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Friday, December 31, 2004

The Black Cat Maukie

If you tease her with the mouse pointer on her chest or stomach she will purr, and to get her to meeow, rub her forehead with the pointer.

If you make a slow circle around her body, (counterclockwise) not only will her head/eyes follow your pointer, but toward the top, her paw will go up, and when in front of her paws at the bottom, her foot comes out like she wants to play with your mouse pointer.

(Don't hold the mouse down, just move it)

Click here.

Did Elton & David Say 'I Do'?

Sir Elton John and David Furnish (London) British tabloids report that Elton John has formally exchanged vows with long-time partner David Furnish.

The singer's spokesperson has not commented on the reports that appeared in several papers.

The reports say that the couple had a commitment ceremony at the home of David and Victoria Beckham on December 23.

John and Furnish were at the home of the famed soccer star and the former Spice Girl for the christening of their two sons, Brooklyn, five, and Romeo.

Preceding the event the papers speculated that John and Furnish would also exchange vows, but those reports were denied by John's spokesperson.

Thursday, however, British gossip columnists said the denial was a smokescreen to keep the media away.

Reportedly John and Furnish left the function with a "just married" sign in the back of their car.

One paper quoting an unnamed source said, "They think it is funny to stir things up. They won't confirm or deny anything. They want to keep people guessing."

John and Furnish have lived together for 11 years.

The Sun quotes the singer as saying the civil ceremony will be a simple affair. "We don't want to turn it into a circus," he told the Sun.

"We just feel that any relationship that has lasted for as long as ours deserves recognition, protection and respect."

Last month, shortly after the British government passed legislation to create a domestic partner registry, giving same-sex couples many of the rights enjoyed by married couples John announced that he and Furnish would officially become domestic partners under the law sometime in 2005.

At the time the Sun quoted the singer as saying the civil ceremony would be a simple affair. "We don't want to turn it into a circus," he told the Sun.

"We just feel that any relationship that has lasted for as long as ours deserves recognition, protection and respect."


Our Troops in Iraq

These are pictures about the troops in Iraq. Vivid pictures we do not see on tv.

No matter how you feel about being in Iraq it is important for you to pray for those who are there and the families at home.
Soldiers in IRAQ

Soldiers in IRAQ

Soldiers in IRAQ

the next time when...

the other car cuts you off and you must hit the brakes,
or you have to park a little further from Walmart than you want to be,
or you're served slightly warm food at the restaurant,
or you're sitting and cursing the traffic in front of you,
or the shower runs out of hot water,
Think of them...
Soldiers in IRAQ

Soldiers in IRAQ

The proud warriors of Baker Company wanted to do something to pay tribute to our fallen comrades. So since we are part of the only Marine Infantry Battalion left in Iraq the one way that we could think of doing that is By taking a picture of Baker Company saying the way we feel. It would be awesome if you could find a way to share this with our fellow countrymen. I was wondering if there was any way to get this into your papers to let the world know that "WE HAVE NOT FORGOTTEN" and are proud to serve our country."
--Semper Fi 1stSgt Dave Jobe

The last photo was forwarded from one of the last U.S. Marine companies in Iraq. They would like to have it passed to as many people as possible, to let the folks back home know that they remember why they're there and that they remember those who've been lost.

GOD and Mr. Davidson:

The inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle, Arthur Davidson, died and went to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur, "Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want in Heaven.

"Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, "I want to hang out with God."

St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room and introduced him to God. God recognized Arthur and commented, "Okay, so you were the one who invented the Harley Davidson motorcycle?" Arthur said, "Yep, that's me." God said, "Well, what's the big deal in inventing something that's pretty unstable, makes noise and pollution and can't run without a road?"

Arthur was apparently embarrassed, but finally he said, "Excuse me, but aren't You the inventor of woman?"

God said, "Yes."

"Well," said Arthur, "professional to professional, you have some major design flaws in your invention:

1. There's too much inconsistency in the front-end protrusions;

2. It chatters constantly at high speeds;

3. Most of the rear ends are too soft and wobble too much;

4. The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust;

5. And the maintenance costs are enormous!"

"Hmmmmm, you may have some good points there," replied God, "Hold on.

"God went to His Celestial super computer, typed in a few words and waited for the results.

The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it "Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed," God said to Arthur, "but according to these numbers, more men are riding my invention than yours."

*Auntie 'M'

ELF Snowball Fight

Click here to play

Click above to play

Thursday, December 30, 2004

Are you feeling smart today - A Riddle

Eighty percent of Kindergartners solved this riddle, but only 5% of Stanford graduates figured it out!

Can you answer the following questions?

1. The word has seven letters...
2. Preceded God...
3. Greater than God...
4. More Evil than the devil...
5. All poor people have it...
6. Wealthy people need it...
7. If you eat it, you will die.

Did you figure it out?

Try hard before looking at the answers

Did you get it yet?

Give up?

Brace yourself for the answer....

The Answer is:

NOTHING! NOTHING has 7 letters.
NOTHING preceded God.
NOTHING is greater than God.
NOTHING is more Evil than the devil.
All poor people have NOTHING.
Wealthy people need NOTHING.
If you eat NOTHING, you will die.

Don't feel bad - I have to admit that I couldn't solve it either and had to look at the answer.

Send this Brain Teaser to your Smart friends and see if they can.

*Auntie 'M'

The Painter

The Painter Doug, the blonde, was getting pretty desperate for money. He decided to go to the nicer, richer neighborhoods around town and look for odd jobs as a handyman.

The first house she came to, a man answered the door and told Doug,"Yeah, I have a job for you. "How would you like to paint the porch?"

"Sure that sounds great!" said Doug.

"Well, how much do you want me to pay you?" asked the man.

"Is fifty bucks all right?" Doug asked.

"Yeah, great. "You'll find the paint and ladders you'll need in the garage."

The man went back into his house to his partner who had been listening. "Fifty bucks! Does he know the porch goes all the way around the house?" asked the partner.

"Well, he must, he was standing right on it!" the man replied.

About 45 minutes later, Doug knocked on the door. "I'm all finished," he told the surprised homeowner.

The man was amazed. "You painted the whole porch?"

"Yeah," Doug replied, "I even had some paint left, so I put on two coats!"

The man reached into his wallet to pay Doug. "Oh, and by the way," said Doug, "That's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

Forty and Fab! - Mary Poppins Celebrates a Milestone!

It is a jolly holiday with Mary and Bert (Disney Insider) Moviegoers at the 1964 premiere of "Mary Poppins" were surprised to see the role of stooped old banker Mr. Dawes, Sr. credited to none other than Dick Van Dyke. But nobody was more surprised than Van Dyke's eight-year-old costar, Karen Dotrice. "I had no idea that was Dick Van Dyke until I saw the credits at the royal premiere in London," says Dotrice. Playing young Jane Banks in the film, Dotrice, despite sharing a scene with the antiquated fellow, was completely taken in. "Dick kept totally in character. That's why Matthew [Garber, Dotrice's on-screen younger brother Michael] and I looked so terrified in the scene -- all those freaky old codgers. We were really scared of them!" Van Dyke was already cast as congenial chimney sweep Bert, but says he begged Walt Disney to let him dress up and play Dawes. "I thought it was a very funny character, and I told Walt if he let me play him, I wouldn't charge him a nickel."

Dotrice, Van Dyke, Julie Andrews, and songwriter Richard Sherman recently reunited to film extras for the December 14 release of the fortieth-anniversary edition DVD, which includes interviews, a previously unreleased song, and plenty of behind-the-scenes scoop.

Jane Darwell had a long, distinguished film career. What was special about her "Mary Poppins" role as the Bird Woman?

"Mary Poppins" was Darwell's last film appearance.

Freaky old codgers aside, each says the four-month "Poppins" shoot was a once-in-a-lifetime ball. "Julie Andrews was so much fun, and Dick was a big kid. He used to have us laughing until our makeup ran," recalls Dotrice. Even better, all the actors enjoyed the perks of a big-budget film set, like tea parties on the ceiling and floating carousel ponies. "There we were way up high in the air riding horses. It was so bloody cool!" says Dotrice.

For his part, Van Dyke thoroughly enjoyed the animated scenes, particularly the memorable pas de deux with the penguin. "For me," notes the actor, who says his experience as a mime helped him interact with invisible characters, "it was just duck soup." The fully realized flick astonished even the actors, who filmed all of their scenes on Burbank stages, some empty but for a blue screen.

Dotrice even marveled at seeing herself on screen with a mouth full of teeth. She and Garber each lost several baby choppers, most of them casualties of the "Supercalifragilistic" scene that required eating candy apples for days. "They had to keep making us these 'Chiclet' teeth," she recalls with a hearty laugh.

Post-"Poppins," Van Dyke and Andrews famously continued their entertainment careers while Dotrice opted for a quieter life as mom to three and occasional television creative consultant. (Garber died in 1977, just after his twenty-first birthday.) But despite the passage of 40 years, Van Dyke says the memories, as well as the film, have held up. “‘Mary Poppins’ is one of the few projects that I knew from the beginning was going to be huge," he says. "That movie is going to live forever."

2004 Top 10: The big stories

Wayne and Garth's Top Ten
No... Sorry, Not these ones!

(IDG News Service) If there were any lingering doubts that we are in the post-PC era, several big stories this year should have cleared them up. The sale of IBM Corp.'s PC business to China's Lenovo Group Ltd., and the death of Comdex, were powerful reminders that IT is in a transitional stage.

This transitional era involves not only shifts in computing technology per se, but issues related to law and technology strategy. Would technology advance more rapidly if patents were disallowed? Can users deploy mission-critical, open-source systems secure in the knowledge that the legal underpinnings of the code are sound? There are no easy answers, as the biggest stories of the year reveal.

Here are the top 10 IT stories of the year, not necessarily in order of importance:

--IBM bows to reality, sells PC unit to Lenovo If there ever was a sign of the times, it was IBM's sale of its PC unit to China's Lenovo Group just a few weeks before the year ended. The deal, which will give IBM more than a billion U.S. dollars in cash and equity, calls for IBM to keep its foot in the PC arena in order to continue offering a full range of services and products. IBM will own 18 per cent of Lenovo, which will be headed by a current IBM executive and headquartered in New York. Still, there is no doubt that the company that gave legitimacy to the PC revolution of the 1980s essentially is exiting the PC business because margins are too thin and the competition is more fierce than ever. Analysts expect more vendor consolidation over the next few years. The Lenovo deal also pointed to ....

--China: The next India, or the next .... U.S.? While Western vendors have for years been beating down the door to get into China, this year the country began to emerge as a player in its own right. Speaking in Beijing in September, Cisco Systems Inc. president and chief executive officer John Chambers said China "will become the IT centre of the world." He was speaking in terms of decades, but nevertheless the year has seen major companies such as Accenture Ltd. and IBM, as well as Indian services providers such as Wipro Ltd., establish or expand outsourcing facilities in the country. The facilities still cater mainly to the local markets, but China's IT and facilities infrastructure is stronger than India's. As China fortifies its foreign language skills and piracy laws, look for its increasing presence in the service sector. Meanwhile, hardware and networking companies such as Lenovo and Huawei Technologies Co. Ltd. are reporting rapid international growth, while software companies such as Red Flag Software Co. Ltd. are starting to take more of a leadership role in international software trends.

--Oracle v. PeopleSoft part II: Larry wins it. So Larry Ellison meant it, after all! Many industry insiders thought the incendiary Oracle Corp. co-founder and CEO made a hostile bid for ERP (enterprise resource planning) rival PeopleSoft Inc. last year mainly to take advantage of the FUD (fear, uncertainty and doubt) that such a move was sure to cause. But on Dec. 13, Oracle closed the deal to buy PeopleSoft for approximately US$10.3 billion, ending an acrimonious takeover battle. Despite the many obstacles PeopleSoft put up, Oracle persisted and in September it got the regulatory green light to continue its pursuit when a federal judge rejected the U.S. Department of Justice's effort to block the offer on antitrust grounds. Finally, two years after Oracle's initial bid, the story ends as another case of industry consolidation.

--Sun and Microsoft, friends after all One of the shocks of the year was to see Sun co-founder and CEO Scott McNealy sitting side-by-side with Microsoft Corp. chief executive Steve Ballmer, laughing and joking about their surprise "broad cooperation agreement." The April deal settles all outstanding litigation between the formerly bitter industry enemies and calls for Microsoft to pay Sun US$1.6 billion to resolve antitrust and patent issues. The agreement appeared to be a winner for all sides: Sun gets cash to help its corporate makeover, which has entailed a souped-up Solaris and a new round of products for its core financial industry users; Microsoft placated a fierce rival and laid to rest some legal problems; and users, in theory, will get products that work better together.

--E.U. slaps Microsoft with antitrust ruling It took the European Union's antitrust ruling against Microsoft to show that the software giant could not completely buy its way out of legal trouble. Though Microsoft settled various antitrust cases and complaints with payoffs to several states, companies and organizations, the E.U. in March hit Microsoft with a €497.2 million (US$613 million) fine and required the company to offer a version of its Windows operating system without the Windows Media Player software. The ruling goes beyond the settlement in the U.S. antitrust case, and Microsoft appealed. The case will drag on for years, but if Microsoft is forced to permanently offer Media Player as a separate product, it could force a change in its business model.

--Intel's annus horribilis Intel Corp., a company that once prided itself on smart business strategy execution and industry-leading innovation, exits 2004 with a completely overhauled desktop and server roadmap, scaled-down expectations for consumer electronics and communications products, several embarrassing manufacturing gaffes, diminished respect, and a drop in its stock price. The flip side of the story is that Advanced Micro Devices Inc. seems to be encroaching on the mighty Intel's market dominance. In February, despite earlier statements to the contrary, Intel was forced to unveil a 64-bit processor for low-end servers in response to rival AMD's early success in generating demand for a similar product. If anything, this might prove that competition does indeed spawn technology advances.

--Gaga over Google Google Google Inc.'s initial public offering in August, one of the most talked-about business stories of the year, brought up bittersweet memories of the dot-com era and some cautious optimism for the economy. Would all the interest in the Internet search engine company mean that investors would start pumping money into the market? That question has not been answered yet, but the stock opened strongly, the company has shown some good financials, and its Gmail 1G-byte e-mail service has spawned copycat offerings. There were some embarrassing gaffes, for example when its confusing October financial report had analysts wondering whether it had missed or exceeded financial expectations (it in fact exceeded them). Though it may not herald another dot-com boom, the IPO showed that with the right technology and market position, a company can still attract an investing public.

--Peeved about patents The turmoil over ratifying the European Union's patent directive has exposed the fear and confusion surrounding the concept of ownership of intellectual property (IP). As originally proposed by the European Commission, the directive would allow software patents. But subsequent versions by the European Parliament were changed to disallow software patents, and just before the end of the year it became apparent that a vote in another legislative body, the Council of Ministers, would be postponed, apparently because political pressure had smashed a consensus about which version to ratify. For the most part, large corporations are for patents and open source advocates and smaller companies, which have fewer resources to deal with patent issues, are against them. The issue, however, has even large American companies concerned. A loose consortium of large U.S. companies was reported to be seriously considering buying Web services patents auctioned off by bankrupt software company Commerce One Inc., for example, in order to ward off potential legal problems.

--SCO case imploding, Linux growth exploding The SCO Group Inc.'s lawsuit against IBM Corp. last year worried many users, who feared that SCO's IP claims could restrict the growth of Linux. SCO alleges that IBM illegally contributed source code to Linux. This year SCO broadened the case, filing lawsuits against Novell Inc. and users Autozone Inc. and DaimlerChrysler AG. Now, while SCO may still prevail against IBM, prospects for its success appear to have dimmed: A judge threw out a large component of the case against DaimlerChrysler, and in a late-in-the-game move, SCO changed its claim against IBM to copyright infringement. SCO also has failed to sign up many customers for its Intellectual Property License for Linux. Although the IBM suit may not go to trial until late 2005, it does not appear to have dampened Linux's prospects. IDC expects Linux to make up 25.7 per cent of worldwide server shipments in 2008, up from 15.6 per cent of worldwide server shipments in 2003.

--Comdex: The party's over The long lines for buses, the chatty cabbies, the monstrous exhibit halls, the parties imbued with rock-star glow by young billionaires: All this may continue to happen at trade shows, but not at Comdex, which was cancelled this year. After losing 40 per cent of its attendance in 2001 in the wake of the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks and the dot-com bust, it never recovered. The show, which came of age in the 1980s as the Computer Dealers Exposition, probably hit its peak in the mid-to-late 90s but was carried along by an exuberant industry buoyed by dot-com era dollars. As much as anything else, the demise of Comdex signals the end of an era, which began with the PC revolution and hit its zenith with the explosive growth of the Internet. Perhaps the way is clearing up for a rational rebirth.

Jerry Orbach dead at 69 - Actor best known for 'Law & Order'

Jerry Orbach died Tuesday of prostate cancer.
Jerry Orbach died Tuesday of prostate cancer.

(CNN) -- Actor Jerry Orbach, best known for his long-running role as New York police detective Lennie Briscoe on "Law & Order," has died. He was 69.

Orbach died of prostate cancer Tuesday night, a spokesman for the program confirmed Wednesday.

The actor had been undergoing treatment for his illness for several weeks, Audrey Davis of the public relations agency Lippin Group told The Associated Press.

He had recently been in production for a "Law & Order" spinoff featuring Briscoe, "Law & Order: Trial by Jury," scheduled to premiere in early 2005.

"I'm immensely saddened by the passing of not only a friend and colleague, but a legendary figure of 20th-century show business," said Dick Wolf, creator and executive producer of the "Law & Order" series, in a statement. "He was one of the most honored performers of his generation. His loss is irreplaceable."

Orbach joined "Law & Order" in the show's third season and quickly made Briscoe a popular character, known for his deadpan wisecracks and rough vulnerability.

Audiences also learned of the character's divorces, his difficult relationship with his daughters (one was later killed for testifying against a drug-dealing boyfriend) and his battle with alcoholism -- though, in true "Law & Order" fashion, these tidbits were revealed casually over the course of many years.

Orbach was also one of many "L&O" actors who had appeared as a different character at another time in the show's run -- in Orbach's case, as a defense attorney during the show's second season.

"Law & Order" and its spinoffs are all filmed in New York, and Orbach was so identified with the city that he was declared a "living landmark" by the New York Landmark Conservancy in 2002.

Orbach had been a notable New York actor for more than three decades when he joined "Law & Order." He was a star of the city's theatrical world, having originated the roles of El Gallo in the off-Broadway "Fantasticks," Billy Flynn in the original mid-'70s Broadway run of "Chicago" and Julian Marsh in the revival of "42nd Street."

He won a Tony for his performance in 1968's "Promises, Promises," a Neil Simon/Burt Bacharach/Hal David musical version of the 1960 movie "The Apartment."

As a movie actor, Orbach shined in supporting roles, including performances in 1981's "Prince of the City," 1986's "F/X," Woody Allen's 1989 film "Crimes and Misdemeanors" and 1992's "Mr. Saturday Night." He was the voice of Lumiere in "Beauty and the Beast" (1991) and the father of Jennifer Grey's character Baby in "Dirty Dancing" (1987).

Orbach with the
Orbach with the "Law & Order" cast. From left,
Fred Thompson, Orbach, Sam Waterston,
S. Epatha Merkerson and Jesse L. Martin.

Jerome Bernard Orbach was born in Bronx, New York, on October 20, 1935, the son of a vaudeville actor and a radio singer. The family moved around during his childhood, finally settling near Chicago.

He attended the University of Illinois and Northwestern University and then returned to New York to begin his acting career.

He earned his broadest fame relatively late in life, but couldn't have asked for more, he said.

"I used to say when I was working in the theater that if I ever had five seasons of a hit TV show I'd never have to worry about money and wouldn't have to do anything I didn't want to do," he once said, according to the Internet Movie Database. "The 12 seasons of 'Law & Order' really made that possible."

New Yorkers, particularly cops, loved him.

"The police? Oh, my God. It's a straight-up love affair with the man," co-star Jesse L. Martin told the Philadelphia Inquirer.

Orbach told the AP he didn't know "where I stop and Lennie starts, really. ... I know he's tougher than me and he carries a gun. And I'm not an alcoholic."

"I know I wouldn't want to be him," Orbach summed up. "I guess that's where I stop and he starts."

Orbach was married twice. He is survived by his wife, Elaine, and his children, Tony and Chris.

Saturday, December 25, 2004

Merry Christmas

from The Wizard of 'OZ'

O Christmas Tree

Santa Claus

Merry Christmas

(posted early as I will be away for a while. Hope you all have a great Christmas, and I will see you back in a week or so...)

Friday, December 24, 2004

Phantom Of The Opera

Gerard Butler as The Phantom of the Opera Starring: Gerard Butler, Emmy Rossum

Andrew Lloyd Webber’s The Phantom of the Opera tells the story of a disfigured musical genius (Gerard Butler) who haunts the catacombs beneath the Paris Opera, waging a reign of terror over its occupants. When he falls fatally in love with the lovely Christine (Emmy Rossum), the Phantom devotes himself to creating a new star for the Opera, exerting a strange sense of control over the young soprano as he nurtures her extraordinary talents.

His chance comes when temperamental diva La Carlotta (Minnie Driver) walks out in the middle of a dress rehearsal for the company's latest production. The theatre's eager new managers have no choice but to thrust Christine into the spotlight.


Her mesmerizing opening night performance captivates both the audience and the Phantom devotes himself to his protégé. But he is not the only powerful man to be awed by the young soprano, as Christine soon finds herself courted by the theatre's wealthy patron, the Vicompte Raoul de Chagny.

Though she is enthralled by her charismatic mentor, Christine is undeniably drawn to the dashing Raoul, enraging the Phantom and setting the stage for a dramatic crescendo in which soaring passions, fierce jealousies and obsessive love threaten to drive the fated lovers past the point of no return.

On the state Phantom was brilliant. On the screen it fails miserably because it never really leaves the stage. It is stiff and fails to flow.

Even during the musical numbers the camera barely moves.

The one truly cinematic effect is the opening. Like the Wizard of Oz, it begins in black and white and then bursts into color.
Emmy Rossum is excellent as the ingénue but Gerard Butler just doesn't cut it. He is neither scary nor sympathetic - the two ingredients necessary to the role.

The remainder of the cast is quite forgettable.

Still, this is the first big musical in many a year, and picked up three Golden Globe nominations. The only one deserved went to Rossum for Best Actress - Musical. There others were Best Picture - Musical (what were they thinking) and Best Original Song.

If you loved the stage version you are bound to love the movie. But, if you missed it on stage, you'll be disappointed.

*Review by Brent Ko, 365gay.com Entertainment

Alberta Told To Stop 'Gay Bashing'

K-K-Klein (Edmonton, Alberta) Alberta's staunch opposition to same-sex marriage is no different than discriminatory laws once faced by Jews and non-whites around the world, gay and lesbian leaders say.

Premier Ralph K-K-Klein (OOPS! Sorry about the stutter!) said earlier this month that same-sex marriages are morally wrong and his government will not allow them despite a Supreme Court ruling on the issue.

Gay and lesbian civil rights activists say they have sent a letter demanding a meeting with Klein in hopes of changing his mind. If not, they promise to challenge Alberta's position in court.

"I have heard the premier of Alberta describe the issue as a moral issue, and I agree," said Julie Lloyd, a lawyer who has been a driving force behind human rights cases in Alberta.

"However, the moral issue is not and cannot be homosexuality. The moral issue is discrimination."

On Tuesday, Newfoundland became the eighth jurisdiction in Canada to sanction same-sex marriages.

Same-sex couples may also legally marry in British Columbia, Ontario, Quebec, Manitoba, Saskatchewan, Nova Scotia and the Yukon.

Under Alberta law, marriage is defined as a union between a man and a woman.

Murray Billet, of the group Canadians for Equal Marriage, said gays and lesbians in Alberta shouldn't have to fight in court for their rights.

"We not only expect equality, but we will go after equality and do whatever it is going to take," he said. "We will take them to court. The writing is on the wall. Get over it."

Canadians need to know that some Albertans, especially in Edmonton and Calgary, support same-sex marriage, said Michael Phair, an Edmonton city councilor who is gay.

"We are tired of being bullied," Phair said at a news conference.

"It is an outrage, and it is nothing but bias and revenge to force us to go to the courts to get what everyone else has in this country."

The federal Liberals are expected to introduce legislation in January to allow same-sex marriage.

Kris Wells, an educator, warned that Klein's position will resonate in Alberta schools and could hurt lesbian and gay students.

"Mr. Klein's rhetoric gives people the tacit permission that it is OK to discriminate," Wells said.

"When these kinds of negative comments are profiled in the media, we know that the rate of victimization against lesbian and gay persons increases."

Klein could not be reached for comment.

Marisa Etmanksi, his spokeswoman, said the premier will meet with a representative of the gay and lesbian community next month.

"Premier Klein has agreed to meet with a member of that group. They can get together and discuss issues that are important to both groups."

Etmanksi said while the premier's office has received letters, phone calls and e-mails from people on both sides of the issue, the vast majority side with Klein.

"The overwhelming response has come from people supporting the premier and the government on his stand."

While Klein has pledged to defend Alberta's Marriage Act, he has conceded the law is open to challenge.

Activist Elizabeth Massiah said gays and lesbians in Alberta won't accept anything less than full equality.

"What Ralph is proposing is a version of apartheid," she said. "I don't want to live in a province where there is an apartheid or caste-like system of equality."

Christmas With Louise

As a joke, my brother used to hang a pair of panty hose over his fireplace before Christmas. He said all he wanted was for Santa to fill them. What they say about Santa checking the list twice must be true because every Christmas morning, although Jay's kids' stockings were overflowed, his poor pantyhose hung sadly empty.

One year I decided to make his dream come true. I put on sunglasses and went in search of an inflatable love doll. They don't sell those things at Walmart. I had to go to an adult bookstore downtown.

If you've never been in an X-rated store, don't go. You'll only confuse yourself. I was there an hour saying things like, "What does this do? You're kidding me! Who would buy that?" Finally, I made it to the inflatable doll section.

I wanted to buy a standard, uncomplicated doll that could also substitute as a passenger in my truck so I could use the car pool lane during rush hour.

Finding what I wanted was difficult. Love Dolls come in many different models. The top of the line, according to the side of the box, could do things I'd only seen in a book on animal husbandry. I settled for Lovable Louise. She was at the bottom of the price scale. To call Louise a doll took a huge leap of imagination.

On Christmas Eve and with the help of an old bicycle pump, Louise came to life.

My sister-in-law was in on the plan and let me in during the wee morning hours. Long after Santa had come and gone, I filled the dangling pantyhose with Louise's pliant legs and bottom. I also ate some cookies and drank what remained of a glass of milk on a nearby tray. I went home, and giggled for a couple of hours.

The next morning my brother called to say that Santa had been to his house and left a present that had made him VERY happy but had left the dog confused. She would bark, start to walk away, then come back and bark some more.

We all agreed that Louise should remain in her panty hose so the rest of the family could admire her when they came over for the traditional Christmas dinner.

My grandmother noticed Louise the moment she walked in the door. "What the hell is that?" she asked.

My brother quickly explained, "It's a doll."

"Who would play with something like that?" Granny snapped.

I had several candidates in mind, but kept my mouth shut.

"Where are her clothes?" Granny continued.

"Boy, that turkey sure smells nice Gran" Jay said, to steer her into the dining room.

But Granny was relentless. "Why doesn't she have any teeth?"

Again, I could have answered, but why would I? It was Christmas and no one wanted to ride in the back of the ambulance saying, "Hang on Granny, hang on!"

My grandfather, a delightful old man with poor eyesight, sidled up to me and said, "Hey, who's the naked gal by the fireplace?"

I told him she was Jay's friend.

A few minutes later I noticed Grandpa by the mantel, talking to Louise. Not just talking, but actually flirting. It was then that we realized this might be Grandpa's last Christmas at home.

The dinner went well. We made the usual small talk about who had died, who was dying, and who should be killed, when suddenly Louise made a noise like my father in the bathroom in the morning. Then she lurched from the panty hose, flew around the room twice, and fell in a heap in front of the sofa.

The cat screamed. I passed cranberry sauce through my nose, and Grandpa ran across the room, fell to his knees, and began administering mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. My brother fell back over his chair and wet his pants.

Granny threw down her napkin, stomped out of the room, and sat in the car.

It was indeed a Christmas to treasure and remember.

Later in my brother's garage, we conducted a thorough examination to decide the cause of Louise's collapse. We discovered that Louise had suffered from a hot ember to the back of her right thigh.

Fortunately, thanks to a wonder drug called duct tape, we restored her to perfect health!

'Auntie 'M'

The Farting Santas

Thursday, December 23, 2004

New Face On Mars Sighted!!!!

This is the one discovered just a few short months ago:

The First Face Discovered

Click on the picture above to see the latest sighting.

Good Question

A visiting minister waxed eloquently during the offertory prayer.

"Dear Lord," he began with arms extended and a rapturous look on his upturned face, "without you we are but dust..."

He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient daughter,(who was listening carefully for a change!), leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little girl voice,

"Mom, what is butt dust?"

*Thanks, Auntie 'M'!

Use Your Imagination!

In a train compartment a young couple and an elderly, somewhat ragged man were sitting. The girl looks like she's having some discomfort so her boyfriend asks her, "What's wrong honey?"

She replies. "My head hurts."
Her boyfriend kisses her forehead, and asks her, "Is it better now?"
"Yes," she says.

Then he asks, "Does it hurt somewhere else?"
"Here," she replies, pointing to her lips. So the boyfriend kisses her lips.
"Is it better now?"
"Much better."

"Anywhere else?"
She replies by pointing to her neck. So the boyfriend kisses her neck.

Annoyed at the pitiful public display, the elderly man asks the young man, "Excuse me pal, do you do hemorrhoids?"

*Thanks, Auntie 'M'

In Canada, The Law is The Law (A Satire)

Canada I hope this makes its way around CANADA several times over!!!!!

So if the CANADIAN government determines that it is against the law for the words "under God" to be on our money, then, so be it.

And if that same government decides that the "Ten Commandments" are not to be used in or on a government installation, then, so be it.

And since they already have prohibited any prayer in the schools, on which they deem their authority, then so be it.

I say, "so be it," because I would like to be a law abiding CANADIAN citizen.

I say, "so be it," because I would like to think that smarter people than I are in positions to make good decisions.

I would like to think that those people have the Canadian Publics' best interests at heart.


Since we can't pray to God, can't Trust in God and cannot Post His Commandments in Government buildings,

I don't believe the Government and it's employees should participate in the Easter and Christmas celebrations which honour the God that our government is eliminating from many facets of Canadian life.

I'd like my mail delivered on Christmas, Good Friday, Thanksgiving &Easter. After all, it's just another day.

I'd like our Government to be in session on Christmas, Good Friday, Thanksgiving &Easter as well as Sundays. After all, it's just another day.

I'd like ALL Representatives to not have to worry about getting home for the "Christmas Break." After all ~ it's just another day.

I'm thinking that a lot of my taxpayer dollars could be saved, if all government offices &services would work on Christmas, Good Friday &Easter.

It shouldn't cost any overtime since those would be just like any other day of the week to a government that is trying to be "politically correct".

In fact....

I think that our government should work on Sundays (initially set aside for worshipping God...) because, after all, our government says that it should be just another day....

What do you all think????

If this idea gets to enough people, maybe our elected officials will stop giving in to the minority opinions and begin, once again, to represent the "majority" of ALL of the people.

SO BE IT...........

*Thanks, Donna!

Rusty Is A Homosexual

Click here
Click above.

*Thanks, Daryn!

Wednesday, December 22, 2004

Weird News of 2004

Weird News 2004

ZHENGZHOU, China: A Chinese couple raised their only child for 13 years in the belief it was a girl, until a visit to the local hospital alerted them to the fact that he was really a boy with underdeveloped sexual organs. They did not realize anything was wrong until they were baffled by a "reaction in the lower half of his body" whenever he watched pretty women on TV. Doctors concluded he was suffering from a rare disease causing sexual organs to be somewhat hidden from view and performed a successful three-hour operation to correct the problem.

Weird News 2004

RATCHABURI, Thailand: A group of Thai Buddhist monks were arrested and defrocked after holding a spate of rowdy drug and alcohol parties. Villagers complained about their wild behaviour and drug-taking at the local temple. Five of the saffron-robed monks tested positive for amphetamine pills and a sixth was blind drunk.

Weird News 2004

COSENZA, Italy: A driverless railway engine thundered nearly 200 kilometres (120 miles) through southern Italy at 80 kilometres (50 miles) an hour before staff managed to derail it. The driver had set the locomotive in motion, leaned out to see if the line ahead was clear, then slipped and fell from his cabin. Another railway worker tried to jump aboard and stop it but failed and the train gathered speed until it was finally switched to a track with a long incline and it smashed through buffers at a disused station before finally coming to a halt.

Weird News 2004

ZAGREB, South Africa: A South African who fell in love with a Croatian beauty he has never even spoken to, travelled halfway round the world in search of the woman of his dreams. Keith van der Spuy saw the woman only twice, on a boat and in a nightclub, while on holiday in the former Yugoslav republic but could not get her out of his head and returned to Croatia weeks later, with two diamonds in his pocket, to track down the haunting blonde -- but, sadly, to no avail.

Weird News 2004

JERUSALEM, Israel: Israeli authorities seized a consignment of 80,000 cans of dog food disguised as gourmet goose liver pate. The Bulgarian product was originally marked as "Chicken for dogs" but was relabelled "Domestic birds' liver pate" and "Pate de foie gras". The importer had also forged a kosher certificate to fulfill the requirements of Jewish dietary law.

Weird News 2004

LONDON, England: An aide to Britain's royal family lost his job after attempting to sell one of Queen Elizabeth's traditional Christmas puddings on Internet auction site eBay. Ben Church, a 25-year-old office administrator, was sacked and marched out of Buckingham Palace after he tried to sell the pudding for 20 pounds (39 dollars, 29 euros). An unnamed colleague told the Daily Mirror: "It's really mean and petty to sack him so close to Christmas, all for the sake of a pudding."

Weird News 2004

SEOUL, Korea: Three South Korean dogmeat lovers face a 70,000-dollar lawsuit after cooking and eating their employer's pedigree dog. The men, employees at a car-hire firm, killed and served up the expensve Jindo dog in the traditional Korean soup dish, Boshintang, while their boss was away.

Weird News 2004

CLUJ, Romania: A dog owner was forced to leave his apartment after a court ordered his mastiff to be removed from the building because its snoring kept the neighbours awake. Whenever Attila Varga's Neapolitan mastiff Sumo snored, the walls of the neighbouring flats shook and burglar alarms went off. A disappointed Varga said: "We share the same bed and I've got so used to it that I don't even hear it any more."

Weird News 2004

ALDERSHOT, England: A drunken soldier sparked a major security alert after leaving a regimental party dressed as an Arab suicide bomber. Fifteen police cars, along with dog handlers were called out after a passer-by spotted someone near an army base wearing an Arab-style robe, a turban and false beard, as well as orange paper, wires and candles stuffed into a jacket to make it look like he was carrying explosives. The soldier, who was drunk, was ordered to pay a small on-the-spot fine.

Weird News 2004

HASTINGS, New Zealand: A mother has been breastfeeding her Staffordshire terrier puppy, saying she did not want to waste the milk after her own daughter switched to being bottle-fed. Kura Tumanako, said she saw nothing wrong with breastfeeding the dog as she wants it to protect her baby girl as the pair grow up. "He drinks more than the baby. It doesn't hurt, but it's a little bit ticklish," she said.

Weird News 2004

SLUNJ, Croatia: A Roman Catholic priest beat up a member of his parish, threatened others with a rifle and crashed his car in a night of drunken rage after a quarrel in a restaurant. Josip Stefancic punched a guest in the face, took a rifle and waved it other guests before fleeing in his car and crashing into a tree, refusing a breath test when police arrived at the scene. His bishop, Mile Bogovic, was surprisingly understanding. "Stefancic did not act alone. The wine was with him," he said.

Weird News 2004

LONDON, England: A number of wealthy clients of the smart London restaurant Zafferano clubbed together to buy one of the most expensive truffles in the world for 40,000 euros (53,000 dollars), but it ended up spoiling in a refrigerator. The 850-gram (30-ounce) delicacy from Tuscany was put on display at the restaurant but then the chef went on holiday after locking the truffle in the fridge and taking the keys with him. When he returned after four days, he found it had rotted, forcing the owner to throw the whole thing out.

Weird News 2004

CORDOBA, Argentina: Macho Argentine types received a slap in the face when a hair salon put an advert in a local newspaper for a stylist -- but said only gay men need apply. "I have nothing against heterosexuals, but women feel more comfortable if the person taking care of them is gay," the salon owner said. "I have had a lot of complaints in the past. Most male hair stylists are trying to pick up the women."

Weird News 2004

CHISINAU, Moldova: The president of first division football club Roso saw red when the referee awarded a penalty against his team, so he leaped into his jeep, drove it on to the pitch and tried to run the hapless official down. Mikhail Makayev chased the astonished referee around the ground for several minutes until he escaped by clambering up into the stands. The match was abandoned and Roso's opponents Poitekhnik were awarded the game 3-0.
(Wizard's note: This place has been non communist for about 10m years and already allows same-sex marriage!)

Weird News 2004

GUWAHATI, India: An army officer was dismissed and another suspended after a court martial found they splashed tomato ketchup on civilians to make them look like dead Assam separatist rebels in a bid for a gallantry medal. Colonel H.S. Kohli took photos of civilians posing as corpses and gave them to his senior officers as proof of the killings, but records later showed no deaths had been reported.

Weird News 2004

PALEMBANG, Indonesia: A landmark bridge in Sumatra is in danger of collapse because too many men are urinating on one of its steel pillars. Surveyors have found that the Ampera bridge in Palembang has begun to lean at an angle and rocks slightly when traffic is heavy. Council spokesman Azmi Lakonisaid: "We are concerned that one of its main support piers has been weakened by urine, as it is a popular spot for locals to relieve themselves." He added that the acidic fluid's corrosive forces could lead to the eventual collapse of the bridge.

Weird News 2004

LONDON: British television watchdogs ruled that a pig which was sexually pleasured on camera by a minor celebrity did not feel degraded by the experience. Dozens of viewers had complained about an episode of a reality television show in which the audience were treated to the sight of Rebecca Loos, the self-proclaimed ex-lover of England football captain David Beckham, stimulating the boar for 10 minutes to produce a flask of semen. An animal charity condemned the scenes as "morbid and sordid" but the broadcasting standards body said the procedure was perfectly normal on a farm. "We don't believe that the scene was degrading or harmful to the boar," they ruled.

Weird News 2004

SHENYANG, China: A Chinese safari park decided to celebrate the New Year and the start of the Year of the Monkey by dying its primates bright red and yellow. But painting the monkeys was no easy matter job as they refused to cooperate. "We had to anaesthetize them first", a park spokesman said. "They seemed to be surprised at their new strange coats when they woke up. But after a while, they indulged themselves in pleasure."

Weird News 2004

OSLO, Norway: Until the divorce papers dropped into her letter box, a 22-year-old woman was unaware that she had been married to a complete stranger for a year. The woman's wallet was snatched some years ago and her identification cards were used in an Islamic ceremony to unite her and a Pakistani man in holy matrimony. She hopes to have the marriage annulled, but investigators have closed the case as they cannot find the man, believed to be operating under several different aliases.

Weird News 2004

HONG KONG, China: A five-year-old's innocent call to his mother landed his father in hot water. "Mummy, daddy brought a woman home and they are on the bed," the boy said and the mother rushed home to find her husband and his 20 year-old mistress canoodling and a vicious catfight broke out, which ended with the mother being arrested for possession of an offensive weapon, a kitchen knife she had allegedly tried to use and the mistress giving herself up to police shortly afterwards

*Thanks, Daryn!