What is????

What is the best form of Birth Control after 50 ?
Nudity!

What is the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
45 pounds

What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
45 minutes

Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring and good looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends!

What is the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After one year, the dog is still exited to see you.

How do you know when you are leading a pathetic life?
When a nymphomaniac tells you "lets just be friends"

What does a 65 year old women have between her breasts?
A Belly button

What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment

What's the difference between a Northern Fairy tale and a Southern Fairy tale?
A Northern one begins, "once upon a time............
A southern fairytale begins, "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit!"

*Thanks, Daryn!