he knows it's prophesied that it's gonna kill him, Achilles signs up for the Trojan War, because he likes being adored and famous, and probably because he needs something really good to whine about.

And don't get me started on Van Helsing (Jackman), who skulks around Europe on a holy quest to rid the world of evil creatures, never cracking a smile (and he's so pretty when he smiles). Serious work, that evil creature-ridding. But do you think he takes a break to see a show or something?

On the other hand, Dracula (Richard Roxburgh) seems to be having the time of his life and doesn't seem a bit conflicted about being evil. Maybe Van Helsing should take some notes.

I think the proliferation of this muscular moodiness is a reaction to our society's obsession with both feeling our pain and causing other people pain. You know how people like Dr. Phil because he's touchy-feely, but only to the point where you cheese him off? Make him mad, and he'll threaten to hogtie or bushwhack you or whatever they do in Texas.

In the 1950s, John Wayne played cowboys who were the height of manly manness. Their jobs -- to round up bad guys, save the stagecoach and girl, and then ride off into the sunset, leaving said girl weeping in her Mama's hankie. That was the game, people. They weren't all that conflicted, because the code was simple. Kill bad guy. Save day. Be strong, silent, and keep your emotional turmoil between you and the coyotes.

Even with the sensitive guys of the day, you knew where your butt-kicking bread was buttered. Take two of my favorite characters, drunk, bitter ranch-hand-turned-millionaire Jet Rink (James Dean) in Giant and lumbering, simmering brute Stanley Kowalski (Marlon Brando) in A Streetcar Named Desire. These were astonishingly hunky dudes who wore their well-practiced angst on their rolled-up sleeves. Even if they seemed initially datable, you went away understanding that they were poisonous messes.

Not anymore. All the time I was watching Man On Fire, or Troy, or Van Helsing, I got the feeling that we're supposed to want these guys, in all their sad-eyed, angsty glory. And I couldn't help thinking that while being with one of these guys might be initially exciting, at the end it's all brooding and blood.

Ultimately, how much fun is that?